Blue distraction
by LetItPour
Summary: Hard case takes a toll on rizzoli and isles. What will be the outcome when a blue eyed little girl brings them closer together
1. Chapter 1

**Hello. This is my first fic. I am really not a writer. More of a daydreamer and I thought I would share. Idk where I am going with this, but I would love opinions and feedback. Not sure if this is a one shot. We'll see.**

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><p>It had been a long hard day. Cops hate baby cases. We all know this. Innocent creatures being killed. abandoned. <em>Some people have no heart. <em>She thought. Drained from the case they had just closed. How could a mother drown her own baby? Images of the blue innocent face crept in.

_He must of been so cold, so scared._

"Jane?"

_eyes red and blue swollen shut._

"Jane…"

_He must of cried his eyes out. Did he beg her to stop? he was only 4 years young._

_"_Jane! Are you okay?"

_Bruised legs and thighs. She must have beat him. He was only 4._

_"_Jane, c'mon….It's okay."

_poor little Elliot..._

She was in a world of her own. All the demons crept in when no one was around. All this evil in the world played scenarios in her head. Played tricks. Kept her up at night. She had lost faith in humanity.

_How could she ever think this is okay?_

_"_Jane!"

She was trembled out of her frenzy by Maura's abrupt hands on her shoulders.

"Maura.." She breathed.

"It's okay Jane"

Maura rubbed her friends back. Reassuring her that everything is okay. Maura of all people knew. Know's how hard this job could get, specially for Jane. Jane has a big heart, but doesn't show it to just anyone.

" I know. Come on, everyone's gone. Let's go."

Jane shook the thoughts away. Grabbed her jacket and followed her friend out of the building. She plead with herself to leave work, at work. She can't keep torturing herself over every hard case or dead body.

The parking lot was deserted. Time had gotten away from her. _How long had i been out of it?_ She and Maura carpooled every once in a while. Grabbing breakfast before hand. Maura had wanted to try this new little french Cafe that had just opened, they were suppose to have really yummy crepes. Anything to not be embarrassed by her mothers bunny pancakes at the police cafe another morning.

"Maura, If it's okay with you. I'd rather just skip the robber and go home…I'-"

"I agree, it's been a long day. Want to grab Chinese and have dinner at home. I- I mean, My place?"

"Sounds nice Maura, Sure."

It would be a perfect end to a horrid day. Just her and her best friend and a nice quiet evening. Having some good take out and nice conversations. It was easy and comfortable with Maura. She didn't have to pretend to be something she wasn't.

The car ride "_home" _ was silent. No words had to be said. They understood. They spent their dinner eating quietly. Maura filled her in on some Chinese facts about the food. How in China they ate on the floor, barefoot. Jane was to tired to protest. She let her go on. She ate quietly. Trying to think of anything but work. Making a list in her head.

_Frankie had Jo._

_I did some Laundry, clean clothes for next week._

_I love the smell of clean sheets._

_My fridge needs cleaning._

_Hell, my whole apartment does._

_I should have frankie give Jo a bath for me._

_No, Ill just take her to the groomer, she needs her nails cut anyway._

_I'm out of milk._

_I need milk._

_A box of coco puffs too._

_Some fruit wont hurt._

_blueberries...bananas…no apples. Yuck apples._

_definitely blueberries._

_blueberries._

_blueberries._

_blue._

_blue._

_blu-_

_elliot._

_elliot._

She had gone pale. She was sweating and slightly trembling. _I hate my job sometimes_. She didn't understand why this affected her so damn much. But it did. And she couldn't keep hiding it. Specially from Maura. Maura always knew. Maura always noticed. She noticed. Jane wasn't invisible to Maura.

"Sweetie…"

Maura knew.

She grabbed Jane's hands in her own. Rubbing at the scars. It was an intimate gesture for them. As intimate as they have gotten thus far. Naked nerves exposed as Maura rubbed them gently, easing Jane back to her.

"It's okay to not be okay sometimes, Jane."

"I have to be okay. I can't keep feeling like this Maura. I just….I don't get it. Why can't I leave this at work?"

Jane clearly wasn't okay. But mostly she was mad at herself. For not being strong enough. For not being able to handle this professionally. For not leaving this behind and moving on.

"He was only 4, Maura"

"It's over Jane, You caught her. You did your job. Come on"

Jane shifted in her chair. Struggling. Her body was sore. This week had been tough. Her neck and back felt like they were in a million knots. Her head was pounding and her hands were aching.

"Jane?"

"God! My back is killing me Maur, Why do they have to make a run for it? Fucking perps ask to be tackled down"

She stretch out her body to try and catch some relief on her back muscles. A _*crack!*_ was easily heard as she twisted side to side. Jumping out of the chair another _*crack!* _ was heard.

"Fuuuuck"

"Jane! Language"

"Maura….I can't move"

"Jane, You sure did a number on your back today. You need to take it easy. I'l' give you my Chiropractor's number, She is amazing! You'll walk out of there feeling brand new. I promise"

"Maura…I'm serious. Can't….. Move…" She shifted and tried to walk "ahh…Maura. Hurts. Help"

"Here, let me."

Maura was already at her side with a warm towel. lifting her shirt and placing it on her skin.

"does that help, right here?"

"Higher"

"Okay Jane, take off your shirt then"

"wha-why?"

"I can't reach your back with it on, C'mon, I'll help, Can you lift your arms?"

"No! I told you, I can't move!"

"Jane, relax. Try to breathe. In and out. Slowly."

Jane did

"There we go, now lift one arm. Yes, okay"

She took Jane's shirt off one side of her arm. Jane dropped her head and Maura pulled her shirt off her head proceeding to take the rest off down her arm. She rubbed slow circles on her back over the warm towel loosening her muscles there. Turning the towel around, she kept rubbing eliciting a soft whimper from Jane.

"Hurts?"

"Hm? no feels good"

"Can you try to walk?"

Jane did. Moving away from Maura slowly. She slumped forward and back. A small pinch on her back. But she was better. She could move.

"Okay good. C'mon I have some Body Oils that will feel amazing."

Maura led Jane to her bedroom, Going through her cabinets she ordered Jane to take off her bra and lay stomach down on her bed. Jane did, without protest. She didn't care anymore. She just wanted to stop found what she was looking for. Ran to the kitchen to warm up the oils. Came back in and straddle Jane's bottom.

"oof!"

"Oh, am I heavy?"

"YES!"

"I'm sorry" Maura frowned climbing off Jane

"Kidding"- Jane chuckled

"Are you sure I don't want to damage your..-"

"My ass?" Jane laughed "C'mon Maura, I practically bench press you. It's okay. I was kidding"

"Okay" Maura said climbing back on. She let droplets of the oil cascade down Jane's naked back. The oils glistening on Jane's soft skin, extracting a small purr from the woman underneath her, Maura smiled.

"Feels good?"

"mmhmm…hot. good" Jane purred.

Pouring a little more oil. Maura placed the container down and started rubbing Jane's back with her palms. Spreading the oils through every inch of skin. Smearing the oil from her lower back, up to her shoulders and rubbing down her arms, to her palms, entwining their fingers. And back again, up her arms, to her shoulders and down her back. Using her thumbs to add pressure to her back muscles. She started from her lower back. molding her lovehandles. Slowly rubbing her thumbs and scraping her nails along the her thumbs and palms up her back. Stroking each muscle slowly until she reached her shoulders, focusing on the muscles there. She could feel Jane's leg squirming underneath her.

"Stay still"

"Hmm. Mm. right. kay"

She continued to stroke her thumbs adding more pressure. Rubbing down her back faster and back up again. Palms down. She slid her hand down her back feeling the hot soft oily skin underneath her. Using the heel of her palm to add some pressure to the muscles. Sliding them up her back once more, She dug her nails into her skin and scraped down jane's back provoking a loud moan from the woman. Pinching Jane's lower back with her thumbs she felt Jane writhe underneath her. Her legs squirming. She witnessed Jane stuffing her face into the pillow to stifle her moans. Jane's muscles tensed beneath her fingers. Maura continued to rub with her thumbs and occasionally gently digging her nails.

"Mmmm Fuuck"

"Jane?" arched

Maura didn't stop. Her fingers still maneuvering all over Jane's back. She noticed whenever she brought her thumbs and scraped her nails to a specific spot on her mid-lower back. Jane moaned. She continued massaging up and down her back. Adding a bit of more pressure and pinch to that exact spot. Jane moaned. Going back up and focusing on her muscles on her mid section. Maura rubbed circles. Jane arched her back into Maura's hands and stuffed her face into the pillow once again. Lowering her hand and scraping her nails down, adding pressure to her lower back. Jane began to tremble. arching into Maura's touch once more she let out another moan. Her legs bent up hitting Maura's back. She bit into the pillow and called out Maura's name.

"Jane?"

Jane had stopped breathing for a second.

"fuuuuu" Jane moaned.

Jane coming down from her high, let out a loud groan. Breathing heavily. And let her stomach hit the mattress once more. Maura softly rubbed one hand down Jane's back soothing her. She was a genius after all and knew exactly what had happened. And she didn't want jane to be embarrassed or ashamed. She climbed of Jane and laid next to her on the bed. Waited for Jane to begin to breath normal again.

"Jane"

Jane wouldn't face her. She kept her face dug into the pillow. Of course she was embarrassed.

"Jane, it's okay" Maura whispered soothingly.

Jane didn't say a word but quickly shook her head "No"

"Yes, Jane. It is. Now sleep, yes? let's just sleep"

Maura got up and went to get ready for bed. Washed her faced. Brushed her teeth and put on her silk pajamas. When she returned to bed Jane was undercovers and fast asleep. She crept in along side of her not wanting to wake her. Jane had put on her shirt and was facing Maura. Maura couldn't help but stare at Jane. She looked so peaceful. She reached over and gave Jane a soft kiss on her cheek. She was so beautiful even when she slept

_But not as beautiful as the sounds she made when she came._


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the second chapter since some of you suggested I continue. Thanks for reading! I now understand why people ask for reviews. It actually is inspiring to continue the story. again, no idea what im doing here. just having some fun. I am open to ideas. so let me know ;)**

**a huge thanks to my muse, Chelsae for everything she has helped me with.**

**My mistakes are my own.**

**Characters are so not mine.**

**with that said, Enjoy.**

She tried not to toss and turn. Staring up at the ceiling fidgeting with her hands. She let out a guttural sigh. She couldn't fall asleep. She felt like there were a thousand thoughts roaming her mind. All these voices talking at the same time. She couldn't figure out what they were saying. Her skin was on fire. Her head was throbbing. And there was this heated ache between her legs. She crossed her legs, shutting her thighs and having them rub together trying to somehow ease the slight pain. But the rubbing didn't help. It made it worse.

_Breathe, just breathe. Close your eyes._ She did._ Okay good. Now clear your mind._ She took a deep breath stretching and sinking into the mattress. _Through the nostrils, focus on my breathing, resist temptation of intruding thoughts. Breathe in_. she did. _Breathe out._ She did.

_Breathe in._

_Breathe out._

_Breathe in._

_Breathe out._

_Jane._

_Breathe in…_

_Jane._

_Jane._

_Jane._

_JANE._

_BREATHE._

Forgetting to breathe, Maura let out a loud deep breath._ Even in my slumber state you take my breathe away, jane_. She wasn't sure what this was. This thing, where Jane took over her every notion, And she didn't dare question it. She didn't want to know. For once she didn't want to over analyze this. She would rather be left wondering- for in her wanders it could be anything she desired for it to be. Rather than have the true answer to her fantasies be something she could not touch. In her reverie she could make her own truth. The truth where if she had it her way, this very moment, the ache between her legs would be eased with one-very own of Jane's warm tongue. Jane's inquisitive hands roaming about Maura's body. Her shivering moans when Maura came in her mouth. This, right now. This is her truth. This is her fantasy. This is why she can't sleep. Because as gratified as she may be lost in her thoughts, the pain of reality is becoming too much to bare. And she needs more.

The alarm clock shook her out of her musings._ Morning already?_ It read 5am. They hadn't been called in yet. She immediately reached over and hit the snooze button. She debated whether or not she should tried to catch some sleep or give in and start her day.

She maneuvered to lay on her side. Reveling at the sight of Jane Rizzoli in what looked like the most peaceful sleep. _Like a baby. _ Maura smiled. _At least one of us got a goodnights sleep_. She snuggled closer to Jane, taking in her scent and allowing her warmth to ignite her every bone. With a shudder, Maura finally drifted off to a restless sleep.

-/-

Jane had the best sleep that she has gotten in a long while. Without tossing and turning. Without her consistent torturous nightmares. She had a nice, sweet, peaceful sleep. And for that she was grateful for. She had long forgotten the hard case she had to deal with for the past week. It had only been one week. She was grateful for the distraction, but was dreading waking up, having to face her best friend after last nights unfortunate events. _unfortunate?._ Yes. Because best friends don't make each other climax. _It's inappropriate._

Jane stirred in bed. Her thoughts waking her from her peaceful slumber. She slowly opened one eye. Noticing she was alone, her eyes shot open. She immediately sat up. Getting lightheaded as she did so. _ugh too fast. dizzy. Maura?_

"Maura?"

Jane started to panic _Shit, did she leave for work early? fuck I scared her off last night. dammit dammit. fuck i'm an idiot. so fucking embarrassing. What am i going to do? agh._

"mmm"

Wait. _wait._ Jane swore she heard something. She walked over to the bathroom. The door was closed but she could hear the water running. She pressed her ear to the door and waited.

"mmm, yess"

Jane was right. There was definitely a noise coming from the shower. She couldn't help but listen in. She couldn't hear much from the pressure of the water. There was rustling and obvious maneuvering around and then she heard a loud thud.

"ahh!"

"Maura!"

-/-

The water was cool against her warm skin. She's restless but exhausted. She took her time rinsing letting the water cascade down her finest parts. She didn't wanna leave the shower. She wanted the moment of peace to last a little longer. She ran the bar of soap through her body. Down and up her arms. From her breasts to her stomach down her navel. eliciting goosebumps on her skin. Stroking her sensitive spots. Caressing her breasts. Pinching her nipples and slowly rubbing her over-sensitive clit. Maura groaned against her teeth, Swirling around to have the water fall on her face. She must have turned too fast, She slipped and dropped the soap. Involuntarily hopping off one foot to dodge the soap that was about strike her toes. Landing on her knee on the fiberglass. Her head pummeling into the shower faucet. Her soapy wet body slipped further into her tub. Head thumping into the granite. She groaned. It all happened so fast.

Next thing she knew she was opening her eyes and she saw the shadow of her best friend.

"Maura? Oh god Maura!"

"Jane? Ow."

"Here sweetie, I got you"

"Ouch. It hurts"

"Sh sh, it's okay c'mon. wrap your arm around me, like this…Yes. Okay good. You good?"

"mmm, no"

"It's okay Maura, C'mon"

Jane had a towel around her best friends limp body. Helping her out of the shower, picking her up and leading her towards the bedroom. She gracefully put Maura down on the bed, covering her as best as she could with the towel. Maura groaned and tried to get comfortable. She was disoriented. Dizzy. Had a massive headache.

"Maura sweetie, can you look at me? Open your eyes Maura"

Jane's hands were trembling, She was genuinely concerned for her best friend. She was hovering over Maura on the edge of the bed, not knowing exactly what to do to help her friend. Maura tried to open her eyes. One was a bit swollen _that's gonna bruise_ thought Jane.

"Dammit" Maura murmured

"Oh? Watch your language Doctor Isles"

"What happened, Jane?"

"You don't remember?"

"Um, I was showering. It was cold"

"Yes, and you somehow, fell. Do you remember why Maura?"

"Um.." _I can't tell her…the truth. But I can't lie. I was thinking of you Jane..._

"Yes?"

"N…Nn n n no?"

"Maura? Sweetie…Wake up. C'mon"

Maura had lost consciousness, again. Jane ran to the living room in search for her phone and dialed Frosts number. She was going to be late to work. Maura obviously had a concussion.

"Frost! Its Jane. Listen, Maura fell in the shower. I'm taking her to get checked out. We're going to be late, Can you manage the morning without me?"

"Jane? Yeah yeah. Damn. Hope the Doc is okay. It's a slow day Jane. We'll be fine. Let us know how everything goes, alright?"

"Yeah, Thanks partner. Talk to you later"

"Later Jane"

-/-

Jane had helped Maura dress into some yoga pants and a comfy her eye and ankle. Maura protested against going to the hospital for such a silly predicament. She instead had Jane call her Doctor to do a house call. Doctor May Lynn, was Maura's friend and classmate from Med School. They briefly kept in touch and Dr. Lynn would insist on having Maura visit her routinely to check her out. Little favors they did for one another.

Dr. Lynn stood over Maura flashing a light into her eyes.

"Okay Maura, You seem to have a small concussion. Nothing too big. Nothing to fuss about. But you have to take it easy okay? Any sudden movements and you'll most likely take on a dizzy spell along with nausea. Are you experiencing any of those symptoms now?"

Maura attempted to sit up and the Doctor stopped her, She groaned into her response

"Headache. Dizziness. The nausea has subsided, I'm fine really. Nothing some Acetaminophen won't cure"

She gave the Doctor her best "No really, I'm okay" Smile and looked at Jane with her "Really? I'm fine. Stop worrying" Frown.

Jane was lingering behind Dr. Lynn memorizing her every move. Making sure she checked out every bruise, sprain, pained limb and bone that her best friend endured. She freaked out at the sight of her best friend. Nude and battered on the bathroom floor. The panic that ran through her body was so severe she didn't stop to appreciate her best friends every curve and dip. And now, thats all she could think about. Maura's oh so soft and gorgeous body. Lying on that floor with the cold water spreading through fair delicate skin. Maura shivering and groaning from the pain. All she wanted to do was kiss every inch of Maura's body. Heating up her friends frigid skin with her very own tongue and mouth.

"Jane? She's going to be fine. Just make sure she takes her pills every 6 hours, preferably with food"

"Uh? yeah. yeah. I got it. I'll take good care of her Doc"

"I can take care of myself" - responded Maura.

"Clearly!" deadpanned Jane.

"Okay ladies" Doctor Lynn interrupted. "Maura, You be more careful, Call me if you need anything, yes?"

"Of course, May. Thank you for coming on such short notice. And same goes for you, anything I can do, give me a call"

The Doctor bid her adieus to both ladies and skipped out of the Isles residence. Leaving Maura and Jane behind. Jane turned her back to Maura heading to the kitchen.

"Jane? Jane! Where are you going?"

Maura tried to get out of bed and reached for the crutches the Doctor provided for her. She had a sprained ankle and wasn't to put any pressure on it for at least one whole week. Just to be sure it healed properly. She, with some trouble, managed to walk out of the bedroom, slumping into the kitchen where she found Jane starting breakfast.

"Maura! Go back to bed. You're suppose to be taking it easy!"

"Jane? Are you alright? I'm so sorry. I'm sure this was the last thing you wanted to have to deal with after the difficult week you had"

Jane went to Maura leading her to the couch. Helping her sit and setting her crutches aside. She sat with her and reassured her.

"Don't be silly. This is what friends are for. You..uh, were there for me last night. So..uh yeah just let me do the same"

"The same huh?" Maura smirked.

"Gah! You know what I mean. Sit, let me make you breakfast. I already called us in. We'll go to work a little later than usual, Will you be okay to walk? Or should I call you in sick for the rest of the day ?"

"Actually, I'll do that while you make breakfast. I am not up for work today."

With that Jane went back to the kitchen and made some scrambled eggs, turkey bacon and pancakes. While Maura called in to work. Jane made some tea for Maura and coffee for herself. She wasn't sure if she should bring it up. Last night, that is. Or this morning for that matter. _I mean, what the hell happened in there that caused her to fall?_ _it's so not Maura-like._

_"_Jane?"- Maura called out

"Yeah Maur'?"

"Um…Can you hand me the crutches? You left them all the way over there" She pouted.

Laughing, Jane walked over to the crutches and helped Maura up. "You're so cute" She lead Maura to the table island and sat her down handing her some tea and a plate full of food.

"Jane, this is way too much food for me. I don't think I'll be able to finish it all" she pouted again.

"Okay, now you're just doing it on purpose" Jane chuckled. "C'mon eat as much as you can, okay?"

They sat in silence having breakfast. Maura's appetite gone. Her thoughts were too scattered and her mind was to tired to focus on eating. Jane had seen her in all her glory. Wet and Naked. The embarrassment infused her puzzlement. She sat there playing with her food and occasionally taking a bite or two without looking up. Without facing her friend. How was she going to approach this _ what am I going to do? She is obviously uncomfortable with me, she won't even look at me._

Jane stuffed her face and was now on her second cup of coffee. Clearing her plate and washing the dishes and pots that went into the making of their breakfast. She took her time and refilled her cup of coffee. Her mind racing and heart thumping loud in her chest. _She is so obviously grossed out with me, I mean, she can't even look at me, she won't even eat, could that be the concussion? loss of appetite? I should just ask her. Or apologize or- _. Her thoughts were interrupted with at the ringing of her phone. She fumbled to dry her hands.

"Rizzoli"

"Jane? Robbery gone bad at the convenient store over on 327 Beaumont St. Looks like its not such a quiet day after all. It doesn't look good Jane. You're not gonna like this."

_"_Dammit! Alright Frost i'll be there in about 10, Did you get Dr. Pike to cover for Maura?"

"Yeah, He's on his way"

"Okay, See ya in a bit"

With a click of the phone. Jane could feel Maura's intense glare. She sighed and looked at the honey blonde sitting before her picking at her food.

"Not hungry?"

"I don't seem to have that big of an appetite, I'm sorry Jane"

"Don't worry about it, Listen I'm off to work. I'll swing by later to see how you're holding up okay? Want me to help you to bed before I go?"

"I can do it myself, Jane. Thank you though. Dinner tonight?"

"Sure, I can get some on my way here, what would you like?"

"Sushi?" Maura asked hopeful with a slight smirk.

"Really?" Jane groaned. "Only because you're hurt, I'll be back as soon as I can"

Jane leaned in to give Maura a quick kiss on the forehead. Closing her eyes Maura hummed at the slight contact of Jane's soft lips on her skin.

Surprised with her own actions Jane lingered in Maura's personal space groaning

"Uh, crap. I don't know why I did that. I'm sorry"

"it was sweet, thank you. Be safe, Jane"

"Always"

And with that Jane headed out the door into broad daylight with only one thing on her mind, _Maura_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! I never thought people would read this let alone actually REVIEW. It really helps my muse and gives me inspiration to keep going. So if you guys still want me to write, let me know! Let me know your thoughts on this. I'm glad ya'll are liking it so far.**

**Once again, Im a new born. It took me so long to figure out how to update a chapter. I found mistakes in the last ones and FF wouldn't let me correct them. I'm so sorry. I really do not have anyone to correct it or whatever so just deal? lol I'm not perfect.**

**I do not own the Rizzles. Not at all, they are not mine.**

**enjoy!**

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><p>Sunshine fell down lingering in the shadows of Boston. Making its way to corners, broken pavement and hidden places. Smoldering on her already tanned skin and glistering in her eyes. She put her aviators on and strutted down the street after having parked. She turned the corner to find an ambulance and faulty parked cop cars. Wandering strangers poking around out of curiosity. Shocked and appalled by the atrocity. Death, is never pretty. Lives stolen. Souls looking for justice and families looking for answers. She knew it then, this case was going to be another one, another one of those that makes her question her career and her choices. Another one of those that makes her faith dim.<p>

"Jane Rizzoli. Victor 8-2-5"

Tomato cans and erupted soda bottles on the floor of the convenient store. Along with a definite amount of blood spread out along the floor of the first aisle. She walked with caution in order not to slip as she pranced inside. Nodding her arrival to Frost as she knelt down along Dr. Pike.

"What do we have?"

Hovering over her Frost appeared a bit pale. With a deep breath and a hand to his mouth he winced at the sight before him.

"White female. About early 40's. Stabbed to death. Missing wallet. No Identification." Dr. Piked answered without looking up.

"Her daughter is outside. She watched it happen. And uh, over here-" Frost lead the detective to the check out counter "The robber appeared to have shot the clerk on his way out" He said pointing over at Korsak who seemed to be evaluating the crime scene.

"Jesus. Alright, Let me go talk to the daughter" - "Jane"- Frost interrupted taking a hold of her by the elbow. Jane shot a crude glance at his hand and up at Frost and barked "What?"

"She's about at least 7 to 8 years old"

"Fuck, about? what's her name?"

"She's not saying. She's not talking."

Without saying another word she walked outside capturing the vision of a little girl. _A little princess covered in blood. What a happy fucking ending_ . The little girl hovered over, sitting on the edge of the ambulance wrapped in towels shivering and holding back tears. Porcelain freckled skin and strawberry-blonde tangled braided hair. Piercing blue watery eyes staring back at her. She held her demeanor and didn't flinch as the detective approached her. _She's strong. She shouldn't have to be_. Hand clasping a teddy bear, trying to smear blood off her pink ballerina tutu. _Making herself more presentable? So cute_.

"Hi sweetie, My name Is Jane and I'm a homicide detective"

"A cop?" squeaked out of the tiny mouth

"Yes, exactly and I catch the bad guys"

"Like a super hero?"

"Yes!" Jane beamed "Exactly"

"Can you tell me your name sweetie?"

The little girl just stared at her, squirming scared. Wanting to say something, anything. Ask for help. Opening her little mouth and instantly closing it. She shook her head no and looked at her shoes. Black converse. _My kind of girl _Jane smiled.

"I know this is scary. I know that mommy tells you that there are no such things as monsters am I right?" The little girl nodded her agreement. "You see, I know. People tell you what you want to hear. But i'm with you here, okay? And I believe you. I know that monster are real" Jane said showing the little girl her scarred hands.

Little shaken blooded hands reached out to grab Jane's hand. Tracing little cold numb fingers along the rutted scars. Enduring the warmth of the bigger hand beneath hers. She used both little shaking hands to hold the detectives warm scarred hand against her own.

Jane grabbed the little girls hands warming them up with her own. She was knelt down in front of the princess, smiling and trying to reassure her. She is one of the good guys.

"Monster" the little girl whispered.

"Yeah, Monster" Jane nodded. "But I caught him. And its over now

"See? I take down the bad guys, but sometimes I can't do it alone. So I need your help here. Okay? I need you to tell me your name. Can you do that for me?"

"Jane?" She said

"Yes, that's my name. Whats yours?"

"Lizard"

Dumbfounded Jane looked around at the floor. "Huh?"

The girl giggled. "No, that's my name"

"Lizard huh?"

"Yes, my momma calls me Lizard. Elizabeth"

"Ah, Elizabeth. That's a pretty name"

"No. Its Lizard, Jane. I don't like Elizabeth"

"And why not, princess?"

Elizabeth giggled at the pet name and added "Its too girly for me!"

"Says the princess in the tutu" Jane encounter soliciting another giggle from the small child before her.

"Jane?"

"Yes, baby?"

"My momma is dead isn't she?"

Jane looked into pleading blue eyes. Searching her brain for words of comfort.

"Yes,I'm so sorry Lizard"

"I couldn't stop him. He was too strong. And momma wouldn't stop bleeding. It happened so fast" She cried. '"I could't help and I couldn't save her and-"

"Sh baby, sh. It's not your fault. You did everything you could" Jane consoled the little princess. scooping her up into her arms.

Frost and Korsak came out of the convenient store, Gurneys taking the dead bodies. The little girl jumped out of Jane's embraced and attempted to rush over to her momma's side.

"Momma!" She shouted with tears in her eyes.

Jane held her back, apologizing.

"No baby. You can't see her just yet"

"Rizzoli! Get that kid out of here" Yelled Lieutenant Cavanaugh

"What?" Jane looked at Frost and Korsak _What am I supposed to do with her? I'm a cop not a babysitter!_

"A social worker is on its way. They'll take care of her until we have more information"

"No!" Yelled Elizabeth "Please Jane! No! The monsters will get me! Please Jane. Don't let them take me. Please. I want to stay with you" She cried. Demeanor torn. No longer caring about staying strong. Her mother was gone. There was nothing to be strong about anymore. She sniffled into Jane's neck. Jane still holding her tight.

"Her name is Elizabeth" She said to her Partner.

She put the princess down and knelt before her "Sweetie, Where is your daddy huh? Is he working?"

"I don't have a daddy, I have…Well I had two mommies but…"

"Okay, Two mommies, that's fine. Where is your other mommy sweetie?"

"She's a monster"

"A monster? Does she not treat you right ?"

Elizabeth shrugged off the warm towels around her and rolled up her white sleeve. Her arm covered in little black circled scars. circled burns. Cigarette burns to be exact. She then untucked her shirt from her tutu and showed Jane scars right under her left ribcage.

"She wasn't nice to me or my little brother, So she was put away"

"Put away, She's in Jail?" Jane turned to look at Frost.

"She killed my little brother" Elizabeth whispered

"Dammit" Frost murmured.

Jane shot up, Hand covering her quivering lips. Turning to face Frost.

"Jane" Frost stated looking at his partner directly in the eyes.

"It can't be. Can it?" She whispered, mostly to herself.

She knelt back down in front of Elizabeth and asked.

"Baby, was your little brothers name, Elliot?"

"How did you know?" Asked Lizard.

"Fuck!" Shouted Frost.

Jane looked back at Frost, warning him about his language in front of the princess.

Korsak interrupted- "Jane we have to get her to the precinct we need a statement from her"

"She couldn't be the only who saw something Korsak. I mean this happened in broad daylight. Someone had to have seen something, anything"

"Yeah Jane" Frost jumped in "I got a few people who saw a man covered in blood jump in a blue 1994 chevy truck and drive away, He was wearing a ski mask though"

"Blue eyes" Whispered Elizabeth

"What was that honey?"

"He has blue eyes and light eyebrows"

"You think maybe he had blonde hair…"

"Yes, like momma's"

"This clearly wasn't any random target. He tried to make it look like a robbery" Implied Frost.

The little girl was holding Jane's right leg and burying her face in it. Closing her eyes and breathing. Jane, once again scooped her up and carried her.

"C'mon princess, let's get out of here"

They all headed back to the precinct. Walking back to her car with Elizabeth in her arms. The sun had stopped shining as bright. The corners were jet-black. Unlit. The hidden places were ominous. Another death in Boston, another tragedy and the sun knew this wasn't something to shine about.

-/-

She scampered across her bedroom in a huff. Hopping on one foot to reach her blaring cell phone on the other side of the bed. She was cranky. She didn't like being indisposed, unproductive. feeling useless. She had spent all night pent up in her thoughts. Her baffling sudden urges keeping her awake. She caught up on some much needed sleep.

"Isles" she said out of breath

"Hey Maur'. Did you get some sleep? How are you doing? How's your foot? and your eye? Is your headache -"

"Jane" Maura interrupted. "I'm fine Jane, Just a bit…groggy. My ankle and eye are fine. All is fine. I got some rest so my head is better. How's the case going?"

"Okay Maura, I'm glad you're doing a bit better. This…The case…Is…It's…It's connected to the Jeffrey case."

"Oh Jane" - Maura sympathized

"Yeah, I'll explain later, I got to go. I just wanted to call and make sure you were okay, do you need anything?"

"I can take care of myself, Jane. Am I still seeing you for dinner?"

"Y'know. I'm not sure Maur' I'll call as soon as I know"

"Oh, alright. Be s-"

"Be safe, I know. I will. Bye babe…I mean..uh"

Maura giggled at the nervous Jane.

"Goodbye Jane" and with that Maura hung up and smiled to herself.

Maura replayed the moments in her head. Last night, this morning? Finally trying to make sense of her thoughts, her feelings. Maybe she was thinking too much about it. Thinking often lead her to slight insanity and rarely ever to any happiness. She often let fear stop her from doing what she wants. From following her heart.

_She saw me naked this morning, I am not a timid person, nor am I insecure. So why is this bothering me?, Why am I thinking so much about this? is it because of last night?_

_Her lingering sweet kiss, it was nice…and..friendly._

_but she called me babe…..do friends do that?_

_Babe._

_*sigh*_

_I'm sure it didn't mean anything. I mean, best friends….do that sort of stuff, right? No, I would be guessing. How could I know? I've never had a best friend before. Is this normal behavior? It has to be…..except for the naked part…..and…well, last night._

She was thinking too much. Her ankle throbbed. Not being able to pace back and forth was giving her anxiety. She fidgeted sitting on the edge of the bed with the phone in her hand. She looked at it as though it would give her the answer. She willed it to give her any insight. She felt lost. She wanted Jane to come home and explain it to her. She had never been good at socializing. She's good at reading people, but when it comes to Jane, She was lost. But found and safe and finally felt like she belonged. All in one. And it left her in a complicated state.

-/-

After questioning and gathering all the information they could from Elizabeth, She sat in Jane Rizzoli's desk chair, coloring. She sat on her legs to be able to reach the desk. She painted a pretty picture of a beautiful family. Something she would never know. She painted a mommy. She painted the dog. She painted the little brother. She painted a blue truck. She painted the white picket fence and a pink house. She painted the green grass and the swings. The trees and the apples, the birds singing, flying, being free. The sun is shining bright in her picture, the little girl in the swing laughing, being pushed by an older man, the father, perhaps. She painted perfection.

Jane Rizzoli, Barry Frost, and Vince Korsak all gathered around and faced the evidence thrown in Korsak's desk. They went through all the details, all the facts they knew on what brought these two cases together and why they didn't catch this in the first place, or stop this before it happened. An aggravated Jane discarded of her blazer and stretched.

"How did we miss this!" Complained Jane "I mean, how in the hell, did we not know that Karen Jeffrey, had another daughter AND a wife, what else don't we know? what kind of detectives do we call ourselves!"

"Jane, clearly, she didn't want us to know about her daughter and wife, there is something off here, Okay we know that Elliot and Karen were staying in a motel over on the south side of Boston. That's no where near this convenient store, Jane. And why were they in this motel?"- Asked Frost.

"So you're thinking…Karen took Elliot?"

"I'm thinking, our Jane Doe….sorry, Whitney Jeffrey found out about the abuse. Maybe threatened to take the kids away from her. And a scared Karen took Elliot. Lightweight and he didn't fight back. From what Elizabeth has told us, they haven't seen Elliot and Karen in a month before Elliot was found"

"Okay, but why wouldn't Whitney report Elliot missing?"

"That's where we're stuck" Added Korsak.

Rising from the desk chair, a little blonde scampered over to sit on Jane's lap. She held on to Jane's neck and nuzzled her cold nose into her skin.

"You gonna find the monster that took my momma?"

"Yes, baby. That's what we're trying to do, See my partners and I are doing all we can okay? You don't worry"

"Like Batman and Robin?"

"Exactly! I'm Batman of course"

"What! Excuse me?" Disagreed Frost "If anyone is a handsome devil here, its me!" He said making an alarming face and winking at the princess.

The little blonde giggled and squirmed in Jane's lap.

Entering the building was a short african american lady, curly short brown hair, dressed in a black dress and blazer jacket, holding a bag full of kid clothes and a ragged doll, obviously having stopped by the Jeffrey residence before her arrival. She looked over to the Detectives and caught eye of her destination.

Rising to his feet, Vince Korsak shook the lady's hand. "Glenda" He started. "Detective Korsak, Hello. Nice to see you again" She turned to the two detectives rising out of their seats and introduced herself.

"Glenda Charles, from Child Protective Services" She extended her hand to a smiling Frost and a hesitant Rizzoli.

"And you must be Elizabeth!" She smiled at the little girl.

"Elizabeth, I want you to meet this nice lady, can you do that for me?" Whispered Jane.

The little princess looked up and caught eye of her favorite doll.

"Lily!" she looked at Jane eyes going wide. "That's my doll Lilly, Jane! Momma gave that to me when I was four! I thought I had lost it!"

"Well," said Glenda reaching over and handing the doll to Lizard. "I found it amongst a box with your name on it, its all yours sweetie"

"Thank you" whispered the little voice.

"I'm Glenda, and you'll be coming with me for a little while, if thats okay?"

Little Elizabeth held on to Jane Rizzoli for dear life whispering into Jane's neck "No No No No No No No. Please. No"

Jane put Elizabeth down and knelt to her, looking at her straight in the eyes and saying;

"Listen, I know its scary and I know you don't want to go, but see, this nice lady is gonna help you find a nice home. Someone who will love you and never, EVER, hurt you again, and besides, you wont be alone. You've got Lily now."

" I'm seven Jane! not stupid! She's just a doll!" Yelled Elizabeth "Why can't I just stay with you? I just want to stay with Jane!" She yelled running to Jane's desk and picking up the drawing and nuzzling back in the chair. "I'm not going anywhere, I am staying here" She cried.

Glenda turned to Jane - "Detective Rizzoli, I don't have all day, I still have to go back to my unit and find a placement for her. I have to get going"

"What do you mean find a placement for her?" Asked Rizzoli

"A foster home, or a group home"

"A group home! I told her you were gonna get her new parents!"

"Detective Rizzoli, Elizabeth is 7 years old, I'm not saying she won't get adopted, but a lot of families are looking for babies, not seven years olds, we like to remain positive that every child will get the family and home they deserve but for now she has to be put in the program. She has to go on the list, and be put in an orphanage with other little girls her age, until I can find her some foster parents or adoptive."

"And how long can that take?"

"There are a couple of people looking for someone like Elizabeth. I have their records and I'm waiting to hear back, but it shouldn't take long, 5 days the max"

"And how long for a placement?"

"About a day or two"

Jane drew in a long breath and looked over at Elizabeth. _ Don't do it, Rizzoli. You know nothing about taking care of a seven year old._

"Okay, in that case, She can stay with me" Stated Jane.

"it's not that simple, Detective. You need to have a license in order to be a foster parent-"

"This isn't a long term foster thing. Its until you find her a placement and I think this-" She said showing Glenda her badge "Should be license enough, don't you?"

"You said it yourself, it'll take a while for her to go into the program" Added Frost backing up his partner. He didn't want to watch the princess go through more turmoil.

"Once her name is in the program, take her. You can see this as free babysitting on our part" Winked Korsak.

"Alright, as soon as there is a spot for her, i'll be back. Don't get too attached, Detectives. Unless you're interested in getting licensed" Glenda caved.

Jane walked over to Elizabeth with a smile in every step.

"Sweetie, listen to me"

Elizabeth looked at her with pleading eyes.

"You can stay with me" Jane said, and a smiling princess threw herself at the detective.

"I'm not done yet" pulling the little girl away from her arms.

"You can stay with me, but this isn't forever and you need to understand that, this is only until the nice lady finds you a place to stay, are we clear? we're compromising here, can you do that? cause if you can't, you'll be going with her now"

"No no! I can compamize!" exclaimed the little girl.

"Yes, COM-PRO-MIZE. Okay, c'mere" Jane hugged her and smiled.

-/-

The phone rang and rang and rang, going to voicemail. She was spent. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this exhausted. She had missed her second pill. She was lying stomach down on the bed, her hair all over her face. She was in a deep slumber. She struggled to wake up. She could hear a distant ring. But her mind wouldn't cooperate. It was busy dreaming. It was a blur of a pink meadow filled with sunflowers. She was lost. She was looking for someone. She could feel the person ahead of her. She reached out but the person was too far. She cried out. She was scared and she didn't know why. _please._ She ran, her feet hurt and the sun was burning hot. She lost again. Couldn't feel the other person's presence anymore. She was alone. But she kept running, not knowing which direction to turn. _please. _She was crying now, and begging. She turned around heading a different direction. She heard a chuckle. A raspy chuckle. _Jane please. _ She stopped. It started raining. Everything turned _blue_. Blue meadow blue flowers and black rain. _It hurts_. The rain burned her. It was searing. She started running again. _Jane Jane! please!_. She kept running not stopping. Until she lost tripped and fell and the rain didn't stop with her. It burned her alive.

"Jane!" She cried

Jolting from her sleep. She was trembling and crying. Bringing her hands up to feel her hot tears streaming down her face. She was burning hot. Her ankle throbbing. She sat up and held her head in her hands. It was killing her. _Well not literally._ But it sure felt like it. She got up reaching for her phone. She had a voicemail. She dialed to listen.

"Maura! Its me. Listen, I've got a situation here and I don't know how you're going to feel about it so I wanted to talk to you. I'm sure you're sleeping, so uh thats good, but call me back, SOON. kay, bye."

She dialed back.

_ring_

_ring_

_ri-_

"Rizzoli"

"Jane" She breathed out

"Maura? You okay? Whats wrong?"

"Jane…" She whimpered, holding back a sob.

"Maura, what the hell! whats wrong? why are you crying? are you okay?"

"Bad dream, don't feel so good Jane"

"Listen, I wanna be there for you, but I'm bringing someone with me, I'll be there as soon as I can okay? Take your medicine Maura"

"Someone? Jane?"

"I'll explain when I get there honey, I'll see you soon"

"Wait, Jane!…please"

"Maura…."

"Just hurry please"

"Of course, sweetie. It was just a dream, okay? I'll be right there"

_click_

She took a deep breath, and grabbed the pills sitting on her night stand. She took two and attempted to lay back down. Not wanting to go back to sleep. She grabbed a book and began to wait for Jane.

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><p><strong>That's it for this chapter, don't forget to review for more! xx<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all of the alerts! I've been getting so many of them. It would be lovely if I got as many reviews as I do alerts!**

**Shout out to "Xerizzlelles" I rock? no you rock for saying I rock! & to "mymariska" -"the witch with the capital B" haha that made me laugh. & I love to laugh so thanks.**

**&To everyone else who reviewed. You're the reason for this chapter. So this one goes out to you all. Its not so long. But I did my best.**

**Ideas, suggestions on where to go from here? TELL ME! I need inspiration and YOU are my muse.**

**These characters are not mine, except for Little Lizard, and you can't have her, I'm keeping her all to myself3**

**Mistakes are my own because I, once again am not a writer and i am most certainly not perfect in anything.**

**Enjoy babies.3**

* * *

><p>Where does inner strength come from exactly? from overcoming the worst of events, right? From thriving. From experiences. From surviving. It comes in so many shapes and sizes in so many different ways and its up to us to feed it. To welcome it. To embrace it. That's what Jane Rizzoli does. She takes it one day at a time. She doesn't let the monsters win. She doesn't dwell on the nightmares.<p>

Strength is the thing that says "I'm tired, but i'll keep going anyways" it's that thing that helps you smile, when the only thing you feel your body will allow you to do is break down and cry. Winston Churchill once said that "courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen". To Jane? Courage is the push you give yourself when you're terrified of the dark, but you walk through it anyways. You may stumble over something and fall, get hurt. But you get back up. You don't give up. If Jane is anything? she is strong and courageous.

But now? Now she was temporarily responsible for this little girl. This little girl she could feel herself getting attached to. Her innocent smile, her watery blue eyes, All the pain and confusion she must be feeling. No little girl should go through this alone. She has lost her entire family. She has no one. And Jane was terrified, that these few hours she would spend with this little girl, these moments would be so magnified to her. That somehow her presence would affect this little girl and damage her more. _I'm like an infectious disease._ Jane thought

Leaving work early they started their destination to the Isles residence. Lizard, not being old enough to sit up front, but old enough to not need a car seat, sat in the back, all buckled up and ready to go, excited about her new adventure. Jane did everything she could to make this little girl feel safe and comfortable _anything to make her smile._ Jane rolled down the windows and turned on the radio, Jane immediately started singing along to the song looking at Lizard through the rearview mirror and making silly faces and winking at the girl encouraging her to sing along.

_Well i went to bed in Memphis_

_and I woke up in hollywood_

_I've got a quarter in my pocket_

_and I'd call you if I could_.

They both bobbed their heads and Jane began to use the steering wheels as a drumset. Lizard giggled and mimicked Jane using her hands, and her lap as the drums, She hummed along with the beat of the song and mumbled the wrong lyrics to the song making Jane go into a giggle fit of her own.

_I wanna rock and roll this party _

_I still wanna have some fun_

_I wanna leave you feeling breathless_

_show you how the west was won_

Jane, of course not paying close attention to the lyrics, kept singing and dancing along to the song, watching the little girl and her infectious smile.

_But I gotta fly_

_I gotta FLYYYYYYYYY_

Jane stuck out her hand and made waves in the air, _ the luxury of being a bird_ she thought and looked back at Lizard attempting to make waves with her little hand outside her window as well.

_like Steve McQueen_

_all I need's a fast machine_

_I'm gonna make it alright_

_**ooohh ohhhhh**_

_like Steve McQueen_

_underneath your radar screen_

_you'll never catch me tonight_

_**ohhhh ohhhh**_

Lizard and Jane both yelling out their _ohhh ohhh 's _ went into another giggle fit but abruptly stopped when Lizard heard;

_I ain't taking __**shit **__of no one, baby that was yesterday_

She immediately looked at jane, eyes wide open and yelled out "WHOOPS!" and with and apologetic look from Jane, The giggle fest started all over again.

_I'm an all American rebel_

_Making my big getaway _

_yeah you know its time_

_I__** gotta flyyyyy!**_

_like Steve McQueen_

_all I need's a fast machine_

_I'm gonna make it alright_

_**ooohh ohhhhh!**_

_like Steve McQueen_

_underneath your radar screen_

_you'll never catch me tonight_

_**ohhhh ohhhh!**_

They bobbed and giggled and danced all the way to their destination. For a second Jane had thought about nothing but this moment, here, with this little girl. The wind in their hair and the laughter in the air. _This is one of those moments_ she thought _ The moments you can't capture in a photograph. The little moments that mean the most. The moments that make or break something. The moments you never forget._

_-/-_

She wasn't sure why she felt so anxious. She felt some sort of unease settle over her. She could feel herself start to hyperventilate. Her heart quickening. She was on her way to the kitchen in her crutches. It had been only half an hour since she took her pain medication. She wasn't thinking straight. She took a deep breath in and out. Got herself a cup of water and looked into one of her cabinets. Behind her secret stash of hard liquor lied the little blue pills. This helps her. They help her relax. She took two in her hand and without a care, swallowed them. Without thinking about the side effects.

_Jane is running late_, she thought. _How soon is soon?_ She went to sit on the couch. _More waiting, I hate waiting _She sighed laying down on the couch._ in need of some patience, Dr. Isles._ She giggled to herself and closed her eyes and kept waiting. Forcing herself not to think of her best friend. her eyes closed but she couldn't put her mind and body at rest. She was all of a sudden wired. Extremely wired.

-/-

"Maura!" Jane called out entering Maura's home, with a Lizard on her hip and bags in her left hand. She placed the bags on the kitchen island, and put Lizard down. The princess squirmed her way into the living room where a giddy Maura abruptly sat up and turned to face Jane.

"Jane!" She squeaked. "You're finally here!" She giggled.

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine!" Said Jane walking over to her and Lizard.

"Maura, there is someone I would like you to meet"

Jane said sitting down and placing Lizard on her lap.

"This is Elizabeth"

"Lizard" whispered Elizabeth.

"Oh right, Lizard. Sorry- And she's gonna be staying with me for a bit, isn't that right, Liz-?"

"Yeah! hi! are you Jane's wife?"

Jane coughed at the unanticipated question of the mischievious seven year old.

"WHAT?..uh…No, Lizard, Maura is my friend"

"But wives are friends, too"

Maura giggled.

"HI Lizard! No Jane is my friend, My BEST friend!"

Maura swayed in her seat, and Jane looked at her concerned.

"Maura, you feeling okay?"

"I feels great Jane! So much better!"

"Whoa' there tiger, try to relax a bit, will ya'?"

"She's silly" Said Lizard.

"I just feel so rejunavated! …hum..revu…rejunavated!….no that's not right" - tongue tied , Maura continued to giggle to herself.

"rejuvenated?….Okay Maura, I think you went overboard on the happy pills"

"I might have..perhaps? I don't remember…..I'm starving Jane! What about you Lizard? Did you bring food Jane?"

Lizard nodded enthusiastically at the silly doctor.

"I ordered the pizza, it should be here soon, and I brought you that Greek Salad that you like so much"

as if on cue the doorbell rang and Lizard jumped out of Jane's lap.

"Pizza's Here!" Yelled the excited princess.

"Yay!" clapped Maura.

"Really? Maura…You know better than to take too many pills…What the hell did you do?"

The door bell rang again.

"Well I took my pain medication not so long ago….and then I wasn't feeling very relaxed …So i um, took some pills that help me….relax?"

"Maura! You don't know what could happen if you interact different drugs!…actually, YOU DO KNOW! MAURA"

"Jane, where's Elizabeth?"

Both women looked around the room frantically and saw no sign of the little Lizard.

"Oh my god, Elizabeth!" Yelled Jane.

"Pizza man!" Yelled the princess from the door.

Jane ran to the front door to see the little girl holding a pizza box with a huge smile on her face.

"Elizabeth! You're not suppose to answer the door for strangers!" Yelled Jane

"Jane, he's not a stranger, he's the pizza man!" Smiled the princess.

Maura had hopped on one foot to the front door with her wallet in hand she grabbed some cash and paid the pizza man their owed debt.

"Thank you" Said Maura as the guy grabbed the cash and walked away.

"You don't know who that could have been, honey….." proclaimed Jane.

"But Jane! You weren't answering the door and I-"

"Okay, okay. Just….next time….Let me answer, okay?"

"Kay' Jane, can we eat now?"

-/-

Elizabeth settled between Jane and Maura on the couch, Jane having convinced Maura to eat in the living room while watching The Lion King. Jane ate in silence watching the sweet, Elizabeth transfixed with the movie hardly batting an eyelash and Maura did the same.

"Wait…so..he just DIES?" cried Maura.

"Uh…." Jane looked between Maura and Elizabeth. "well…yeah Maur'. He dies"

"But why? Why would his own brother do that to him?"

"I don't know" whispered Lizard "I always wondered too" She said in a sad voice.

Both Maura and Jane looked at each other and down to Elizabeth.

"There are good people, and there are bad" whispered Maura "And someone very good once told me, that sometimes. Sometimes the good guys still win"

"Yeah?" asked Lizard.

"Yes, E_lizard_beth, you'll see" Winked Maura.

Maura looked over to a heartfelt Jane and smiled weakly, Jane reached over to grasp Maura's hand and mouthed "thank you". Maura winked at Jane, and Jane gave her a soft smile. They settled back to watch the rest of the movie in a quiet comfort. Elizabeth falling asleep with her little head on Maura's lap and feet on Jane's. There is a silence so deafening. And then there is this silence. The type of silence that can heal a part of you, a part of you, you never thought would recover. Maura closed her eyes and breathed in the moment. All of her anxiety and doubt floating away if even for a second. She invited the silence to drown her. She took a deep breath and hummed out, resting her head on Jane's shoulder. Jane sank deeper into the couch getting comfortable, she rested her head atop of Maura's. After a few minutes, she whispered.

"Am I crazy for doing this?"

No answer.

"I mean, am I crazy for thinking I can actually do this?"

Silence.

"Do this without falling in love with the little rugrat?" She gave a soft chuckle.

"That's impossible" came the response.

"What is?"

"Not falling in love with Elizabeth." Maura looked up at Jane "It's impossible, I can see it in your eyes, in your posture, in your care. You probably loved her the second you saw her, Jane"

Silence.

"And I love her too"

"What am I going to do Maur'?"

"We'll figure it out…babe"

There it was again, that intensity that makes you forget how to breathe.

"Maura" Jane breathed out.

"You came for me last night ,Jane"

"I'm sorry"

Maura reached over and entwined their fingers.

"I'm not…"

"Please, Maura….I..didn't meant to, alright? I just, I was so stressed and It's been a long time since,…well, since anyone has touched me….like that. I don't know ….I'm so so sorry" Jane was whispering.

"I couldn't sleep thinking of you"

"Maura…."

"You were all I could think about."

"Please Mau-"

"And this morning I couldn't contain myself anymore, Jane"

"You're my **best friend **Maura"

"I touched myself thinking of you…And I slipped"

"I'm not gay, Maura"

"Neither am I, Jane"

They both didn't say another word. The silence set in again. But this silence? This silence could be heard from the highest rooftops of Boston. This silence was screaming. But what was it saying, exactly?

* * *

><p><strong>okay guys! that's it for this chapter. Was it too short? Worth the wait? What was your favorite moment or line? Let me know! &amp; Don't forget I am open to suggestions! xoxo<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**So many alerts, and wonderful reviews! Thank you very much! **

**Shout out to "rzles" who actually answered the questions i asked! Silence sometimes is louder than words, am i right? ;)**

**This chapter is basically our ladies spending time/getting to know Lizard.**

**A lot of you are telling me how much you like this! if you love it so much tell your friends about it! share it ;) thank you in advanced for the lovely words of support.**

**Thanks to my friends Britt and Chelsae who put up with my craziness and help me out when I lose it3**

**enjoy!**

**Oh and yeah, the characters are not mine, they belong to other people and stuff. Okay. Now you can read:**

* * *

><p>The look on her face was priceless. Shock and amusement. She laughed.<p>

"You're doped up Maura!- You are CLEARLY not thinking straight"

Maura gave her that "Really?" look.

"No pun intended, of course" chuckled Jane.

"Jane, please…just-"

"Listen, I'm sorry it happened, okay?"

Maura was quiet. Not knowing what to say.

"Jane?"- asked Lizard, opening her little eyes and giving a yawn.

"Hey sleepyhead"

"I fell 'sleep"

"Yeah, you did. C'mon- Let's go" Said Jane getting up.

"Where are we going?" asked the princess.

"To my place, it's late sweetie and we need to sleep"

"Why can't we just stay with Maura? I like it here"

"Because I don't live here babe"

"But Jane-"

"It's fine Jane-" Interrupted Maura- "I do have a guest-room, you know?"

"Yay! See Jane, Pleaseeee" - Yawned the little girl.

Jane looked at a smiling Maura and back down to the pouting princess, Jane picked up Lizard and carried her over her shoulder. The princess yelped.

"raaawwwrr" Said Jane. "C'mon princess, off to bed we go!"

Jane took Elizabeth to the guest-room and Maura followed along. Opening the door they headed towards the bed. Maura pulled the sheets back and settled a pillow in the middle of the bed. Jane sat Liz down as she ran to get the bag containing the little girls clothes. Maura helped Lizard out of her shoes and socks.

"Are your feet cold honey?" asked Maura

"Only a little"

Jane returned and dug through the bag, finding some light blue Pj's with star patterns.

"uh, there are no socks in here" said Jane.

"Hmm, let's see" said Maura going to the other side of the bed and digging through the drawers.

Jane looked up at Maura dumb-founded not knowing what to do next.

"Do you need help with your PJ's, E_lizard_beth…or can you do it all on your own?" asked Maura as she pulled some socks out, that were clearly not hers.

"I can do it!" answered Liz- Grabbing her Pj's and standing up.

"are those mine?" Jane asked Maura laughing. "They won't fit her!"

"We can just fold them…..See?" She demonstrated as she folded the socks one by one and tossed them to Jane, eliciting a giggle from the Lizard.

Elizabeth pulled down her tutu and pants as Jane picked them up, and helped the little girl put on the socks. Lizard proceeded to discard of her clothes, starting with her shirt. she attempted to pull it over her head and giggled when she had trouble with it. Jane reached to help her pull it over her head. Liz- who was facing Jane, looked up and gave Jane a big warm smile as a thank you. Jane smiled back and looked at Maura who's face had gone pale. They exchanged a look. Maura's eyes were watery and she had held in her breath.

"Sweetie, How about a nice warm bubble bath before bed? doesn't that sound nice?" asked Jane.

"Yeah!" cheered the little Lizard.

"Maura do you mind giving her a bath while I run to my apartment and get some over night stuff for myself?"

"Not at all Jane" breathed Maura. "I'll go start the bath" she said escaping to the bathroom.

"C'mere you" said Jane sitting on the bed and grabbing a partially nude seven year old that was covered in bruises and scars, and placing her on her lap.

"What's wrong Jane?" asked the princess looking up at a teary-eyed detective.

"I just don't like that you've been hurt" whispered Jane.

"You've been hurt too" said the princess holding one of the detectives hand in her own.

"Yeah, we both have the scars to prove it" said Jane running her fingers down Liz's little scarred arm.

"They're ugly and I have them all over" Whispered Liz-.

"I have them all over too, honey. But you know what?"

"what?"

"I don't think they're ugly at all"

"No?"

"No- Scars only mean that the hurt is over. The wound is healed. It means that we won the nasty thing that has tried to destroy us. Scars mean survival."

"Like when a super hero win against the bad guys?"

"Yes. the hero survived another battle, he won"

" I still don't like looking at them"

"I don't like looking at mine either sometimes…" said Jane grabbing the little girls arm and bringing it up to her lips to kiss the scars.

"But it means we're still alive, and I think that is something very beautiful" whispered Jane. "You are beautiful and don't ever believe someone who tells you other wise, y'hear?"

"I hear" whispered the princess.

"All set" Said Maura from the bathroom doorway.

Lizard jumped off Jane's lap and ran into the bathroom. Jane followed along and leaned in the bathroom doorway with Maura. Jane could tell Maura had been crying.

"You okay?"

"I'm…a little emotional, I'm sorry Jane"

"No, don't apologize for having a heart Maura"

The princess had settled into the bathtub and began to splash around giggling.

Maura stifled a sob and turned away from the bathtub so the little girl wouldn't see her.

"She's safe now. It's gonna be okay" whispered Jane leaning closer to her friend

"She's suffered so much" cried Maura as Jane pulled her in for a hug, Maura felt like it was finally easier to breathe again. She snuggled her nose into Jane's neck and took a deep breath. in and out, and wrapped her arms around Jane's waste squeezing as tight as she could, never wanting to let go.

"You're gonna have to squeeze a lot harder than that if you're trying to break me" Chuckled Jane

Maura was crying. A silent cry. Her shoulders trembling and her breathing ragged. Jane brought her hand to the back of Maura's neck and kissed her temple.

"Shhh baby, its okay"

Maura took another deep breath in and out and kissed Jane's neck.

"Thank you" She whispered into the soft warm skin.

They pulled back and looked at each other. Jane ran her thumbs on Maura's cheeks wiping away her tears and kissed her forehead again.

"Anytime"

"JANE!" squealed the little girl. "Look!" she giggled as she was trying to give herself a mohawk with the bubbles.

"Oh, no!" said Jane in laughter heading over to lean against the bathtub in a crouching position "You're not doing it right!- here let me help" said Jane scooping up some bubbles and making a mohawk in the little girls head. Maura joined them sitting on the lid of the toilet, laughing at the silliness in front of her.

"Much better!" proclaimed the hero-detective

"Isn't it cool, Maura!" giggled Lizard

"very cool!" replied the doctor.

"Okay, Imma head out, I'll be right back Lizard"

"No Jane stay!" said the princess splashing around.

"I have to go get some stuff from my apartment, Liz- I'll be right back, I promise..ok?"

"Can't you do that after bath time?" Asked a pouting princess.

Jane sighed and looked at a smiling Maura.

"The sooner I go, the sooner I'll be back, princess" said Jane dipping her hand in the bath and splashing the little girl.

"Kay Jane, Hurry back" said Lizard

"So bossy!" laughed Jane

"Pleeeease!" added Liz with a smile.

"How could I ever say no to you?"

"Easy, like this "NO" " Laughed Lizard.

Maura couldn't contain herself any longer and bursted out laughing.

"Oh you think that's funny huh?" said Jane dipping her hand back in the tub attempting to splash Maura.

"Jane!" squealed the doctor, jumping up from her sitting position. "Don't you dare, Jane!" She attempted to walk as far away as possible from the detective and now stood back in the doorway. Jane laughed and got up and followed Maura.

Jane settled in the doorway and leaned in towards Maura running a finger on the doctors moist cheek and smiled sweetly at her.

"You gonna be okay alone with her for a bit?"

Maura smiled and nodded. She grabbed Jane's hand with her own and leaned in to the touch, humming at the sweet contact her friends scarred hands were giving her.

"You're so good with her" Whispered Maura looking up at Jane, almost seductively.

"I'm trying" Jane whispered back not wanting to pull away from Maura's gaze.

"JUST KISS HER ALREADY!" Giggled the princess.

Jane immediately pulled back at the outburst and Maura could only laugh.

-/-

It was getting late, there was no need for a rush, the streets were empty. The sky wasn't clear. There were ominous clouds hanging above her. She stared up at them while she stopped at the red light. _if i look long enough its almost as if they are following me_ she thought. She drove and they followed her all the way home.

She felt like she was a part of the sky. She was up in the clouds. Joining the coming rain, about to fall. She wasn't ready to jump, yet she felt herself stepping off anyways. Anticipating the crash against the pavement. But Maura made her fearless. Made her feel safe. _Can I count on her to catch me?_.

She took a fast cold shower and put an overnight bag together. She took a couple of minutes to herself on the couch. A spell of dizziness overcoming her from moving so fast. From perhaps, ignoring everything that was currently going on inside of her. She was determined to keep herself composed. For this little girl. For Maura. And for herself.

-/-

Quickly after Jane had departed, they finished bath time. Maura helping Elizabeth out of the tub, into her jammies, brushing her teeth and straight to bed. She settled her in the middle of the bed tucking her in. The princess yawned and smiled up at Maura.

"You really pretty" Whispered the little girl.

"Thank you. You are very beautiful yourself"

"Will you read me a story?"

"Um, well…I suppose so? I don't have any children books though"

"You don't know any stories at all?" pouted the little girl

"I'll try me best"

The little girl smiled and untucked the blankets making room for Maura to rest besides her. The doctor willingly climbed into bed with the princess and put one arm over her, holding her tight. She looked down at the little girl and thought for a second. And soon she began:

"There once was a goddess who derived from the greek culture, and her name was Artemis."

"Artemis? That's a weird name"

Maura laughed "Yes, Artemis-Now Artemis was goddess of the wilderness, the hunt and wild animals, She also became goddess of fertility and childbirth."

"Childbirth like when mommies have babies?"

"Yes- and Artemis was armed with bows and arrows"

"To hunt with?…like when Elmer hunts bugs bunny?"

"Who?"

"You know…" say's Lizard attempting to mimic the bunny and hunter "_what's up doc!…YOU CWAZY WABBIT!"_

Again,Maura laughed- "well, I don't know exactly, but that was good!"

"My brother and I used to watch it all the time"

"Yes, well that is precisely what a hunter does. That is a great example, E_lizard_beth"

"And she would take care of the forests?" Asked Elizabeth

"Artemis would roam the mountain forests with her nymphs, do you know what nymphs are?"

"No"

"They are spirits of nature, they are….girls with magic, who protect nature, springs, mountains and rivers. They are young pretty girls,…who could look just like you"

"I could be a nymph?"

"You can be anything you want, honey"

"Cool! I want to be a nymph goddess and have lots of flowers in my hair"

Maura smiled brightly at the excited Lizard.

"Now Artemis was VERY possessive and stubborn" Maura said making a "YIKES" face to Liz. "She would show her wrath on anyone who disobeyed her wishes, specially against her animals"

"Wrath?"

"Anger"

Elizabeth nodded letting Maura know she understood and urging her to continue.

"Now Agamemnon was a hero, he was the leader of Greek forces at war. And he had a daughter, and her name was Iphigenia"

"Ifinia?"

"If-eh-genia" Maura said slowly in order for Liz- to understand.

"If-eh-genia," Elizabeth repeated

"Yes, good!- Now Agamemnon came upon the wrath of Artemis- He killed one of her animals, and she was sooooo mad"

"Uh-oh!"

"I know!- So when the Greek sailed to the city of Troy, their ship was trapped by very bad wind, and the seer proclaimed that the winds would only change if Agamemnon's daughter Iphigenia was sacrificed"

"I don't get it"

"Why was the goddess mad at the hero?"

"cause he killed her animal?"

"Right and he gloated about it"

"Gloated?"

"Showed off"

"Oh! okay"

"And so the only way the hero could be redeemed- be free from blame; and have the greek reach they city of troy- would be for Agamemnon; The hero- to give up his daughter"

"They would have to kill his daughter?" whimpered Lizard- "I don't think I like this story, Maura"

"Yes, they would. I'm sorry- Maybe this story is not age appropriate"

Lizard stayed quiet, looking down at her hands.

"He didn't want to do it though" whispered Maura, smiling softly. "He didn't want to give her up, and at the last minute, Artemis changed her mind and replaced Iphigenia with a deer instead"

"So, they only killed the deer and not ifenia?"

"Exactly"

"What's the point to this story?"

"Well, you see sometimes, Elizabeth- the people we love the most are the ones that hurt us the most."

"Like my mommy?"

"Yeah"

"She didn't love me though"

"No one should ever lay a hand on you, it's never okay- You will love many people in your life, and many people will love you. And you'll get your heartbroken a couple of times, and you'll be sad. But you should never blame love, you should never be afraid of love, you should never deny yourself love. It's not loves fault"

"It's the people?"

"Yes, and you have to find the people who are worth your love"

"The ones who wont hit me and burn me?"

"Exactly"

"I miss momma" said Lizard snuggling to Maura's side.

"I know you do, sweetheart"

-/-

She let herself in, locking the door behind her. Settled her bag on the couch and headed over to the guest-bedroom. Where she captured the image of simplicity, of _beauty_. Doctor Maura Isles lay in bed spooning a little princess fast asleep. The little girl slept with her mouth slightly open. Jane smiled. Doctor Isles was the image of perfection. Jane walked over to her side of the bed and sat quietly taking in the sweet moment. She took a deep breath and whispered.

"Maura…"

She ran her finger across her cheek and leaned into her ear.

"Maura, wake up sweetie"

"mmm"

"Come on, You have to go to your bed, I'll stay here with her."

"Noo" came the childish whimper.

Jane chuckled. "C'mon Maur, don't make me carry you"

Maura smiled and moved carefully not to wake the princess. She maneuvered lazily and heavy. Her eyes still closed. Jane wrapped her arms around her waste to keep her steady and help her up. Maura yawned and swayed in her stance. Jane held her closer and breathed in her scent.

"You okay?"

"mhm" came the sleepy response, but she didn't move from her position of being in Jane's arms. She buried her face in the crook of Jane's neck, inhaled deeply, wrapped her arms around the taller woman and began to drift off to sleep again. Jane chuckled.

"Maura, Don't fall asleep on me. C'mon. I'll go tuck you in"

She held Maura by the waist as she led the way to the master bedroom. It was dark with only the moonlight gleaming through the windows, Jane lead them to the bed and untucked the sheets and helped Maura sit down. Jane grabbed the silk pajamas in the drawer and set them on the bed. Maura automatically raised her hands. Jane looked at Maura and back the Pajamas.

"Uh…okay….C'mere sleepyhead" She said helping Maura out of her shirt. Jane's breath caught in her throat when she saw Maura's bare chest. Soft ivory skin glistening in the moonlight, the soft cool breeze erecting Maura's pink nipples, the scenery she took in almost made her eyes sting. She fumbled unbuttoning the top of Maura's pajamas, Maura looked up at Jane and smiled.

"here we go" said Jane helping Maura put on the top. "can you stand up Maura? C'mon….take off your pants"

"So forward, detective" smirked Maura.

Jane chuckled a loud chuckle, letting out all the intensity that her mind was raveling in at this exact moment. Her chest felt tight. Her breathing ragged. Her skin flushed. Her eyes dark. She took a deep breath and helped Maura step out of her pants and into her silk pajamas.

They stood facing each other. Jane's hands at Maura's waist and Maura's silk top still unbuttoned. Both women breathing heavily.

"Jane" it came in a panting breath

"Yeah?" croaked the response

"You're aroused"

"Wha- No- I'm no-" she was having trouble breathing.

"It's okay, Jane"

"Maura"

"Deep breaths, in and out, Jane"

Both women breathed to calm their racing hearts and pounding aches that their bodies were now deriving. Maura stood on her tip toes and settled her nose against Jane's and breathed in with her. Jane's hands naturally wandered around Maura's naked torso and back. She grunted at the soft skin underneath her fingertips. It was warm and inviting and she couldn't stop caressing the beautiful woman that was now in her arms. Maura hummed at the contact and shivered.

"Hands. Cold?" breathed the detective.

"Feels. Good" She shook her head nudging her nose against Jane's and hummed again. "mmm" moaned the Doctor as her lips brushed the skin of Jane's cheek feeling Jane's hot skin against her lips, she trailed down to her neck where she kissed gently nibbling at Jane's pulse point. Her tongue darted out and she moaned at the salty clean taste. She inhaled. Jane smelled like soap. Clean, fresh _mmm minty_.

"God' Maura"

Maura bit Jane's neck and brought her hands to Jane's waste groping at her t-shirt searching for more contact. She gave a big sigh of relief when she felt the skin beneath her palms.

"Jane" She moaned

"Maura" She whimpered.

"Jane?"

Jane groaned.

Both women stopped.

_Wait._

Jane abruptly turned around almost shoving Maura out of their embrace.

"Jane" Cried the little girl

Jane bolted toward the doorway and crouched down in front of the little girl and Maura hurried to button her top.

"He..he..was gonna..and I couldn't,…I was so scared…move ..I can't….I'm sorry…I… scared" the princess hiccuped between words trying to catch her breath.

"Shhh, it's okay baby. No one is gonna hurt you okay? you're safe"

"He's gonna safice me Jane" Elizabeth cried "He's gonna find me"

"Safice?" Jane looked back at Maura who had a guilty look on her face. "Sweetie, no one is going to….safice….you, okay? No one will hurt you. You are here, with me. And I will protect you, are we clear?"

"clear" nodded the princess. "Jane?"

"yeah baby?"

"I …um..can I sleep with you and Maura…please?"

Jane looked back at Maura who now had a soft smile on her face.

"Sure" said the detective taking Liz's hand and walking them to the bed.

"Hop in your majesty!"

Elizabeth giggled and hopped in, settling in the middle of the bed, wiping some tears away with the back of her hand she took a deep breath and waited for the ladies to join her.

Jane stepped in front of Maura but refused to look her in the eye. Maura stepped closer and with a finger she lifted Jane's chin bringing her eyes to meet her own. She leaned in and gave Jane a kiss on the cheek.

"C'mon Jane, let's go to sleep"

They settled in bed, with Jane on Lizard's left and Maura on her right. It was quiet. The only sound you could hear was both women's ragged breathing. They inhaled and exhaled, and turned on their sides to face each other and at the child in between them. Knowing perfectly well what would be happening in this bed if this child weren't there.

The gaze was deep, intense filled with the most unbearable burning passion. They were both longing for each other. Left with a feeling of abandonment, the desperate touch that their bodies were craving was causing their insides chaos. They _throbbed,_ their stomachs in knots, burning hot.

Maura was left panting in the dark not batting an eyelash in order to not miss one moment of Jane's gaze. _I want it too, Jane. I want you. I need you. Can you hear me? I need you._

Jane groaned into the silence.

"Jane"

She was disrupted.

"Huh?"

"I said, Goodnight Jane" repeated the little girl

Jane took a deep breath.

"Goodnight, Lizard"

Jane leaned in to give Liz a kiss on the forehead.

"And Maura?"

"Huh? What about Maura?"

"Where's Maura's goodnight kiss?"

Maura smiled, _It really is impossible not to love this precious little girl._

Jane propped her head up, and waited for Maura to do the same. They leaned in hovering over Elizabeth and Jane placed a peck on Maura's lips. Maura immediately grabbed Jane's neck and deepened the kiss. Jane moaned into Maura's mouth and pulled away. She settled back on her side without saying a word.

Elizabeth smiled and cuddle closer to Jane closing her eyes.

They were staring at each other again.

Jane mouthed "Wow"

Maura smirked and winked at Jane, she rested her head on the pillow snuggling closer to Lizard. She reached over and entwined her fingers with Jane's and closed her eyes.

Both woman drifted off to sleep, thinking of each others lips against their own and anticipating the aftermath of tonights unforeseen events.

* * *

><p><strong>Love it? hate it? Isn't Lizard a funny little girl? Don't you just love that she brings out the child in Jane and softens her up a bit? And that she's sort of playing cupid for the women? Yeah me too. What do you guys think is gonna happen next? I'll give you a cookie if you answer correctly! ;)<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**As always, thank you for all the reviews! they are appreciated and loved.**

**this chapter was NOT proof read, at all. I had no one to check it or whatever, I almost don't even want to post it, but I really don't want to leave you all waiting longer, ya'll are just too sweet ;)**

**Mistakes are all mine, probably the only thing i'm good at :/ (yup its one of those nights)**

**The characters are not mine. Well not all of them. Elizabeth will forever be mine. She is alive in my heart.**

**Don't forget to share your thoughts and tell your friends about this.**

**thanks babies, enjoy!**

* * *

><p>She quietly crept out. Crawled to the end of the bed and hopped off. She was now wearing only one sock, having lost the other between the sheets during her sleep. She took the other off and set it on the bed. Her little feet against the cold wooden floors. She tip-toed to the kitchen. It was early morning and the sun was barely starting to peek its way out and join the Boston community.<p>

She felt small. Smaller than usual. She looked around the kitchen and spotted the fridge. She almost felt rude opening it without permission. She stood frozen just staring at it. _Should I open it?_ She placed her tiny palm on the fridge handle and after a beat, she gently pulled it open. Putting all her strength into that one maneuver. She smiled when she caught eye of the milk and fresh strawberries. Again, she stood there staring, her stomach rumbling out of despair and hunger. She looked around the room. She was alone. The doors were locked. She was safe. She felt her little heart beat faster. She closed her little eyes and took a deep breath. She gave in. She reached for the strawberries and quickly placed them on the floor next to her. She then tried to reach for the milk, she stood on her tip toes once again and grabbed it, it was heavy but she managed to carry it and place it next to the strawberries. She smiled and closed the fridge.

Now, to search for the bowls. She looked at the cabinets in the kitchen and started to open the ones she could reach. But no luck. She found forks and spoons and potato peelers and something that looked like scissors but with no sharp end. She spotted cups and lunged forward to reach one, accidentally tipping some over. _oops. _ again, she froze, her breath caught in her throat. She looked around, she was alone. No one heard anything. She was safe. She let herself breathe and took a cup and put the fallen ones back in their place. _is there any cereal?_ She wasn't picky. Her lifestyle never let her be. She looked around but didn't spot any. She sat on the floor next to the milk and strawberries. She opened the little container of strawberries and quickly bit into one. _mmmm _These tasted a little different than the ones she's had before, _yummier _She thought. She placed the whole thing in her mouth giggling with herself, she chewed as fast as possible. The carton of milk read _soy_ she wasn't sure what that was and she didn't really care. She put the milk between her legs and cup in front of her. She struggled to open the milk, she tried with her right hand and switched to her left. _Tada! _ she got the carton open and smiled, she attempted to pour some in the cup, her little muscles strained at the heaviness. Her arms trembled and the milk started to pour out. She must have tilted too much and the milk spilled all over and the carton fell out of her hands. Milk splashing everywhere, her little legs now wet covered in sticky soy milk. She gasped. Her little eyes immediately watering, her tiny lips quivering.

"Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth immediately shot up at the mention of her name. She froze standing above the mess and saw a figure moving toward her.

"Elizabeth?"

-/-

Maura Isles stirred in bed. She opened her eyes to a sleeping detective. She smiled. She always loved how peaceful her friend looked while she slept. All walls she worked so hard to build were down. She looked almost vulnerable. Maura wanted to lean in and take in Jane's scent, stroke her hair, feel the softness of her skin. She went in to do so when she realized someone was missing. She looked under the covers but there was no Lizard. She quickly sat up and saw a sock at the end of the bed. Her heart started to race. _Oh dear, Elizabeth. _ She quickly got out of bed not bothering to be soft in her movements in order to not wake Jane. Jane stirred when she felt the bed tilt. Maura ran out of the room without looking back.

She was in a frenzy. _Maybe she went back to the guest-room. _ She checked the room but there was no sign of a little girl "Elizabeth?" she called out.

Her mind was consumed with worry and her heart was beating so hard against her chest it wasn't letting her focus. She scrambled around on her bad ankle until she found herself in the kitchen staring at a little girl and a big mess.

"Elizabeth" she said.

The little girl squirmed and cried. Maura stepped in closer and the girl backed away.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" cried Elizabeth.

"Lizard" Breathed Maura in relief

"Please, I'm sorry I didn't mean to. I was just so hungry" She backed away until her head hit the counter "ow" she said rubbing her head and crying.

Maura leaned down, grabbed the strawberries and milk carton, placed them on the kitchen island, and attempted to get closer to the girl, being careful not to slip.

"Please don't hurt me, I promise I'll be better" cried the little girl. "I promise, please"

"Sweetheart, I would never lay a hand on you. I am not going to hurt you, **I ** promise you that. Now, please come meet me halfway and give me a good-morning hug" Smiled the Doctor.

Elizabeth just stared at her confused. _But aren't you going to punish me for being bad? for taking food whenever I wish? for making a mess?_

"Eliiizzaarrddbetthh" Sang Maura and winked at the girl.

Elizabeth gave a sigh of relief and plunged herself towards the doctor. Maura hugged her tightly and picked her up. Elizabeth cried into the Doctors neck.

"Maura?" came the raspy voice behind them.

The Detective entered the kitchen to a mess on the floor and to her friend embracing a crying little girl.

"Oh geez, what happened Maur'? Is she okay? Is she hurt?"

"I'm sorry, Jane" cried the little girl.

"Why are you sorry, honey?"

The little girl looked down at the big mess.

"We had an accident" said Maura. "Spilled milk, and she is very upset about it" she whispered to Jane.

"Oh, Lizard. Are you kidding me?" Laughed the detective.

"I spill things on a daily basis! it's like my second job! it's nothing to be sorry about, these things happen all the time"

Elizabeth looked at Jane and then at a smiling Maura.

"Really?" asked the little girl.

"Really" answered Maura "You should see her wardrobe, almost every shirt has a stain"

"What! THAT'S not true. She's exaggerating it! Don't listen to her Liz-"

Lizard laughed and wiped some tears away.

"I don't lie, Jane"

Jane rolled her eyes and took Elizabeth from Maura's arms.

"C'mon, help me clean up this mess and we'll make some breakfast, how does that sound?"

"mmm! I'm starving!" Said the little girl.

"I don't know how that's possible, you ate half the pizza last night, fatty"

"She's a growing child, Jane" Started Maura " Children her age need-"

"No. No. Stop right there!" Interrupted Jane "It's too early in the morning for your fun facts"

Lizard laughed so loud it made Jane and Maura smile brightly.

"How about, you and me.."

"You and I " Corrected Maura.

Jane rolled her eyes again.

" YOU AND I" Jane repeated looking at Lizard "Make Doctor Isles some breakfast while she rests and ices her bad ankle?"

"Can we make bacon?"

"That's my girl! of course, it wouldn't be breakfast without bacon!"

"I only have turkey bacon, Jane"

"Okay, THAT is not real bacon"

Elizabeth laughed again "I've never tried that kind"

"Well, first time for everything" Smiled Jane grabbing some paper towel and handing it to Lizard.

Elizabeth started cleaning and Jane grabbed some ice and handed it to Maura.

"Go sit, Maur' I got it from here".

Maura headed towards the couch as the girls finished cleaning and started breakfast.

-/-

It was a bright and quiet morning. Jane had over cooked the bacon and Lizard had burnt the toast. Maura had watched the way Jane cared for Elizabeth, helping her reach things and making sure she didn't hurt herself, but at the same time making her feel as part of the family, making her feel involved in the making of their breakfast.

They now sat in the dining room table, Elizabeth, being a messy eater, had some yam smeared on the side of her lip. Maura and Jane had not spoken any words regarding their night before. They tip toed around the subject, discussing solely work or the little girl that was now seated in front of them eating. There was definitely tension between them and neither women knew what to say to the other. They ate quietly, Jane accidentally elbowing Maura.

"Sorry" she murmured in between sips of coffee.

Maura only smiled at her and picked at her food.

"Jane?"

"Yeah?"

"Am I going with the nice lady today?"

Both women stopped eating to look at each other.

"Well.." Jane leaned in to wipe the corner of Elizabeth's mouth with her napkin "She hasn't called me yet, honey. So i'm not sure"

"Oh..okay" Elizabeth looked down to her plate and finished her bacon.

"Can I be excused?"

"Uh sure, Liz-"

Elizabeth stood from her chair and picked up her plate.

"It's okay, Lizard. I'll get your plate" Liz- put her plate back on the table and skipped into the bedroom.

Jane stood picking up her own plate along with Lizards.

"You done, Maur?"

"It's fine, Jane" she replied attempting to get up "I got it"

"Don't be silly, rest your ankle you just about made it worse stomping around on it this morning AND last night. Sit, i'll get you your medication"

Jane headed into the kitchen, placed all the plates into the sink and reached to grab Maura's medicine.

She returned and handed Maura her medicine and took the rest of the plates to the sink and proceeded to wash the plates.

"I have a dishwasher, Jane"

"I know, it won't hurt to at least soak them in the water beforehand"

"Since when do you like to wash dishes, Jane?" asked Maura getting up and moving towards the Detective.

Jane chuckled, "Good question"

Maura crept in behind her and wrapped her arms around Jane's waist. She hummed into Jane's back and took a deep breath.

Jane stilled her movements and tensed under Maura's embrace.

"Maura, what are you doing?"

"Holding you"

"Why?"

"Because I felt the urge to, so I did"

"Do you always act on your urges?"

She thought about it.

"Hmm, I suppose not. I didn't last night"

"Right" Jane had to remind herself to breathe

"You felt it too, didn't you Jane?"

"felt what?"

"_Urges" _ purred the woman behind her.

Jane groaned, dried her hands and turned around in Maura's embrace.

"Maura, we can't"

"_we _can't?"

"well _I _can't"

"You can't what?"

Jane sighed and closed her eyes

"Jane?"

"I just can't Maura"

"I don't understand, Jane"

Jane looked around making sure the little girl was not in the room with them, she took a deep breath, lowered her mouth to her friends ear and whispered.

"I can't act upon these urges"

Jane's raspy voice made Maura shiver and she practically moan out

"I knew you felt them too, Jane"

Jane pulled back and smirked

"Oh, so you guessed?"

"No! no, I hypothesized"

Jane chuckled, she was staring at Maura's lips.

"And right now, Detective. I hypothesize that you want to kiss me"

"And what would give you that Idea, Doctor Isles?" Jane leaned in.

Maura licked her lips and stood on her tip toes.

"Jane"

"Maura, I want more than anything, to kiss you again.."

"What's stopping you?"

"You are"

"No I am not, I _really _ want you to kiss me"

"I can't. You are my best friend."

"Jane" Maura pleaded

"I won't risk our friendship Maura"

"You are the bravest person I know, Jane…Why won't -"

"Maura-" Jane interrupted "I _hardly_ ever admit my fear."

Maura stood listening.

"Well losing you? that scares the crap out of me. More than being stalked by some psycho killer, more than some rogue cop aiming his gun to my head, more than chasing an armed perp, do you see? i'd rather go through THAT over and over than to EVER lose my best friend. So as much as I want to have my way with you, right now. I won't. I cannot risk our friendship. I refuse to lose you. That might be unfair to you and that might be really selfish and stubborn of me. But if that means I get to keep my best friend. Than so be it"

Elizabeth returned back from the bedroom. She was dressed in jeans and had put her tutu back on. She was wearing a mustard yellow shirt with a big rainbow butterfly in the middle.

"momma?" She called out immediately realizing the mistake she made "Um…I mean, Jane?"

Jane separated herself from Maura.

"Yeah?"

"I don't gots socks to wear" She said holding up her shoes.

"Oh!" exclaimed Maura. "I put yours in the washer last night, let me go get them" Maura limped out of the kitchen before Jane could protest.

"Jane? can you braid my hair?" Liz- asked holding up her brush and some hair-ties.

"I..uh…braid?" Jane stepped behind liz- and propped her on the island chair. She picked up the comb and started brushing her hair. "Hm, let's see" Once she got Elizabeth's hair untangled she attempted to braid it. She separated the hairs into three parts, took one part and put it under the other, took the other and put that section of hair over the other strands. She stopped.

"Yup, nope! I can't braid hair. Sorry Lizard, how about a pony tail?"

"Okay" said Lizard with a pout.

Jane finished Elizabeth's high ponytail as Maura stepped back into the room. Jane took the socks from Maura and proceeded to help Lizard into the socks and shoes.

Maura was quiet and hesitant. She felt vulnerable and rejected. She tried to control her face muscles. _Don't cry Maura_.

Jane went to put the dishes in the dishwasher. Maura cornered Jane.

"Jane. I would simply like to state that I understand perfectly where your decision is coming from and I will respect it"

"Thanks Maura" Jane said hesitantly looking over at Elizabeth and back at Maura who was still cornering her.

"But?" asked Jane

"But… I did not realize our first kiss would also be our last"

"Oh"

"Yeah"

"Sooo…what Maura?"

"If I had known Jane,…..well…"

"Well what Maura? spit it out"

Maura cringed and spoke clear and fast.

"If I knew our first kiss was also going to be our last, I would have found a way to make that kiss last forever" She said in verge of tears.

"Maura…"

"I _need_ our last kiss. I'll need the closure. Please, Jane. Don't make me beg for it because I -"

Jane's lips interrupted the words that were flowing out of Maura's mouth. Jane leaned in with every bit of desire she had and gave it all to Maura, pushing her into the refrigerator. Jane's hands went to the back of Maura's neck her thumbs brushing Maura's cheeks. Maura clutched on to Jane's button up shirt, holding on for dear life.

Elizabeth clapped her hands and giggled at the show in front of her.

_Maura and Jane sitting in a tree_

Maura moaned into Jane's mouth as Jane's tongue danced with her own.

_k - i - s - s - i - n - g_

Jane groaned as Maura sucked at Jane's bottom lip and nibbled on it.

_first comes love, then comes marriage_

Jane thrusted her hips into Maura's as she took Maura's tongue and sucked on it gently and slow.

_then comes the baby in the baby carriage_

Maura passed her tongue along Jane's bottom lip and kissed her deeply, taking first Jane's bottom lip into her mouth and then her top and sucking lightly.

_that's not all, that's not all._

Jane cupped Maura's face with both hands and placed a soft kiss on her lips, trailing to the corner of her lips, to kiss her cheek, kiss her eyes, kiss her forehead and kiss her nose.

Their foreheads resting against each other Jane smiled and whispered along with Lizard.

_the baby's drinking alcohol._

-/-

Head held high, She walked into work wearing flats for the first time. She walked hand in hand with a seven year old and a crutch in the other. She sat Elizabeth on the couch in her office as she went to finish her paperwork on her desk. She has a lot of catching up to do. She handed Elizabeth some pens and paper. Liz- occupied herself with that while Maura got to work.

Elizabeth froze looking at the paper in front of her. White blank piece of paper, it could go either way. She could create anything she wanted. Her own universe. A utopia for princess Lizard. A different life for herself. She could draw her momma. But she could not bring her back to life no matter how hard she willed her to. She thought of the man. The very angry monster who had attacked her mother.

_**'You think you can do whatever the hell you please you damn bitch'**_

_**The man yelled grabbing Whitney Jeffrey and tossing the little girl aside who went flying into some soda bottles.**_

_**"Bitch…" She heard the man yell "This is your fault" He said beating her. "You put her away" He stabbed her repeatedly. "Dyke!" **_

_**Elizabeth cried and had trouble getting up. She threw herself onto the man yelling "leave my momma alone!" It was no use. He was too strong and he shoved her again as she went flying and tipped over cans. It all happened so fast.**_

She remembered it so vividly.

His blue eyes.

His torn faded ski mask.

The clover tattoo on his left index finger.

The way he smelled of cigarettes and sweat.

The angry look in his eyes.

And the loud bang at the end that made her feel as though her ears were bleeding.

It was all there, printed on her white paper. Her nightmare. The man who took everything away from her.

-/-

They presented their badges, handed in their weapons and went through the first locked door where they were asked to remove their belts, shoes, jackets and watches. The prison was cold. The walls were gray. And you could hear the echo's of just about anything. The drops of water in faulty faucets. The steps of inmates in their cells. _The shadows. _ She swore she could hear her own shadow following behind her. Jane shivered as she entered.

"Lucky day, Detectives. No pat down" Said Officer Rodney smirking at Korsak.

"Rodney!" Greeted Korsak. "Nice to see you on these brighter pastures" He joked.

Rodney smiled back and shook Korsak's hand. "Good to see you too, Vince"

The detectives proceeded through their security check out and put their clothes back on but left all jewelry and weapons behind.

"Here to see, Jeffrey correct?…..right this way"

Officer Rodney lead them to the cubicle where a petite woman in a orange jump suite sat behind glass with a phone held to her ear. She was pale. Dark eyes. Strawberry blonde hair- _just like Lizards _Thought Jane.

The woman smirked at Jane as the Detective sat down and picked up the phone.

"What are you smiling about, Karen?" Asked the Detective. "Happy that whoever you paid off to murder Whitney succeeded in your plan?"

"I did not such thing"- Karen was sweating and shivering and was covered in a rash.

"Like hell you did!"

"Jane-" warned Korsak from behind.

"Who was it, Karen? huh? Who did this. I know you know"

"I know nothing!" She yelled. "I am innocent! I am innocent!"

"You murdered your own child. your FOUR year old little boy with your BARE hands. Don't sit there and play innocent with me!"

"I didn't do it!" She cried "I would never hurt him, THAT bitch of a wife did it! I took him to protect him!" She cried.

"Bullshit" Jane said in a calm voice. "We all know what you did to those poor children, It's too late to play innocent now, Karen"

"You're a dumbfuck detective, you know that?" smirked Karen.

"We're going to find who did this, with…or without your help" said the detective.

Karen laughed.

"How does it feel, Karen? The withdrawals?" smiled Jane "Does it hurt? Is it driving you insane? are you craving the one thing you can't have?"

Karen sat stomped. Not expecting that question from the detective. She composed herself and smiled again.

"I can have anything I want" said Karen with an evil smirk on her face "But, see detective, you made a mistake. I **am** innocent. and I am getting clean, for **my** daughter Elizabeth, So when I get out of here, and I guarantee you, I WILL get out of here, I can go and be the mother she _deserves." _

_"_You won't EVER lay another hand on her, DO YOU HEAR ME!" yelled Jane.

"Jane" called Korsak laying his hand on Jane's shoulder. "She's just trying to get to you, don't let her"

Jane sat back and stared down the woman smirking in front of her.

"How is she, by the way? My _baby? _ are they taking good care of her?"

Jane didn't answer and simply looked at her and smiled.

"That's none of your concern anymore, and it won't ever be"

"Oh, we'll see about that, Detective. Now, you've wasted my time. I'll be going. Guards?" She called out hanging up the phone and standing up.

Jane growled and slammed the phone.

-/-

_How do you let go of something that was never yours to hold on to?_ This is a question that puzzled the doctor as she walked down to the cafe with Elizabeth by her side.

They entered the cafe and sat down.

"Dr. Isles!" the older woman called out walking towards Maura.

"Mrs. Rizzoli, Hello" Smiled Maura.

"And who's this cute thing?" smiled Angela looking over at Elizabeth

"I'm Lizard and I'm seven!" said the little girl.

"Oh! Lizard. Well that's a….unique name!" chuckled the older woman "Would you like some apple juice honey?"

"Um…do you have any grape juice?" asked the hopeful little girl.

"I do not, no. I can make you a nice milkshake? would you like that?"

"mmmm strawberry?"

"Yes! Strawberry milkshake coming right up! And for you honey?" She asked turning to face Maura.

"You know, I think I'll have a strawberry milkshake as well, It sounds delicious! And it would go well with my medication" She said digging in her bag for her pain killers.

Maura took one pill and set in her palm and eagerly waited for Angela to come back with their milkshake. She smiled at Lizard who was still holding on to her drawing.

"Can I take a look at what you drew, E_lizard_beth?"

Lizard hesitantly handed over the folded up paper to Dr. Isles. Maura took it and unfolded it smiling at the little girl. What she saw disturbed her. She smiled at Elizabeth as her heart clenched in her chest. She wanted to say something. Do something to comfort the little girl in front of her.

"Sweetie…"

Elizabeth just looked at her. No emotion in her little eyes. _numb_. She held her head high as Maura looked at her with sad eyes.

"Here you go, Ladies!"

Angela returned with the Milkshakes.

"Enjoy! Can I get you anything else?"

"No thank you, we're fine"

"Has Jane had a chance to grab something to eat? I know how hard you two work, I-"

"Rizzoli! I pay you to work. Not chit chat! Get back to it" Yelled Stan from the counter.

Angela rolled her eyes and excused herself from the girls.

"Lizard?" asked Maura.

"This is yummy!" exclaimed the little girl taking a huge sip of her milkshake.

Maura sighed and nodded. She put her pill in her mouth and swallowed it down with some strawberry goodness.

"mmm, you're right Elizabeth this is delicious. How about we take one to Jane?"

"Yeah!"

-/-

"She had something to do with this, I know she did"

"Hunch?"

"Definitely"

Korsak and Frost sat at their desks as Jane paced back and forth. She was burning a hole in the carpet. She clenched and unclenched her fists and muttered to herself. Both Korsak and Frost looked at each other and worried for their partner. This case was really getting to her. She closed her eyes and walked right into Maura Isles who had been holding a cold beverage.

"Agh!"

Maura abruptly jumped back and winced in pain. Her designer blouse now ruined by a strawberry milkshake.

"Geez Maura! I didn't even see you there" said Jane scurrying around looking for napkins. Frost handed Jane some and Jane began to help Maura clean up.

"Well, it is difficult to see when ones eyes are closed" spoke Maura as she dabbed a finger to her chest to catch a running drop of strawberry milkshake. She licked her finger and smiled up at Jane.

"Maura" Jane grunted.

"Yes?"

"Nothing….just….don't get in my way next time" said Jane shoving the napkin in Maura's hand.

It was a harsh gesture that probably shouldn't have affected her the way it did. But her emotions had taken a toll this morning and there was only so much she could handle. She attempted to move back a step and winced at the throbbing in her ankle and the ache in her chest, at that moment everything seemed to hurt.

"Maura, are you crying?"

"No" She whispered quietly.

"Yeah you are Maur'!"

"Will you stop yelling?"

"I'm not yelling!"

Elizabeth stood behind Maura and stared up at Jane with a concerned look on her face.

"Maura, I didn't mean to spill the drink on you, okay? it was an accident, please don't cry. I'll buy you a new top alright? even if I have to save up for years" Jane smirked.

Maura handed Jane her now spilled milkshake.

"Elizabeth and I thought you might like a snack"

"It's yummy" whispered Lizard

Jane sighed and took the drink.

"Thank you"

"Elizabeth, how about you go say hi to Detective Frost ?" asked Maura.

"Kay!"

Lizard ran up to Frost and he pulled her on to his lap.

"Jane, I think you should see this" Maura said pulling the paper out of her bag.

"What is it?" asked the detective unfolding the paper.

She cringed, trying to make out the blotted ink.

A man with angry eyes and freckled skin. A monster hiding in disguise. Skin marked by scars and ink. Violence in the shape of a clover on a white piece of paper. A little girls nightmare come to life in cartoon characters. A vivid memory. Salty tears and harsh cold words. Everything was jotted down. Not forgotten. The pain _Lizard _must be feeling. Something that has now scarred her for life. And Jane was looking right at it.

-/-

Three hours later and a sleeping princess lay across the couch in the M.E's office. And a Doctor Isles sat in her desk chair looking at her computer screen with tired heavy eyes. Her eyes burned and her head ached and all she wanted was to take another little pill, She reached for her bag and opened it, she looked at the bottle of pills, opened it and took one in her hand. she quickly closed up her bag. She fiddled with the little pill in her palm. flicking it with her thumb and thinking about the ecstasy such a small caplet could cause, let alone two…or three. She looked back at her bag but before she could reach she was disrupted.

"Maura?"

called out the detective entering the doctor's office.

Maura pressed a finger to her lip and pointed to the sleeping little girl over on the couch.

_oh _mouthed Jane and creeped quietly over to Maura.

"You doing okay?"

"Just tired" said Maura putting her attention back to the computer without looking up at Jane"You?"

"Same" whispered Jane.

The air was thick, the room was cold but Maura was breaking out in a sweat. She blinked, opened her eyes and blinked again.

"You don't seem okay"

"My eyes are bothering me"

"You need some eyedrops"

"You are correct, I'll get some on my way home. Thank you, Jane"

"I'm done for the day, I can wait for you and maybe we can have dinner?"

"That sounds lovely Jane, but if you don't mind i'd like to spend the evening alone"

"oh"

Maura finished typing up her report and looked up at Jane who had disappointment written all over her face.

"I just need some rest Jane, and I am sure you do too."

"I do, but I also have a little girl to take care of" Jane said walking over to Elizabeth and picking her up carefully and slowly.

"Have a good evening Doctor Isles, I hope you get your rest" she said walking out.

"Jane"

Jane stopped and turned around to face Maura.

She could feel herself retracting. closing herself off, pushing Jane away. She couldn't stop herself. Every time she looked into Jane's eyes she put another brick in her wall. Another lock around her heart.

_Let me love you, Jane._

_"_What?" Jane barked not meaning to sound so annoyed.

"Drive safe"

And with that, Maura was left alone. She took the pill and swallowed it dry.

* * *

><p><strong>Who else wants to slap fucking Karen Jeffrey. For reals. And who else wants to hug Maura? Have you ever been rejected? Yes? So you know how crappy it feels? Yeah. It sucks. But I honestly understand where Jane is coming from. <strong>

**Have you guys figured out who the killer is yet? :p let me know! xxoo**


	7. Chapter 7

**Let's talk about how long the last chapter was. I had to split it up on LiveJournal. Damn. So, I'm trying to keep them shorter.**

**I'm going at a slow pace with this. Specially with Jane and Maura. I want it to be organic and not forceful. I've had complaints. & you know, no one is forced to read this. If you don't like it, don't read it. Simple as that.**

**Maura is having a hard time with the rejection. Who the hell would ever have an easy time with it? No one.**

**No 'beta' for none of my stuff. Mistakes are my own. **

**I really appreciate the review, it lets me know people are actually enjoying this, which is why I write it. and do my best to post as soon as possible for ya'll. **

**enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Jane breathed along with the falling drizzles of water. Heavy drops and heavy breaths. She held on to the steering wheel a little tighter than usual and drove with caution. She looked back to the seven year old asleep in the back seat of her car. She smiled and looked forward. She watched the light turn yellow, she watched it turn red. She looked up and watched the clouds stay the same, they were dark with almost a sinister feeling to them. The water falling could be holy and if she stepped out into the smothered air would it burn her? The car honking in back; shook her, and she continued to drive.<p>

Elizabeth awoke with the sound of the blaring horn. Disoriented she wiped at her eyes and blinked. She saw Jane. A look on her face that she did not know the word for. _Sad?_ But that word seemed too small. It was raining, it was cold and she shivered and that feeling came back, the one she tried so hard to get rid of. Panic. Was this it? Was she going to be given away now? like a mutt someone finds on the street that nobody wants because it's dirty and it smells and _you don't know where that things been. _She cleared her throat and forced herself not to cry. If her _mother_ had taught her anything? it was to not _cry like a little girl_. Something she was told often. _*whip* does it hurt? *whip* don't cry! *whip* it makes you weak! *whip* makes you pathetic! *whip* Life hurts, get used to it. *whip*._

"You're awake" smiled the Detective as she parked her car around the corner of her apartment.

"Where are we?" asked a worried Elizabeth.

"You'll see" replied Jane getting out of the car and going around to open the door for Liz.

"Come on, Lizard"

Elizabeth reluctantly stepped out looking around, the drops of rain making it hard for her to keep her eyes open.

"This isn't Maura's house"

"No it's not"

Elizabeth stepped away from Jane and looked at her.

"You're giving me back now, aren't you?"

"Liz" Jane stepped towards her.

"No! don't touch me!"

She ran. She didn't know where she was going. She wanted to go to a place where no one would hurt her. _A place worthy of my love_ . She recalled the words once whispered to her. They brought her comfort and safety and she thought of Doctor Isles. Her pretty green eyes that sometimes looked brown which confused her because she wasn't sure what color they exactly were. And she thought of her silky smooth hair and how warm her neck was and how good it smelled. She thought of her voice when it sang out to her _Elizarbeth. _But most of all she thought of the promise the Doctor made her. _I'll never lay a hand on you, i'll never hurt you, I promise._ So, she ran, she ran and she searched for Maura Isles.

-/-

The terror that went through her body the moment the little girl in front of her fled was the burn. The burn Jane was expecting from the rain, and it triggered the most outrages sense of adrenaline in her body and it started off at her feet. They pounded hard against the slippery pavement, the fire coursing through her body lingered to her chest and caused the nerves there to go up in flames. Her heart exploded, and her mind was tormented with every passing thought of things that could go wrong in the next few seconds. _She could fall, or slip. She could run into the streets and get hit by a car. I could lose her._ She ran faster, she could see the little girl scurry. She was fast., But not fast enough.

"Elizabeth!" yelled Jane, She was angry. Beyond pissed off. Pissed off at the world. At the rain. At herself. And at the little girl who decided to make her night more difficult.

She caught up to the little girl and grabbed her by the arm, Elizabeth pulled away but Jane's hold was strong on her.

"Ow" cried the little girl and fell to the wet dirty pavement.

"Liz" Jane crouched down with her.

Elizabeth rubbed at her arm.

"Elizabeth" Jane whispered and helped Lizard rub at her arm. "I didn't mean to grab you so hard, i'm sorry. But please don't run from me again"

Elizabeth went limp and cried. She cried for the pain in her arm and she cried for the pain inside of her.

Jane took her in her arms and laid sitting on the cold, wet cement rocking Elizabeth back and forth. The rain kept them company in the fall.

"Shh baby, it's okay. You're okay. You're safe"

The sobs came quiet and Liz trembled in her arms. Jane kissed her wet hair and cooed in her ear. Rocking back and forth.

"We are going to my apartment, Lizard. Jo Friday is really looking forward to meeting you" She whispered. "There's nothing to be afraid of. She's very friendly. Doesn't bite. She does however LOVE her chew toys"

That caught the little girls attention and she looked up at Jane with a small grin.

"A puppy?" She whispered.

"Mhm" Jane winked. "We don't wanna keep her waiting, now do we?"

"No"

They got up and walked. Elizabeth reached to hold Jane's hand and Jane squeezed it and started to swing their hands back and forth lightly. The rain started to fall faster and harder but neither flinched. They simply smiled at the rain and continued to walk at their calm pace.

"Her name is Jo Friday?"

"Yes"

"JO?"

"Yes _LIZARD. _Her name is Jo Friday. Guess who named her"

"Not Maura!"

"Nope"

"You?"

"Nope, Korsak did. It's short for Josephine"

"That's an ugly name"

"Look who's talking, _Lizard_ "

Elizabeth stopped walking to look up at Jane.

"That was mean, Jane"

Jane chuckled and put her arm around the little girl and they continued walking.

"Has anyone ever told you, you're sort of awesome for a seven year old?"

"Nope"

"Well, You are."

"You are too"

-/-

Disappointment ;'_ the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations_' . This is a word that defined Maura Isles. At this moment this was what consumed her for more reasons than one. More reason's than solely because she had poured her heart out and it had been crushed, fragments of it heaving from every inch of wall and every corner she encountered. Disappointment in the rejection. Disappointment in the regret. Disappointment in the actions.

The actions on her part. She knows better. She is a Doctor after all. She knows that a pill will not cure any heartache. She knows it does not work like that. Heartbreak is not a Headache. There is no medication for it. No matter how many doses of numerous of medications she poured into her system. That break, that ache, that tear in her chest will not ease. _A heart cannot_ break. She thought to herself,_ it is scientifically impossible, if my heart was truly broken. Shattered in a million pieces, I would not be alive._ She spilled the caplets down the toilet and flushed. She frowned. _How bittersweet; cause of death done by heartbreak._ No more aches, no more misery. _unfortunately, not possible. _She was very much alive because she was feeling everything.

-/-

"She likes you!"

"I like her too!"

The excited pup sat in Elizabeth's lap on the couch reaching up to kiss at her face. She yipped in contentment at the new human that was giving her all the attention and love.

"That tickles!"

"Yuck, yeah don't let her lick your face Liz-" Called Jane from the kitchen.

Elizabeth giggled as she tried to calm the bewildered pup.

"Go wash your hands! Grilled cheese is ready!"

Elizabeth jumped off the couch and Jo jumped off with her. She ran to the restroom and Jo followed.

"Wash your face too!"

"Kay!"

Jane wondered why this came easy to her at times. Taking care of someone else. Sure, she's a cop and she's trained to protect. To act and not think of herself. _But half the time I can hardly take care of myself._ She chuckled. _Then why does this feel so natural?_

Elizabeth reappeared with a smile on her face and more giggles to her step. Jo Friday never leaving her side.

"are we gonna eat on the couch and watch more movies?"

"You bet! What do you wanna watch this time?"

"Snow White?"

Jane walked to the couch and Elizabeth followed along, She placed the plates on the coffee table and went to look through her movie collection.

"Don't got it, Liz. How about…..hmmmm" She picked up her choice and smirked at Lizard.

"I LOVE THE LITTLE MERMAID!"

"Me too! but if you EVER tell anyone I said that I will forever deny it!"

"Lip's sealed" She locked her lips and threw away the key.

"Okay, giggles. Let's do this"

Jane inserted the movie and pressed play.

_-/-_

_So easy_ .She thought as she watched the little girl stuff her face with grilled cheese and sip on the straw of her soda can. _Probably not a good idea to be giving her soda at this time though, Maura would hate it_. She sighed. No matter how hard she tried to distract herself with this little girl, thoughts of Maura consumed her mind. She worried for her. Wondered how Maura was feeling. How her ankle was healing. She missed her.

"It's kind of sad"

"What is Lizard?"

"The story"

"Huh?"

"Ariel wants to be with him but she can't, so she does everything she can and turns herself human and now that she can finally have him she can't speak so she can't tell him how cute she thinks he is"

Jane chuckled.

"She loves him but she can't say it and I think that's so sad"

"It is, you're right"

Elizabeth sighed.

"You okay, giggles?"

"I guess"

"What is it?"

"I'm just feeling this thing and I don't know what it is"

"Explain it to me"

"It feels scary…like i'm waiting for something bad to happen"

"I know the feeling"

"You do?"

"Yes, and I am sorry you feel like that. Do you know what this 'bad' thing is?"

"No, not really"

"You're safe Lizard. Okay?"

"Kay" came the whisper. Elizabeth snuggled closer to Jane and rested her head on the detectives lap.

Jane stroke her hair.

"Will you sing me a song before bed?"

Jane laughed. A loud laugh that shook her shoulders and shook the little head resting on her lap.

"I don't sing, Lizard"

"You sang in the car, remember?"

"That was different"

"No it wasn't"

"It was Liz- there was music and it was loud and you could barely hear me"

"That doesn't matter"

"No"

"Please" Liz- pouted

"Elizabeth"

"I miss Maura. _She_ would sing to me"

"No she wouldn't"

"Yes, she would"

"You are the most stubborn-demanding, seven year old I have ever met!"

Lizard looked up at Jane with sad eyes- pleading sad eyes.

"Really? don't look at me like that"

Lizard tried hard not to smirk and instead pouted at the detective giving her the most saddening puppy eyes she could ever deliver.

"Okay! fine! i'll….try. Come on- let's get ready for bed"

-/-

The heaviness in her chest did not compare to the heaviness in her eyes. They were dry and almost lifeless due to exhaustion. She laid still in bed looking out of the window in her bedroom, the curtains were open and she could see the spilling of rain. She inhaled and she could almost smell their scent, _cold..fresh. _The window was stained with drizzled water from above and she watched it roll down. She created a game, to see which droplet would outrun the other. which ones were faster, which ones were slower and which ones would dissipate before they could even land.

Restless, she shifted in bed and brought her attention to the ceiling. Listening to the rain. She closed her eyes and began to shake her foot, rocking it back and forth in attempt to lull herself to sleep. _back and forth. back and forth._ _drip . drip._ It wasn't working, so she brought her attention back to her window, back to the falling rain and began to count every trickle of the coming rain.

❡_one drop_

_two drops_

_three drops_

_four_

_five drops_

_six drops_

_seven drops_

_more_

_eight drops_

_nine drops_

_ten drops_

_eleven_

_counting down the falling drops coming from the heavens. _❡

The winds were picking up and the branches in the trees sung out their harmonies along with the melody of the whistling gushing air. Maura closed her eyes and hummed along rocking herself _back and forth_ until she drifted off to sleep.

-/-

The moonlight cast a special glow, almost strong enough to radiate warmth in the room. Underneath the sheets lay Jane facing a little girl who was facing her right back, tired blue eyes piercing through brown ones. Elizabeth scooted closer to Jane, invading her personal space. She could feel Jane's breath on her nose. It was warm and it smelled like toothpaste, She wiggled her eyebrows and smiled at the detective.

❡_I remember tears streaming down your face when i said ' ill never let you go'_

_when all those shadows almost killed your light._

**Jane moved to rest on her back looking up at the ceiling. She closed her eyes. Elizabeth looked at her, smiled and proceeded to do the same.**

❡_I remember you said ' don't leave me here alone'_

_but all that's dead and gone and passed tonight._

**Elizabeth reached out to hold Jane's hand and entwined their fingers. She started to rub slow circles on the detective's scar. And she then heard Jane continue:**

❡_Just close your eyes, the sun is going down_

_you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now_

**Jane let go of Elizabeth's hand and tugged at the little girl, bringing her little head to rest at her chest.**

❡_come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound._

**Jane maneuvered to be lying on her side, having elizabeth scooped up, with an arm wrapped around the little girl holding her protectively .**

❡_don't you dare look out your window darling everything's on fire_

_the war outside your door keeps raging on_

**Liz nuzzled her nose into the detective's neck and breathed in the now familiar scent. She smiled as she felt smoothing circles being rubbed at her little scarred back.**

❡_hold on to this lullaby_

_even when the music's gone._

_gone._

**The small breath she felt on her neck tickled her and she smiled, looking down at the little girl who was smiling right back into her skin.**

❡_Just close your eyes, the sun is going down_

_you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now_

❡_come morning light._

**she kissed the little girls closed eyes and whispered.**

❡_you and i'll be _

_safe…and….sound._

**She hummed out the melody into the little girls ear and watched as she drifted off to sleep.**

❡_oohhhh. ohhhhh._

_laa laaa_

_ohhhh ohhhh_

❡_laaa laaa_

_-/-_

The phone rang at 4:56 am. It buzzed and buzzed and it went to voicemail. The phone rang again at 5:03 am, it buzzed and buzzed and she shifted in bed. The phone rang a third time.

"Rizzoli"

"We got him, Jane"

"What? got who?"

"He just waltzed in to the precinct, hammered and started confessing shit. I thought you'd wanna be here for this"

"alright, um..i'll be there in a few"

She sat up in the bed and held her head in her hands. She made circles with her fingers at her temples attempting to massage the ache that was beginning to form there. She silently prayed it wasn't the start of a migraine. She got up and went to the bathroom blindly stepping in to the darkness, not turning on the lights in order to keep her headache at bay. She did her business, flushed, washed her hands and splashed some cold water to her face. She shivered, it felt cold. Her skin was hot and for a second she almost worried about it. She stepped out of the bathroom. and reached for her phone again. She debated on who to call. She didn't want to wake Maura. The doctor wasn't due in to work for another 2, 3 hours or so, Jane wasn't sure.

The phone rang only once.

"It's 5 fucking am, Jane"

"Be nice, little brother"

"What's up?"

"I need you to watch Liz for me"

"There better be coffee for me when I get there"

"Where are your manners?"

"Where are yours, sis?"

"Please Frankie! and hurry the hell up will ya?"

"Be right there, I was serious about the coffee"

"Yeah yeah"

Hanging up the phone she hurried to get dressed. Making a mental note to do some laundry. She fished around the drawers blindly, her fingers feeling the textures of fabrics. She grabbed whatever first bra she found and quickly discarded of the shirt she was wearing and put on the bra. She fumbled some more in the drawer and pulled out what looked like a white v neck. She brought it up to her nose for a quick sniff. _clean enough._ She threw it on and grabbed some black slacks that were hanging on a chair by her closet door, put on her belt, clipped her gun and badge, and threw on her black blazer. She gave a sigh as she rushed towards the kitchen to make some coffee. As she was making the coffee she heard a little whimper coming from the bedroom. She silently walked to the door attempting to tie her hair up in a pony tail. She looked in and she could see a little girl in distress. Elizabeth whimpered again, and Jane knew.

Jane walked over to Liz and gently hovered over the little girl.

"shhh Liz, you're okay"

whimpers and mumbles came out of the little girl. Jane squinted and tried to listen in to the words coming out of the damsel in distress but she couldn't put them together. They were mumbled and smothered. She whimpered again.

"Lizard, honey. It's just a dream baby. Open your eyes. It's me. It's Jane"

Jane brushed Elizabeth's hair with her fingertips and continued to whisper ;

"C'mon, love. Wake up for me"

Elizabeth squirmed.

"That's it. Can you open your eyes for me? Look at me Liz"

Elizabeth cried opening her little eyes.

"There we go, it's okay. You're okay"

Elizabeth sat up in bed and covered her little face with her hands.

Jane hugged her and kissed her hair.

"It's over. You're safe"

"I'm scared"

"I know baby, but there's nothing to be afraid of okay? And I got good news"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Frost just called. They got the bad guy, and imma go make sure they put him away"

"Right now?" whimpered Elizabeth

"Yup! But don't worry. You have Jo. And my brother Frankie is coming over to keep an eye on you for just a little while. He's a cop and he catches bad guys just like me, so you have nothing to worry about"

She smiled at Jane and Jane smiled back and then there was a knock on the door.

"I wonder who THAT could be!" chuckled Jane

Jane went to open the door and Elizabeth followed along.

-/-

"His name is Ryan Jeffrey. He's Whitney's brother" Stated Frost

"We got him on lock up, Jane" Korsak handed Jane the remote.

"You couldn't wait for me to get here to question him?"

"We called, three times"

"Let me look at the the tape one more time"

They hovered around looking at the drunken confessions. Something didn't seem right to her. _This confession is too rehearsed._

"He didn't bat an eyelash"

"You're right" agreed Korsak. "Y'think he's fakin'?"

"No- I mean, yes. I don't know" She paced again "But he fits the description Elizabeth gave us, Blonde hair blue eyes- he's even got that damn tat"

"He's the owner of the blue truck, He's our guy Jane. He killed them"

"Them?"

"Yeah, watch"

They continued to hover, watching the video, where a drunk Ryan Jeffrey gave a thought out confession of both murders. Whitney and Elliot Jeffreys.

_**"Bitch ruined my life, she deserved to die and her god dammed son too, good for nothing"**_

_**"What did the little boy have to do with anything?" Asked a detective Korsak.**_

_**"He ruined my plans. My stupid dyke sister and her dumbs kids took Karen from me."**_

_**"Your plans?"**_

_**"That's what I said, officer. Did I stutter?"**_

_**"It's Detective"**_

_**"Karen was the love of my life, till my sis and her kids got in the way. So I got rid of 'em. I was pissed at Karen for not picking' me y'know?"**_

_**"So you set her up?"**_

_**"She should have chosen me"**_

Jane was pissed. She shook her head. This couldn't be happening. Karen is the devil. She does not get to walk out. She does not get to go free and keep terrorizing Elizabeth not on her watch.

"He's lying"

"He confessed Jane, to both murders in explicit detail on how he did it. I mean, only things the killer could know"

"No. They both did this. They planned this"

"There's no way to prove that, Jane"

"Fuck!"

"Karen walks first thing in the morning"

"It IS morning, Korsak!"

"She walks-" He looked at the clock it was now around 6:30 am "In about 2 hours, Jane"

-/-

**The next chapter is coming at ya! What's gonna happen with Liz and Karen?**

**Is Jane gonna step up with Maura? Is Maura doing okay? We'll find out!**

**the song Jane sang is Taylor swift Safe and Sound. **

**I thought it went with the story. **

**The one Maura sang I made up**

**don't forget to Review for faster updates!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Is anyone still reading this?**

**Well, like I said- review for faster updates.**

**This is me still trying for ya'll. Hope you like this chapter.**

**Characters are not mine-yadayada.**

**Thanks to everyone who DID review. This chapter is for you.**

**&Thanks to the Lucas to my Peyton who helped me with this- You know who you are ;)**

* * *

><p>There were no birds chirping outside. No rays of sunlight peeking through her window. No warmth laying next to her. It was just her, and the whispers of the wind waking her up. Reminding her of the world outside, that she has yet to face. The dread of that thought began to crawl its way inside of her, she groaned into her pillow before forcing herself to get up. She thought of all the death that awaits her assistance. She thought of the faces on her table as she looked at her own in her bathroom mirror, she began to take off her clothes. Looking at her naked form in the mirror, she began to imagine herself laying upon an autopsy table nude and exposed. The most vulnerable a person could ever be. She imagined Jane hovering over her on that very table holding her dead heart in her bare hands. <em>My heart is yours, to do with as you please.<em> Maura closed her eyes and shook the thoughts away. She's had love in her life before. But she's never had someone like Jane Rizzoli. She brought her hand up to her chest in some sort of poor attempt to ease the ache. She felt as if she was going insane. _It's as if I can feel my heart deteriorate and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it._ Her heart felt swollen and bruised. She felt as though the pieces were slowly tumbling out of her piercing through the vessels and ripping at the seams of her own skin. Her own heart not being able to handle the immensity that is Jane. She went about her shower as careful and fast as possible.

She dressed in red because she noticed how Jane's gaze always lingered longer when she wore this color. She wore her favorite Manolo black pump heels. And her black blazer. Her make up done lightly and topped off with a perfect shade of red lip-stick to go with her dress. She looked in the mirror and perfected her performance of the day: her smile. She stood tall. And ran her fingers through her silky perfect wavy hair, and smiled.

"Hello Jane" She practiced.

And smiled again.

She shook her head and sighed.

"Oh! Jane, Its nice to see you" She smiled wider.

she pursed her lips and waited a beat and smiled again.

"Good Morning, Jane" She smiled tighter

she laughed at herself. _This is pathetic._

She gave in and headed to her kitchen, She started the coffee and took out some strawberries and instantly thought of Elizabeth. A _real_ smile reached her lips. She has grown so fond of the little girl, and watching Jane take care of her? It warmed her heart. She fed Bass and started to pour herself a cup of coffee.

Maura reached into her cabinets and looked around for something. She stopped. _Where is it?_ and looked again. She sighed. Her heart was now beating a little harder. _I threw them all out last night. _ She took a sip of her coffee and stood in her kitchen contemplating her next move. She could call Dr. Lynn and get another prescription. But she didn't NEED the medicine. She was fine without it. Nothing a good dose of caffeine wouldn't cure. Her hands trembled. She was so used to being in control of everything. And all these feelings were leaving her frantic. Every step she took she found it harder to breathe. She sat at the stool in her kitchen island when Angela walked in.

"Oh good! You're still here"

This was the start of her performance.

She smiled.

"Yes, I am! Good Morning"

"Good Morning, honey. I thought since you haven't left for work yet i'd come over and make you breakfast"

"I would love some bunny pancakes!" She smiled brighter

"Coming right up!"

-/-

The TV was on but no one was watching. The pot of coffee was nearly finished. Elizabeth was dressed up and ready to go. The day was gloomy. The sun forgetting to shed some light. The clouds lingered in the air, and the wind swayed between branches and scratched at the windows begging to join the livelihood in Boston homes.

"Can I have some coffee too?" asked the little girl sitting at the stool in the kitchen island.

"No way, kiddo!"

"Oh c'mon! I thought you were cool"

"Hey! take that back! I'm cool as a cucumber" Smirked Frankie Rizzoli

She giggled and sipped on her milk.

"Can we go see Jane now?"

"Soon- finish your breakfast"

-/-

She broke a heel. Ankle finally healed enough and she breaks a darn heel. She was upset. And she limped, one shoe in hand. She entered the precinct in a huff. She gave a nod to the security up front and she went to the elevators where an officer too, waited.

"Good Morning" Greeted a brunette in uniform. Or was it a redhead? She couldn't tell. _Those could be red highlights, that go great with her skin tone. She has beautiful facial bone structure, much like Jane's._

"Good Morning" She smiled back.

"Danielle Luna"

"Doctor Maura Isles, Nice to meet you Officer Luna"

"Likewise Doctor Isles, Bad day already huh?" Asked the officer looking at the shoe at hand.

"Lately I've just had terrible luck" Pouted the doctor.

"Tell me about it, Some crazy taxi driver ran into me on the way here"

"Oh dear, are you alright?" sympathized Maura

"Oh no no!" she chuckled "Not ME me, Me as in my car"

"Oh, well. That's a relief! Are you hurt?"

"A bit of a headache, but i'm fine….which I guess is good luck. But it still sucks"

"It does" Agreed the Doctor as her elevator arrived.

"It was nice meeting you again"

"You too, Doctor"

and they parted ways.

-/-

She tried to remember the last time she felt anything but stress. She was completely overwhelmed. This case has taken everything out of her. She was exhausted and preoccupied. CPS was granting custody of Elizabeth to Karen Jeffrey. Karen had lied and said that it had been Whitney Jeffrey who had mistreated the children and it is why she had attempted to take Elliot away from her. _It makes no sense, what about Elizabeth? _Everything was tumbling down, and she had promised this little girl her safety and she was about to let her down.

Jane sat at her desk with her head in her hands, her brain rummaging through every possible way she could keep this from happening. And there was only one thing she could think of. _Trial. _Elizabeth would have to go to court and protest against her mother. The jury would have to take away custody. _This isn't something a seven year old should have to do. _She thought. _And in the mean time? Karen gets to walk away with Elizabeth? She'll only hurt her again. _No, she wasn't going to let this happen.

"Jane?"

_No one is going to lay another hand on this poor girl again._

"Jane!"

_"_What!" she barked

"Someone's here to see you"

Jane raised her head to see Glenda Charles walking in the office with Karen Jeffrey strutting in behind her.

"NO" said Jane standing up and facing Glenda.

"SHE is not taking Elizabeth"

"Detective Rizzoli, that is not up to you, the child is now in care of CPS and it is up to us to decide whether Karen Jeffrey is a fit enough parent for Elizabeth, now please, where is the child?"

"Fit enough?" repeated Rizzoli "Are you kidding me! She beats the hell out of her children! She killed her last one!" She turned to face Karen "Don't think I don't know what you're up to! and there is no way in hell you will lay another hand on Elizabeth!"

"Detective Rizzoli!" yelled Glenda "This is not up to you to decide! You were solely temporary care for Elizabeth, you were and are not in any way a licensed foster parent"

"She's not"- said a voice entering the glass doors. "But I am"

Maura appeared behind a Karen Jeffrey and made her way to stand next to Jane and handed Glenda her papers.

"As the Chief Medical Examiner and member of the Professionals for Under Privileged Kids of Excellence committee, I have registered and filed for foster parent rights, and have been accepted with high credentials"

"No!" yelled Karen "She is _my_ baby and she comes home to me!"

"She cannot go home to you since you are still under investigation, isn't that right Detective Rizzoli?" said Maura, breaking in to a small sweat.

"That's right" Said Jane placing her hand on Maura's back. "It is now NOT up to CPS but it will be up to the Jury to decide whether Karen gets custody of Elizabeth"

"This is ridiculous, my own seven year old daughter cannot take me to court!"

"She can, and she will. Since CPS" growled Jane looking at Glenda "Is not doing their damn job"

"So I now have full custody of Elizabeth" Smiled Maura looking at Glenda.

"For now" stated Karen angrily.

Glenda reviewed the papers in her hand and looked up to Detective Rizzoli and Korsak who was now standing behind Jane.

"Very well, We shall see you in court detective"

-/-

"Jane! Jane! Jane!" Yelled the little girl running towards Jane's desk.

"Hey Lizard!" said the detective as she watched Elizabeth crawl on to her lap.

Elizabeth gave her a huge hug wrapping her arms around the detectives neck. Jane hugged her back just as tightly.

"I missed you, Jane!"

"I missed you too, Kiddo. How was your morning? Did Frankie take good care of you?" Asked Jane with a smirk on her face.

"Hey! have some faith in me will ya?" Pouted Frankie "I was great! wasn't I Lizard?"

"Yeah! He gave me coffee!"

"WHAT?" exclaimed Jane

"Shhhh" whispered Frankie "That was suppose to be our secret!"

"Whoops" Giggled the little girl

"How about we go say hi to Dr. Isles?" asked Jane

"Yeah!" exclaimed Liz- jumping off Jane's lap.

-/-

Maura had changed her shoes and was now wearing some comfy crocks she kept stored in her office. She was hovering over a dead body now,_ I never understood how someone could take their own life_. She thought to herself as she finished stitching up a Y incision of a suicide patient. But now? she felt some sort of comfort. She looked down at the petite woman lying on her table _What made you do this?_ _Was your life so difficult for you that you felt this was your only way out? your only chance at peace? _ She sighed and there was a knock on her door. She looked up, removing her gloves and goggles.

Maura smiled.

"Officer Luna! Hello, please come in"

"Doctor Isles" smiled the Officer wincing as she walked in

"Are you okay?"

"It's bright in here" she said looking away from the bright lights and closing her eyes.

"Is it your head?"

"It's killing me, Doc"

Maura sympathized with Officer Luna and she saw that the officer had been clutching at her hand.

"Is your hand okay?"

"Just a small cut, I was wondering if you had anything. The sucker won't stop bleeding" Said Officer Luna showing Maura her left hand.

"Let me see" said Maura leading the Officer to the couch in her office

Officer Danielle Luna stuck out her hand and Maura placed it in her lap sitting next to Danielle.

"Ohh, You need stitches Officer" said Maura inspecting the small cut on the officer's left palm.

"Call me Dani"

"Alright, Dani. Only about three or four butterfly stitches. I can do them if you'd like"

"Are you sure it needs stitches? I mean its a tiny cut"

"Are you questioning my professional opinion, Officer?" smirked Maura.

"What! no no, I don't mean to…I just" Stuttered Danielle "I just hate needles" she gave a shy laugh.

Maura chuckled and caressed the Officers hand with her own in attempt to soothe her.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, Dani. It'll be over before you know it" She smiled.

Dani sighed and smiled back.

"Alright, I trust you Doc"

"Maura, please"

"Okay, Maura"

-/-

There was a hint of anxiety growing inside the little girl, She was _waiting for something bad to happen._ She knew her time was running out and soon enough it would all be over. She would be given away, to God knows who in God knows where. She tried to focus on the _now _. On the warm hand holding hers. On the comfort it brought and the feeling of safety that overwhelmed her, it gave her a skip in each step, a smile on her face and a giggle in her mouth that was chewing on green watermelon bubble gum and blowing bubbles bigger than the detective that had taught her how. The elevator ride was filled with laughter and popping bubbles.

"Jane!" She laughed. "Stop that! That's cheating!" She swatted the hand away.

Jane blew a bubble and smirked at the little girl.

Elizabeth attempted another bubble but Jane was quick to pop it before it could grow any bigger.

"Jaannnee!' Laughed Lizard.

The elevator door opened and the little girl skipped out and on to the morgue in excitement.

She ran until she spotted the Doctor.

"Maura!" She called out in anticipation

She found the Medical Examiner in her office on the couch, holding hands with another pretty lady who was dressed in uniform, a startled Maura shook in the embrace and quickly let go of the Officer's hand. She departed of the latex gloves and extended her hands to the little girl.

"Hey beautiful" Smiled the Doctor.

Elizabeth didn't miss a beat and quickly ran into her arms and gave her the biggest hug she could possibly manage.

"I missed you" whispered the little girl climbing on to the doctors lap.

"Me too, sweetheart" said Maura cupping the little girls face and kissing her forehead.

There was a knock on the door.

"Lizard, what did I say about running from me?" said a breathless detective.

"Sorry, Jane"

Jane smiled at Maura and the doctor quickly diverted her gaze and brought it to the Officer who was still, in awe sitting next to her.

"Oh! where are my manners?" chuckled Maura "Elizabeth, this is Officer Danielle Luna. Danielle, this is Elizabeth"

"Hi" said the Officer extending her right hand "You can call me Dani"

The little girl smiled and shook the Officer's hand "You can call me, Lizard" giggled Elizabeth.

"And that's Jane!" she continued. "She catches bad guys like batman"

Jane laughed and awkwardly waved at the Officer sitting next to her woman _my woman? _"Uh, yeah…Hi. You're new around here right?"

"Yup!" Chuckled the Officer "Second day and i'm already all stitched up" She said raising her left hand in order for Jane to see

"Well, i'm sure Doctor Isles here took great care of you" said Jane smiling at Maura.

Maura again avoided the Detective's gaze.

"She did, really. Thank you Maura."

"Anytime, Danielle. Leave those in for the next 3 to 4 days please and try not to get them wet, I know that's almost impossible, seeing as you are left handed and one must wash our hands often. But try to keep the bandages over the stitches as dry as you possibly can, and come see me for the removal"

"Will do, Doc. How can I repay you? Dinner?" Smirked the Officer.

Maura chuckled nervously looking up at Jane and back to Dani.

"That's very sweet, Danielle but not at all necessary, really."

"Nonsense" Said the officer, she took a pen out of her pocket, grabbed Maura's hand and started to write her number down "Let me treat you to a night out. I know this amazing Latin place over on Lamant St. That I think you'll love. Good food, good music. My treat, what do you say, i'll pick you up at 8?"

"I couldn't, I have Elizabeth to care for now and-" Maura looked at Jane

"OH" Danielle looked at Maura then at Jane and then back at Maura "Oh, i'm so sorry…I didn't know you two were- I should have seen it" She laughed looking at Liz "I'm sorry, Doctor Isles"

"Oh, no no" Smiled Maura sadly "We are not- I mean…we're just friends" She said looking at Jane. "Isn't that right, Detective Rizzoli?"

"Right" Spoke Jane "You should go Maur', you deserve a night out, I'll take Liz tonight"

"I..I..um" Maura looked at Jane who had a soft smile on her face that did not reach her eyes. "Are you sure?" She whispered to Jane.

Jane simply nodded and smiled bigger

_Has she been practicing too? _ thought Maura _Or does she simply not care?_

_"_Well then, a night out it is" Said Maura smiling at Officer Luna.

"Can't wait" said Danielle getting up and walking to the door "8 o'clock?"

"I'll text you me address" Smiled Maura.

"Good meeting you, Lizard" Smiled Danielle "You too, Detective"

"Bye!" Yelled Lizard

The room had become surprisingly warm, _Are the walls closing in? _there was no room to breathe. Maura let out a breath she was not aware she had been holding.

"Soooo" said the Detective walking towards Maura and Liz who was still sitting on her lap.

"So?" asked Maura.

"This feels weird" whispered Lizard.

Jane laughed and sat next to Maura.

"Should we tell her now?" asked Jane

Maura smiled at Lizard and nodded.

"Okay, tell her" said Jane

"Me?" asked Maura

"Tell me what?" asked Lizard.

"We'll tell her together" said Jane

"Tell me what!" asked the curious little girl.

"Well, E_lizard_beth" started Maura "We have some good news….and then some…well, not so good news"

"Good news; Maura is now your foster parent" smiled Jane.

Elizabeth looked confused.

"What does that mean?"

"It means, I have been granted parental rights to you"

"You're my new mommy?"

Maura smiled "Something like that, yes. It's a lot more complicated"

"But there's more Liz" stated the detective. "Karen, your mommy?"

"uhu" said Lizard clutching a bit tighter to the doctor.

"She's not in jail anymore, and she's asking for you"

"Why is she not put away anymore?"

"It's complicated, Elizabeth" Said Maura. "And, Karen is asking for her _daughter_ back"

"No" whispered Liz

"I know, Liz. And i'm gonna do everything I can to keep her away from you, do you hear me? She won't hurt you. But i'm going to need your help" said Jane

"Why?"

"Because we need proof that Karen was hurting you, that way she won't be allowed near you" Jane took Elizabeth from Maura's embrace and sat her between them on the couch.

"You and I, are gonna go to court and testify against Karen so that she won't _ever_ hurt you again" Jane reassured the little girl

"Testify?" asked Liz

"It won't be easy, Liz" Said Jane "You're going to have to face a judge, a jury and your mother and tell them all the bad things that were done to you"

Elizabeth stood quiet, her little face gone pale, she trembled slightly with tears in her eyes.

Jane saw the hint of green pigmentation forming in the little girls face and she darted off the ouch in reach for the waste basket and hurriedly brought it to Liz's face and watched as the little girl retched her stomach contents. Maura held her hair back and Jane rubbed circles at her back.

"Shhh, baby. It's okay" soothed Jane.

Maura watched Jane in admiration, and for once she let herself look and be looked at. And what she saw in Jane's eyes took her breath away once again. The deep brown eyes mesmerized her and she couldn't look away, She found love, pain and fear in them. And she wanted to dive in and swim around in her gaze, get lost in her love. She wanted everything that was Jane Rizzoli. She wanted the pain and she wanted the fear. But most importantly she wanted this part of Jane. The love, the vulnerability and the care. The care she has for this little girl.

"You're okay, Liz" whispered Jane "You're gonna be okay"

-/-

"I'm sorry" whispered Elizabeth, little trembling hands reached to grab the cup of water that Maura was handing her, she took slow sips.

"Don't be" smiled Jane.

"I'm just so scared Jane" she breathed "I mean what if-"

"Elizabeth"- Maura said while beginning to twist and braid Liz's hair. "Sentences that begin with 'What if' are a waste of time. We don't know what will happen and I understand how the 'not knowing' can frighten you. But we-" she said looking over at Jane and back to Elizabeth "_We_ are _not_ going to let anything happen to you. No one is going to hurt you. You are safe" she kissed Liz's hair and finished her braid. "Much better" she smiled.

"You okay, Lizard? Feeling better?" asked Jane.

"Yes" Smiled the little girl finishing her water.

"Alright" said Maura getting up and heading over to her desk "I am almost done with this report- I'll be ready to go soon"

"Really?" asked Jane

"Yes, I work fast" smirked Maura "And I am the _Chief _Medical Examiner so I have asked Dr. Yoshima to take care of everything else for today."

"Oh" said Jane.

"So, I have a half day, and I thought E_lizard_beth and I could go shopping!"

"I hate shopping" whispered Liz bringing the cup up to her face.

"Ha ha" Sung Jane mocking Maura.

Maura gave Jane a sad look and Jane immediately gave her an apologetic look in return.

"What do you mean you _hate_ shopping?" asked Jane in a chipper tone "Isn't shopping fun?"

"No" whispered Liz looking down at her shoes.

_They must have not taking her shopping often _thought Jane. _ And when they did it probably wasn't such a great experience_ she winced at the thought of Elizabeth and her '_mother' _shopping. The things Elizabeth would want and never get.

"Well! that's because you've never been shopping with Maura before" winked Jane. "You're gonna have a blast, kid. I promise"

"Really?" asked Liz

"Really" answered Maura with a huge smile on her face.

"Can't Jane go?" said Liz looking up at Maura

"I don't know E_lizard_beth, why don't you ask her?"

"Jane?" asked Liz looking at Jane with pleading eyes.

"No! no. I mean- No I can't- I have work. So no"

"Yes you can" said Liz "Frost can just do the work for you"

"What?" laughed Jane "No he can't we're partners, we work together"

"Please Jane" pouted Liz her little bottom lip sticking out and her pleading blue eyes looking into Jane's.

Maura tried to contain her laughter

"Don't look at me like that Elizabeth"

Elizabeth sniffled.

"Liz-"

"Pleeeaasseeeee, Jane!"

"No! and that's final!"

-/-

The Natick Mall was filled with families. Mom's and Dad's pushing strollers, young teenage girls wearing short shorts and boys who couldn't keep their eyes to themselves. There were middled aged women with expensive clothing who looked like a make-up bomb went off in their face, Jane giggled at the thought and took another bite of her corn dog.

"So what store are we going to next?" Asked Elizabeth.

They were standing in front of the directory both Jane and Elizabeth munching on their corn dogs and Maura holding a cup filled with cherry lemonade. She knelt down in front of Liz and tucked a napkin to her shirt and wiped the corner of her mustard stained mouth. Elizabeth smiled in contentment as her lips reached the straw of the drink Maura was holding. She gulped quickly and generously and began to cough. Maura patted her back.

"Slow down, Elizabeth. The drink is yours. No one is taking it from you" Smiled Maura kissing the little girls forehead.

"There is a Gap for kids on the first floor" said Jane pointing to the glassed map.

"ohhhh and a louis vuitton!" motioned Maura her finger tapping the glass.

Jane chuckled and grabbed a hold of Elizabeths hand.

"You done with your corn dog, Liz?"

"Yeah!" said Liz turning her head looking for a trash.

"I got it" said Jane taking the trash from the little girl, wiping her mouth and discarding of the tucked napkin. She rushed over to a trashbin behind them and ran back to Liz, picking her up and spinning her around.

"Oh, Jane!" protested Maura "Don't do that! She just had a meal! She could get sick again"

_She has a point_ thought Jane and put the giggling princess down.

"Let's go" Said Jane grabbing Liz's hand.

They began to walk, Elizabeth took everything in. The sounds of the woman gossiping and the children laughing. She noticed an old man in a walker walking a long side of an old woman. They held hands while they walked, even if it was a little difficult for him, he still held her hand. And he smiled while doing so. _Love_ she thought and she reached over to Maura who was on her right and held her hand as well. Maura squeezed the little girls hand and Elizabeth squeezed back. Liz didn't have to look up at Maura to know she was smiling. She could _feel_ it.

The lights were bright, she thought as they entered the store. _More kids_. With mommies and daddies. She wondered what their home life was like, and if they suffered at all, as she had. She hoped not, and she thought of Elliot. The little boy she had been jealous of, and the same little boy she grew to love and protect. She thought of his cries for help and how at times she wasn't able to do anything about it. She thought of the late dark nights where he would creep out of his own bed and go lay next to his _big sister_ who would protect him from the monsters under his bed and in the closest and in the shadows and corners of his bedroom _they were everywhere_.

Maura had let go of her hand as she searched the racks of clothing. She held on to Jane's a little tighter and looked up at Maura who was holding a pink dress.

"Elizabeth! You would look amazing in this!"

Lizard winced and Jane laughed.

"Okay" said Lizard.

"No, Elizabeth. Not okay. If you don't like it you can say 'No, thank you but that thing is ugly" Said Jane

Elizabeth smiled at her and looked at Maura "Maura, I don't like that."

"Why not?" pouted the Doctor

"Well you see this?" Elizabeth pointed at the taffeta "I don't like it"

"Well okay" said the doctor and put the dress back. "You pick something then"

"Anything?" asked Elizabeth

"Anything" said Jane "Go crazy….well not too crazy" she chuckled.

Elizabeth looked around the store. There were different colors, different variation of clothing and she didn't know where to look first. She spotted a turquoise sweater and began to walk towards it. She passed the toddlers section where she saw a dark blue t-shirt with a dinosaur on it, she smiled and thought of Elliot. _He would love that_. She kept walking and turned back around, where she saw Maura and Jane looking back at her. Maura was still searching for dresses and Elizabeth chuckled. She reached for the sweater and tugged it on, put the hoodie on over her head and zipped the sweater. It was warm and it smelled new. It was soft and the sleeves were a little long on her and it reached up to her knuckles. She dug her hands into the pockets and smiled. She looked up and back over to the direction where Jane and Maura had been, but the hoodie, being a little big on her blocked her vision. She quickly removed the hood from her head, her little eyes searching frantically, she didn't see them. They weren't there anymore. She began to walk back towards where Maura found the pink dress. _They left me_ she thought and she couldn't help but let the tears fall. She kept walking, searching. The tears made her vision blurry and her chest felt heavy. She walked faster now, towards the baby section and _nothing__**, **_She went towards the shoe section and turned her head back around when she didn't find them. She tried to compose herself and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of the sweater. She continued to walk wanting to head back towards the pink dress. _Was that to my left or right?_ she chose right and walked.

"Elizabeth!" she heard someone call behind her.

She turned around and found Jane standing a few feet away from her, She stared and stood frozen and watched the detective rush over to her and take her in her arms.

"God- Liz. You scared me" Whispered Jane hugging the little girl.

Elizabeth stood still, tears flowing silently crying.

"I thought you left me" she whispered. "I looked everywhere" She cried.

"No no, baby. I would never leave you" said Jane, she took out her phone and speed dialed Maura "I found her, by the shoes- yeah yeah she's fine- okay"

"Elizabeth" said Jane cupping the little girls face with both hands "I would NEVER leave you deserted like that, ever. do you hear me? I didn't mean to lose you. We stepped away for a second and you were gone. I was terrified!" Jane's voice broke

"You were?"

"Yes" responded Jane wiping away at Elizabeth's tears with her thumbs.

"Im sorry" whispered the princess.

"No baby, Don't be. C'mere" said Jane taking Liz in another hug.

Maura arrived and instantly dived for the floor behind the little girl.

"Lizard" whispered the doctor.

Elizabeth turned around and lunged towards the doctor.

Maura stood picking up the little girl.

"I'm so glad you're okay" whispered Maura into the little girls ear.

Elizabeth smiled and pulled back from the hug to look at Maura who had tears in her eyes. Elizabeth wiped Maura's tears.

"You were scared too?" asked Elizabeth.

"Yes" gulped Maura

"Don't cry" whispered Liz "I'm sorry"

"Happy tears" said Maura "I'm so glad you're okay"

-/-

Two hours later and they were all exhausted. Elizabeth spread her goodies on the big guest-bed. Two brand new pair of shoes. A new silver sparkly tutu. Three pair of new jeans. A cosy turquoise sweater. Socks. Underwear. Some cute t-shirts. And of course, a beautiful light blue dress. _It brings out those beautiful blue eyes_ Maura had said. It was like Christmas morning and the girl couldn't contain her huge smile.

She watched as Maura came out of the guest bathroom wrapped in a towel. Steam rolling into the bedroom, a sweet scent filled her nostrils, A smell of flowers and soap. Skin wet and drops of water ran down her thighs and legs. Her hair also wrapped in a towel, Maura smiled at Liz.

"What do you like best, Lizard?" asked Maura eyeing all the stuff on the bed and towel drying her hair.

"This sweater is really soft" said Liz clutching at the turquoise sweater she was still wearing.

"I like it" said Maura cocking her head to look over at Liz "It looks wonderful on you"

"You smell good" said Elizabeth

"A shower will do that to you" chuckled Maura still bent forward drying her hair.

Elizabeth giggled and looked over towards the door where she found Jane staring at Maura's figure.

_Busted_

Jane cleared her throat and entered.

Maura quickly stood up straight.

"Hey sorry" said Jane. "I brought you the dresses. I didn't know which one you wanted to wear for tonight"

Jane put two bags down on the bed.

"Hmmm" said Maura taking two dresses out. A black one and a a light pink salmon colored one. She brought each to her body one at a time and stood in front of Elizabeth.

"What do you think, E_lizard_beth? This one-" she said bringing the black one to her body "Or- this one?" and she did the same with the Salmon colored one and made a silly face at Elizabeth.

Elizabeth giggled and thought for a second. "ummmmm" she looked over at Jane who mouthed "BLACK" at her.

"The black one!" cheered Liz.

"Really? Black?" asked Maura.

Liz looked back at Jane who nodded enthusiastically

"Yes!" she said.

"Black it is!" clapped Maura "Just give me a few to get ready, okay?"

Elizabeth nodded and Maura went to her own bedroom to start getting ready for her night out with Danielle Luna.

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><p><strong>Don't forget to review- xoxo<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay FF is being stupid and for some reason there has been trouble with loading this chapter. thanks to those who let me know! sorry to keep ya'll waiting.**

**Way too lazy to proof read & all that jazz so mistakes are my own. As always. My chapters have been really long lately; thank you to those who noticed and appreciate it ;) Thanks for all the love and reviews and attention this story is getting. **

**I do not own Rizzoli and Isles.**

**I do own Dani and Lizard and I will live happily ever after with them.**

**Read on.**

* * *

><p>The scent was intoxicating. It was hard to concentrate on anything else. It pulled you in with a jarring grasp that pinched at your skin leaving it marked and heated. Her head spun and her eyes dilated. The high that the scent left her in was incomprehensible with a capacity so strong she had to take a seat when she felt the back of her knees buckle. She inhaled it one more time with a big breath in, it was so luscious and strong, her vision blurred. She laid down on the bed waiting. Inhaling it once again in small breaths in order to keep her head from spinning. It only became stronger. As she opened her eyes she saw it, she saw <em>her<em>, hovering over with a big smile on her face. Jane sat up on the bed and smiled back at Maura who was standing in front of her, in a beautiful black, low cute mini dress that hugged her ever dip and curve, caressed her torso and beautifully shaped her bum. Maura twirled for Jane in a giggle. The fabric of the dress dancing along as the feet turned and turned.

"What do you think, Jane?"

"Wow" she gulped, swallowing hard. Her throat suddenly so dry, the room suddenly so hot.

"Good wow?"

"Abso-fuckin'lutely" chuckled Jane

Maura beamed and spun once more for the woman.

"I'm so glad you like it Jane, You know this dress reminds me of that little black number you once wore"

"Ah, Yes. But that dress pale's in comparison to you. I mean- uh- this- this dress"

Maura smiled.

"Really, Maura. You look amazing- Dani's not gonna know what hit her" Jane smiled back.

"Are you sure you and Liz will be okay? I don't wanna abandon her on the first night of me officially being her foster parent" Maura said with a small smile

"You're not 'abandoning' her and she knows that. We'll be fine"

"I'm hungry" came the little voice from the doorway

"No way" grumbled Jane

Maura chuckled

"You eat like every hour kid! Where does it all go?" Jane laughed.

Elizabeth shrugged and suggested "Pizza?"

Jane smiled "Anything you want babe" she reached for the phone on the nightstand "Here-" Jane dialed "You order it while I start your bath"

Jane rushed to the guest-bedroom to start Liz's bath while Maura reached for her shoes. Strappy red heels to compliment her lipstick.

"Hi Pizza Place?"

Maura smiled at the little girl who was holding the phone up to her ear with both hands.

"Yeah I want a pizza please. Um- I don't know? a big one- yeah- um- with pepperoni….and sausage…oh and pineapple too! huh? what's a combo? i don't know what '_everything_' is- oh ew no i don't like onions- Yes just those three." Elizabeth covered the phone with her hand and whispered to Maura:

"He asked if I want bread sticks, what are those?"

Maura chuckled

"Say no" answered Maura "But say yes to the chicken wings, Jane loves those- not too spicy though"

Elizabeth smiled and went back to the phone.

"No to the bread sticks but yes to chicken wings, not too spicy though!"

Maura sat on the bed and continued to watch the little girl, she reached out and pulled her to sit on her lap.

"No, yes…what?" said liz into the phone "Oh my name is Lizard. Yes I am old enough to be making this call" Elizabeth growled and handed Maura the phone.

"He wants to talk to you" said Liz

"Hello, ma'am?" asked the guy on the phone.

"Hello, yes."

"Your daughter ordered a large pizza with 3 toppings of pineapple, pepperoni and sausage, including our wings special. I just wanted to make sure i've got the order correct and that indeed there would be an adult consenting this order"

"Yes, That is the order we want" chuckled Maura. "Okay thank you, no problem"

Hanging up the phone, Elizabeth settled on her lap facing Maura. They smiled. Elizabeth cupped Maura's face with both hands.

"You look _really_ pretty" she whispered brushing Maura's hair behind her ear.

"Thank you sweetheart"

"And smell nice too"

Maura smiled and gave the girl a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh!" laughed Maura at the lipstick stained cheek. She used her thumb to clean it off. Elizabeth giggled. "I'm sorry" whispered Maura.

"It's okay. When I get older I'll be able to wear lipstick too?"

"Not that you'll need it, but yes honey"

"I like red, looks nice. I want to look like you"

"But that would be a waste of your own beauty, Lizard"

"Oh" whispered the little girl.

Maura held her closer and wrapped her arms around the little girl and hummed in contentment. She rocked her back and forth. She felt Elizabeth settle her little nose on the crook of her neck. Her warm breath tickled her and she tried not to squirm.

"I love you" whispered Elizabeth snuggling closer to Maura.

Maura's heart sank at those three words. The last thing she wants is to hurt this little girl. The last thing she wants is to hurt herself by loving this little girl. She brought her lips to Elizabeth's hair and kissed her. She closed her eyes and continued to rock her. She didn't want to love this little girl and then watch her leave. She finally understood where Jane was coming from, the fear in letting herself love and be loved in return. She understood how deep the roots are, neither of them, including Elizabeth could ever bear the loss of this love, that is buried so deep within them. She hesitated but she didn't let the fear keep her from letting herself feel. Instead she let herself fall.

"I love you too, E_lizard_beth"

-/-

It was a quarter to 8 and she was beginning to fidget. Looking as lovely as ever, she stood staring at her wine glass, drowning in the musky scent of it, twirling it around and watching the liquid turn to waves, cupping the glass with solely her index finger and thumb. She inhaled the aroma and took a sip, the pulse in her temples throbbed and she closed her eyes inhaling the scent once again. She hummed as she continued to sip, the alcohol coursed through her body igniting a warmth through her veins, melting away the nerves in her chest, she felt her cheeks flush as she finished the glass. She opened her eyes to find a gaze looking back at her. Warm and loving. She smiled back.

Jane stood watching Maura in awe as she sipped at her wine, her succulent lips taking hold of the glass, the tip of her tongue collecting the dark red fluids, Jane internally whimpered at the noise Maura made as the drink ran down her throat and created a heat in her chest. She stood watching, the throb between her legs surprised her and she did what she could to suppress the groan that was beginning to form at the back of her throat. A delicate smile reached her lips as she watched Maura lick her own and look back at her.

"I meant what I said y'know"

"And what is that?" responded Maura putting her glass down.

She watched as Jane stepped in closer. Maura stepped away, her back hitting the edge of the kitchen sink.

"You look amazing"

"Thank you, Jane" Maura turned around and began to rinse out the glass.

Without a conscious thought Jane sneaked in behind her and wrapped her arms around Maura's waist.

"What are you doing, Jane?"

"Holding you" she smirked.

Maura closed her eyes and turned off the water. She used her hands against the sink for support. She breathed in Jane's scent and let the warmth radiate through her body. She shuddered as she felt Jane nuzzle her nose into the back of her neck. With her fingertips Jane brushed away Maura's hair and kissed her shoulder. Maura groaned.

"Why are you doing this?" she practically cried out

"_Urges" _hissed Jane

"I thought you said you couldn't act upon them?" Maura muttered almost breathlessly

"I can't keep them under control anymore" Jane said digging her nails into Maura's torso and kissing at her shoulder, her tongue darting out to taste her flesh. It was warm and salty, fresh and clean. She trailed kisses up to Maura's neck and breathed into her ear "You smell delicious" she groaned and took the earlobe in her mouth.

Maura's knees buckled as a moan escaped her lips, her stomach was in knots, pleasurable knots and her heart pounded so hard and loud in her chest she was having trouble concentrating. As the husky breath in her ear became more ragged, her own started to abandon her. "Jane" she moaned as she arched into the warm body behind her. Her head hitting Jane's chest. She felt a small pinch at her nipple and she writhed. The throbbing between her legs becoming more painful and the dampness becoming more difficult to keep ignoring.

"Tell me to stop" pleaded Jane, Her breath hot and heavy sending chills down Maura's spine. Her hand cupping at the full breast and the other wrapped around the Doctor, holding her steady. She began to thrust her hips into Maura's body, gently slamming her against the sink. She was slow and sensual. Each thrust was deep and lingering. She groaned and continued to nip at any layer of skin she could find.

"God" Maura moaned, bringing her own hand up to meet Jane's. _Urging_ her to squeeze her breasts, needing more, She took control of Jane's hand and lead it to her other breast and applied a harder squeeze. She felt another pinch to her nipple and drew out a satisfying whimper as she felt her nipples harden under Jane's touch. The heat between her legs; unbearable, and the wetness pooling from her core; unbelievable. She could feel the moisture dripping, she flushed with embarrassment and uncomfortably shifted in the embrace attempting to ease the ache. She felt her own juices rub against her inner thighs and she couldn't help but groan as her own scent filled her nostrils.

"Jane" she whispered again as she licked her lips and tasted her own salty tears, she wasn't sure when she started crying and she wasn't sure why. "Jane please" cried Maura her voice pained and full of need.

Jane's hand moved sensually over her breasts and torso, she breathed in Maura's scent

"Tell. Me. To. Stop" Jane pleaded in short breaths "Please, Maura. I can't do this, but I can't stop myself"

The pleasure of Jane's touch was so intense so strong so heavy Maura had to open her eyes to concentrate on the voice in her ear. She whimpered in frustration.

"I don't want you to stop"

"Maura"

"I'm so wet for you, Jane"

The doorbell rang and Jane froze; stopping her movements. Her breathing so heavy her vision blurred. She inhaled the aroma that now filled the room. Her skin was flushed with a hint of sweat. She brought her hands to Maura's hips to steady herself and she pushed herself off the other woman.

With a groan Maura quickly turned around to face Jane and immediately swayed in her stance. Jane rushed to Maura and helped her steady herself, invading her personal space. They stood facing each other resting their foreheads together; panting, trying to regulate their breathing. The doorbell rang again.

Jane didn't miss the tears flowing from Maura. She cupped her face using her thumbs to dry the tears.

"Don't cry" Jane's voice was sweet and filled with concern

Maura sniffled and attempted to compose herself. She let out a deep breath.

"Tell me not to go" she whimpered.

Jane shook her head against Maura.

"Please Jane, tell me you want me too. Tell me not to go"

Jane swallowed hard and trembled, She held Maura once again digging her face at the crook of her neck. She kissed her there before pulling away.

"I can't do that"

Maura let a tear fall before stepping away from the woman in front of her. She wiped at her face, stood tall and looked at Jane.

"You're unbelievable" She said "You cannot do THIS to me and then say THAT. You cannot Jane! How dare you do this to me?"

"Maura-"

"No! You don't get to walk away from this. You don't get to touch me and then tell me you don't want me. You don't get to make me love you and then not let me show you!"

the doorbell rang again.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me" whispered Jane.

Maura shook her head in disbelief and walked away.

"Get the door" she said to Jane "I need to go freshen up"

-/-

"I'm ready to come out now!" cried the little girl.

with a chuckle Maura entered with a towel.

"Are you nice and clean, E_lizard_beth?" she smiled.

"Yes! My hands are wrinkly!" she giggled standing up and extending her arms while Maura wrapped the towel around her.

"Well, the outermost layer of skin tends to swell when it absorbs water" said Maura carrying the little girl out of the bath tub.

The little girl tilted her head in confusion "Huh?"

"Nevermind, E_lizard_beth" she chuckled "Can you dry yourself and get dressed?"

"Yup!" exclaimed the the towel clad princess exiting the bathroom in a skip.

"Careful, Liz. Don't slip" warned Maura.

As soon as the little girl stepped out of the bathroom, Maura closed the door and locked it. Quickly discarding of her dirty underwear. With a cringe she threw it in the waste basket and proceeded to wet a small towel with cold water. She hiked one leg up on the toilet, pulling her dress up, she ran the cold damp towel between her inner thighs cleaning herself. She turned the towel around, once again placing it under the cold running water. She squeezed it tightly wringing out the water from it and brought it between her legs. Brushing her most intimate parts with the cold wet towel, she winced when she stroke her super sensitive clit. She was gentle and thorough, bringing it to her heat, she swiped once and twice and tossed the dirty soaked towel in to the trash.

There was a knock on the door.

"Coming!" she yelled out.

Maura washed her hands and freshened up her make up, dabbed some powder, added another layer of lipstick and quickly reapplied mascara. She smiled at her own reflection and went to open the door. And laughed at what she saw.

"Help" whined the little girl

"Lizard" She chuckled trying hard to keep the laughter from bursting out. "What happened?"

Elizabeth was with her hands in the air struggling to get the sweater on, her hair cut in the zipper.

"I don't know, it won't-" She tugged the sweater again and cried out when it pulled her hair "Ow"

Maura laughed

"Not funny!" said Liz

"Here" said Maura unzipping the sweater and freeing the caught hair strands.

Elizabeth put the sweater on and smiled at Maura. "Thanks"

"No problem" laughed Maura.

Elizabeth gave her a pout.

"You are too cute, E_lizard_beth"

-/-

"Sorry about that, please….come in"

Jane smiled at the woman in front of her, she stepped aside and let her in.

She was dressed in a red dress that best featured the highlights in her hair, topped off with a _badass _black leather jacket, dark make up. Jane would admit, this woman was attractive _hot_ even.

"Thanks Detective" smiled Dani stepping in

"Maura will be a second, would you like something to drink? Beer?"

"No no, i'm good thank you"

"Alright" said Jane leading them to the couch

They sat in awkward silence, both finding an object to stare at. after a couple of minutes Dani attempted to break the ice.

"So, how is Elizabeth?"

"Oh, She's good. She was taking a bath"

"She sure is cute"

"God, yes. She certainly is that. Hard to say no to her" chuckled Jane.

"I bet, how old is she?"

"Seven, she's seven. Very bright seven year old, sometimes I think she's more mature than I am"

Dani laughed. "Children can surprise you"

"They certainly can"

Dani fidgeted, her hands in her lap.

"I'm sorry about before" she said quietly

"About?" asked Jane

"Assuming you and Doctor- I mean, Maura- were dating"

Jane gave her a sad smile "It's okay- That happens a lot"

"Does it?"

"I'm a detective, I'm a woman- people assume shit y'know? start rumors- "dyke detective" nothing I haven't heard before"

"Oh, no- I get it. I've had a few of those name calls"

"You have?"

"All my life, actually." said Dani looking up at the detective

"And how do you deal with that?" asked Jane

"Being bullied?" asked Dani with a chuckle "I don't know- I just kind of got through it- survived it- and eventually came to love myself and accept myself no matter what people and life threw at me"

"That's very courages, Officer" smirked Jane

"Shut up" chuckled Dani "After a while the name calling doesn't even matter anymore"

"Those who mind don't matter" said Jane

"Those who matter don't mind" chimed in Dani.

They both chuckled.-

"I've always love that" whispered Jane.

"Dr. Seuss is very therapeutic and I didn't even have to leave my own couch to get a session" said Dani

"Exactly" agreed Jane "I hate going to the crazy doctor"

"God, tell me about" smiled Dani "I hate that walk of shame you have to do after the session is over"

"And everyone is just like staring at you" said Jane

"Yeah yeah" laughed Dani "And then the walls start closing in on you and you can't breath"

Jane laughed and abruptly stopped and raised her eyebrow at Dani

"Oh" said Dani "No? Just me?"

Jane bursted out in laughter and Dani joined

"Just you, sweetheart" winked Jane.

-/-

"I'm so sorry about that!" Said Maura joining Jane and Dani in the living room.

They stood up as they watched Maura move towards them.

"It's okay" said Dani with a smile "You look great"

With a blush Maura thanked her "As do you, Danielle"

"Why isn't the Pizza here yet?" asked Elizabeth from behind Maura

Jane chuckled "It'll be here soon, fatty"

"I am NOT fat, Jane!" exclaimed Lizard

"You SHOULD be" laughed Jane "I don't know how you do it, Liz- really- whats your secret?"

Elizabeth laughed and ran to Jane, Jumping on her attempting to tackle her to the couch.

Jane grabbed her and flipped her upside down, pummeling her on to the couch.

"Janneee!" squealed the little girl in a fit of laughter.

Maura smiled at how good Jane was with Elizabeth- How Elizabeth's smile grew wider with simply being in the same room as Jane.

Dani didn't miss the longing look Maura had on her face.

"Jane- please" said Maura "You're going to hurt her"

"ONE- TWO -THREE" counted Jane- Elizabeth squirmed underneath her trying to get out of the tight hold Jane had on her.

"FOUR- FIVE" Jane counted in a fit of laughter.

"Use your weight on her" said Dani "And your legs- lock them with hers and push through"

Lizard did what she was told and was able to, for at least a second lift her body off the couch and almost squirm out, but at that second Jane's hold became tighter.

"Jannee!" laughed Elizabeth "This isn't fair!"

Jane's laughter got the best of her and she collapsed on top of Elizabeth.

Elizabeth once again squealed and was quick to squirm out from underneath Jane. She immediately took advantage of Jane lying face down on the couch and sat on top of her, resting her bum on Jane's back.

"Ugh!" groaned Jane and Elizabeth giggled.

-/-

The solar lights were dark lit and dim, they hung above the dance floor like glimpses of the moon, they were a variety of colors, from blue to red, green to purple and yellow. Like colorful stars shining above, radiating through the floor. The candle placed in the middle of their table cast a special engaging glow to Maura's skin, lighting up her face ; it made her hazel-green eyes sparkle making it almost painful to look into them. La Bella Cantina was alive with music, laughter and folks from different ethnicities not shy of their dance moves- it was _captivating_. The music was loud but not too loud, the rhythm was up beat and Maura couldn't help but move her foot according to that beat. She could almost make out the words to the spanish song playing. It spoke of a kiss, and as she looked out on to the dance floor watching the bodies sway. She couldn't help but think- it was like _watching them make love-_ she couldn't look away.

"It's beautiful here" She smiled over at Dani who sat in front of her at a table for two- It was cozy and intimate.

Dani was mesmerized. The candle light shifted and she caught the sparkle in Maura's eye- she shivered.

"I love it here" she breathed "I thought you might too"

"I do"

"Just wait until you try the food" Dani smirked.

"Oh, that good huh?"

"Very"

"Good evening Ladies" interrupted the waiter- "My name is Miguel and I'll be your server for tonight. Can I start you two off with some drinks?"

"What are your house specials for today?" asked Danielle

"Our Copa de Sangria is very popular here- As is our Jugo de Miel which is a very sweet drink that is very popular with most of our lady customers" winked the waiter.

Maura smiled at Dani and gave her a nod, indicating for her to choose for them.

"We'll try the Sangria" Said Dani.

"Coming right up!" Any appetizers to begin with?"

They exchanged a look.

"Chips and Guac?"

With a nod the waiter noted down the appetizer and went to retrieve it.

"Do you come here often?" asked Maura.

"Only twice"

"Are you from Boston?"

"I'm from all over the place" chuckled Dani. "I was born In San Francisco- I fostered around 7 different homes in California until I well, just left and came here"

"Wow, Seven?" Maura was taken aback- she didn't expect to hear this much so soon "Those are many homes for a child"

"They were- but it was my fault really. I wasn't very cooperative. A rebel child if you may" she chuckled and Maura chuckled too

"I bet you gave them hell" smiled Maura.

Dani shrugged-"I fought back, Y'know? Didn't let anyone step all over me"

"That's brave"

"I did what I had to survive"

"That sounds dark, Dani"

"Part of it was, truthfully. But as you can see, its better now"

"I can't imagine having to go through all of that. Being adopted, I always wondered- Growing up I was so curios to what my birth parents were like"

"Oh, Adopted? So you were one of the lucky ones" smiled Dani

"Yes, I was. My parents may have been a little too busy for me at times but I had everything I could have asked for, really. I can't fathom going through seven different homes"

a sad smile reached Dani's lips "Yeah" she fidgeted with her hands "When I was a toddler- I remember wishing to be adopted- Y'know? I craved a mother, someone to hold me and read me bed time stories" she gave a sad laugh "It's pathetic I know- But a little girl could only dream"

Maura reached to grab her hand and gave a light squeeze- "I know exactly how that feels, and it is _not_ pathetic. I had parents and I am lucky. But I always wanted someone to hold me and read me bedtime stories too"

Dani squeezed back "You didn't have that?"

"Like I said, they were very busy. I was alone most of the time."

They shared a smile of empathy and understanding.

"Do you ever think- if you hadn't been adopted….would you still be where you are? would you still be doing this job?"

"Do you ever think the same of yourself- if you had been adopted?" asked Maura.

"Touché" smirked Dani

"I don't know if I believe in Fate or Destiny- or any of that" whispered Maura

"Or soul mates?"

"I don't know honestly- I don't know what to believe in anymore" Maura said with a sad chuckle.

Dani didn't find it funny.

"I think we love many people in our lives. But there is always that _one_ person that you love a little stronger- a little harder- the pull is so magnified you can't help but lean into it" said Dani

Maura laughed again- She's had an emotional evening and she was having trouble controlling her amygdala and lacrimal gland connection. She sniffled.

"I know more about death than I do love" Maura's voice broke.

Dani caressed the skin of her palm and quietly asked "Jane?"

Maura nodded.

"I thoughts so" whispered Dani

"I'm that obvious?"

"I'm a cop, Maura- My goal is to reach Detective. How am I doing so far?" smirked Dani

"Great" chuckled Maura and wiped at tear with her finger.

Dani let go of her hand and handed her a napkin.

"Thanks" chuckled Maura "I'm sorry I'm such a mess"

"Don't apologize. I don't like seeing you upset"

She gave her a smile and took a breath and tried to compose herself and control her emotions.

"I'm fine"

"You're a terrible liar, Maura"

"I know" she chuckled.

"Here you go Ladies" said the waiter placing the drinks down and handing them a basket of chips and guacamole. "Are you ready to order?"

-/-

The food was like nothing she had ever tried before, it was nice to try something new and she was glad she enjoyed it. The plate she ordered went well with her drink and she hummed as she licked the guacamole off her index finger. Dani looked at her and a small smile cracked through her lips. Maura dug back into her plate of Pechuga de Pollo Asada. And a small chuckled escaped Dani.

"What?" said Maura with her mouth full.

"Nothing" said Dani with another small chuckle.

"Liar" said Maura "Do I have Guacamole on my cheek or something?" she grabbed a napkin to clean herself with.

"No i'm just surprised. You were either starving or you have a natural hearty appetite. Do you always eat like this?"

"Eat like what?"

"A lot" said Dani with a smirk.

Maura chuckled. "Yeah, Jane is always giving me grief about stealing her food- I'm sorry"

"No no. Don't be. I like a girl who can eat" she winked.

Maura laughed "Good- because your stuffed grilled tomatoes look delicious" she eyed Dani's plate and then smiled widely at her.

"Please- be my guest" said Dani pushing her plate towards Maura "Here, let me just" She grabbed Maura's fork and placed one of her grilled tomatoes on her plate "There sweetheart, knock yourself out"

Maura licked her lips and smiled at Dani taking a big bite of the tomato "Mmmmm" she hummed and chewed -juices of the tomato spilling out of the corner of her lips. She licked them again and pressed the napkin to her chin and then to her lips. She looked at Dani who was smiling at her.

"Good right?" asked Dani "I told you, the food here is amazing."

"So good" smiled Maura as she continued to eat.

"So, tell me about Jane" smiled Dani

"There is nothing to tell"

"Bullshit" chuckled Dani "How long have you been in love with her? and Why?…seriously tell me why she hasn't snatched you up yet"

Maura gave her a small smile and shook her head. "I have no Idea, Danielle honestly- Everything feels like such a mess. I don't know anything anymore"

"You love her- she loves you. How is that such a big mess?"

"I'm not sure she feels the same way- I mean- God, She drives me crazy- One moment I am convinced she feels the same way and the next…" Her voice trailed off as she grabbed a napkin to dab at her mouth once more.

"The next?" asked a curios Dani

"Like I said, I have no idea- She is the most complex human being I have ever met and I cannot help but be absolutely and completely captivated by her. And yet after all this time; I cannot read her. She is a mystery to me and I think that is part of the longing I have towards her"

Dani smiled

"What?" asked Maura

"Damn, girl. You got it _baaaaad_" smirked Danielle.

Maura only smiled and nodded "I suppose I do since I can't even hide it anymore"

The music had gone from upbeat to a slow tempo, the lovers on the dance floor pressed against each other swayed in unison. They moved slowly with eyes closed letting their feet and hips do the work. The music was consuming and heartfelt and Maura tried to listen in to the lyrics. _Corazon mio._ she heard and watched as the dancers hummed a long. _La vida es desmasiado corta para dejarte ir. Asi me abrazas y me besas en esta noche linda hasta que salga el sol. No me dejes ir. _Maura sipped on her drink and closed her eyes letting the melody move her.

"Heart of mine, life is too short to let you go" Dani translated for Maura. "So hold me and kiss me on this beautiful night until the sun comes up. Don't let me go"

_No me dejes ir amor_

_No me dejes ir_

_No me dejes ir amor_

_No me dejes ir_

The sparkle in her eye was lit in the most passionate way and she couldn't help but let the tear fall. She smiled through the song with only one thing on her mind. One person on her mind. _Jane._

_"_Don't let her go" Advised Dani.

"Do you wanna dance?" asked Maura

-/-

The song was upbeat and thriving. She moved her hips in the most sensual way and the body behind her moved a long with her. Danielle placed her hands on Maura's hips and felt them sway from side to side and in circles. She abruptly tighten her hold on her and turned her around so they were facing each other. With a big _oomph_ Maura let Dani's hands snake around her waist and be pulled closer. Maura's legs accidentally landed between Dani's and she heard a groan arise from the women pressed against her. With a smile Maura pushed away from the woman taking her hand and spinning her around. With a laugh Dani spun and her beautiful red dress twirled around with her. The laughter was infectious and Maura couldn't help but join in as Dani too spun her around and again brought her close with a gentle pull.

"God woman" growled Dani "You got moves"

"You have NO idea, Officer" winked Maura with another sway to her hips.

"Don't tease, Doctor Isles"

"Me? I would never!" Said Maura spinning the Officer around one more time and roughly pulling towards her, with a grunt Dani's body was pressed tightly against hers and Maura moved her hips in a way that could be mistaken as humping.

_She's humping. She's seriously dry humping me_ thought the Officer

Danielle ushered her hand to the back of Maura's neck and brought her lips to Maura's ear- With a sway to her hips she whispered to Maura:

"Someone's on edge tonight"

The breath in her ear sent tingles all over her body,Maura felt her stomach form a knot and she let out a whimper _God, Jane._

"I really am" she whispered pulling back from the embrace. She stopped her movements altogether. "I'm sorry" she said and walked off the dance floor.

-/-

It was close to midnight as they drove through the city of Boston. The night was quiet and the pavement was bright by the reflection of traffic lights. They drove in silence with the windows down. The night was chilly but the soft wind felt nice against her face. She leaned back and looked out the window. She wanted more than anything to feel differently. She has become so weary of the ache in her chest and the rummaging of her brain. Her nights were restless, kept up by the thoughts, by the light never going off in her mind. She took a deep breath and breathed in the night.

"I love nights like these" said Danielle as she clutched at the steering wheel "Nice and quiet"

"I wish I knew quiet" exhaled Maura

"What do you mean?"

"I can't stop thinking"

"About Jane?"

"Mostly"

She took her eyes off the road for a second to glare at Maura.

"Okay, yes. About Jane"

"Go for it" said Dani bringing her vision back to the road

"I tried"

"Try harder. Fight for your woman" she smirked.

Maura chuckled.

"I'm serious, Maura. No one- could ever _keep_ saying no to you. I don't know why she did in the first place- really it makes me want to knock some sense into her- But i am almost positive, that if you keep fighting for her….in the end you will win and get your girl"

"You really think so?"

"Yes, now please honey. Stop pouting. You're killing me here"

"I'm sorry I ruined our night out" pouted Maura

"You could never" said Dani reaching over and placing her hand on Maura's Knee. Maura took Dani's hand in her own and checked at the suture she had given her.

Dani chuckled "Stop that"

"Sorry. Just making sure the stitches were still in place"

"They are, you did a great job"

"Thanks" said Maura "Really, thank you for everything Danielle. It really is nice to be able to talk to someone"

"I agree, it is nice. And Im here if you need to talk. Or if you need a drinking buddy- or a dancing buddy- or hey? a sex buddy"

with a loud gasp and hysterical laughter Maura exclaimed "Danielle!"

Dani joined in on the laughter.

"That is sooo.." Maura laughed.

"So funny!" interrupted Dani "You should have seen the look on your face! Oh my god"

"Shut up!"

Dani only laughed louder

"So inappropriate" Maura blushed

"Yeah? but you're thinking about it now aren't you?" smirked Dani

Maura chuckled.

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><p><strong>Finishing this chapter here or it will go on forever. I'm kind of "eh" about it so let me know what you think?<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**This chapter was by far the hardest to write. & Not only that but my internet connection has not been working properly so sorry for the delay. Hope you like it. let me know what you think.**

**& to those of you who freaked out about Dani and her sex offer. It was a joke. Go buy a sense of humor, or something will ya?**

**but regardless, thanks for the reviews and attention this story is getting.**

**I write this for you. xoxo**

**Oh & right. Rizzles don't belong to me. Nope.**

* * *

><p><em>Something's gotta give, Something's gotta change<em>. She was red with anger. Blue with sadness. She was watching her world spin. She felt so far from it and didn't even know where to start. She hardly recognized herself. She fucked up. She fucked up badly. She tried to focus all of her attention on the little girl. But her mind was on over drive. The moment Maura walked out of the house with someone else her heart ached. A sense of loss. _That's it_ she thought _I lost her_. Her mind was now chaos, she forced her feet to move. She forced herself to stand up.

"Are you almost done with your pizza?"

Elizabeth nodded her response to Jane taking another bite of her pizza.

Jane grabbed her plate and Liz's cup and walked to the kitchen "Want more Juice, Liz?"

"Uhu!"

She put the plate in the sink and froze in place. She shivered at the memory of Maura. She inhaled, hoping to catch Maura's scent again but It was gone. Bracing herself on the sink she took a moment to compose herself. _Maura._ Her own actions shook her, she stood thinking of what she had done. Of how stupid she has been acting. _I'm a fucking coward._ Whenever she is around Maura something goes off inside of her. She can no longer function properly, her heart is putty on the floor in which she herself fumbles over stepping on it and shattering it. She causes herself pain _And i'll only do the same to Maura, i'll only hurt her._

_"_Jane?" called out the little girl.

"um, yeah." she forced herself, once again to move. Poured more juice in the cup for Liz and walked over to the couch.

They had removed the coffee table and made a picnic on the living room floor- Liz laid on the blanket, stomach down supporting herself on her little elbows, chin resting on her palms, she smiled up at Jane reaching for her cup, she sat up.

"Pizza good?" asked Jane

again, Liz nodded and took a big gulp of her drink.

"Slow sips, remember Liz?"

Liz slowed down her drinking and hid behind her cup.

Jane sat on the floor in front of her, reached for Liz's cup and brought it down so she could see Liz's face.

Elizabeth pouted. "Do we have to Jane?" she whispered.

"Yes sweetie, but remember what I told you?"

"I'm safe" stated Liz- her voice soft and frightened.

"You are. And we_ have_ to do this, but you're not alone in it, okay? you have me, you have Maura, you have Frankie, you have Frost and Korsak. We all care about you and we would all do everything and anything to protect you, you're not alone. You hear me?"

"Yes"

"Okay, I know this is going to be hard to say out loud, but we have to try okay?"

"Okay, but can I finish eating first?"

"You want MORE Pizza?" asked Jane teasing Liz

"No, i just wanna finish my juice"

"Okay, i'll clean up. You finish that juice"

While Jane picked up the Pizza box, plates and dirty napkins and went to dispose of everything, Liz sat quietly on the floor taking her time with the cup- Grape juice was her favorite. _Elliot_ hated it. _taste like medicine _ He would say. Elliot's favorite was orange. His favorite color was _blue_. He liked dinosaurs and always said he wanted to be a firefighter or indiana jones when he grew up. _He doesn't get to do that now_ thought Liz. He doesn't get to start soccer like he wanted. He doesn't get to have more Pizza. He doesn't get to wake up early on Saturday morning's to catch their favorite cartoons. He doesn't get to go to school and learn new things and meet new people. He doesn't get to learn how to ride a bicycle, he doesn't get to meet Jo Friday and play with her and get puppy kisses. He doesn't get to watch movies with Jane and he doesn't get to cuddle with Maura and _smell how pretty she smells._ He doesn't get to feel love. He never got love. He'll never be loved.

she sipped at her grape juice one last time no longer being able to taste it, she ran to the kitchen to hand it to Jane.

-/-

They sat cuddled up on the couch, Elizabeth on Jane's lap with a blanket over them. Picture perfect, this is what you call a kodak moment. The love Jane had for this girl was incredibly indescribable, she never thought she would feel like this, No not Jane. Not Detective McBadass who swore would never have children. Nope. But here she was, on this couch, with a beautiful little girl- in awe of her beauty and innocence.

Elizabeth couldn't remember the first time it happened for her. The first time they hurt her. She tried to recall but couldn't. She dug her face into the crook of Jane's neck as the Detective caressed her back.

"How did you get the little scars on your arm, baby?"

"Cigarettes"

"Can you try to explain?" asked Jane sweetly. "How did it happen?"

She kept her little face hidden in Jane's collarbone. She brought her hand to trace at the skin she found there, she drew circles and triangles, she breathed deeply.

"Sometimes" she began hesitantly her voice nearly a whisper cracked with fear "She wouldn't want it anymore and there wasn't a tray so she put it on my arm for it to go off"

Jane winced and held her tighter.

"And sometimes" continued Liz "She was so mad and there wasn't enough to drink so she would yell and throw things and hit me and tell me to roll up my sleeves- and I knew she was going to burn me"

"God, babe" whispered Jane

"And sometimes she'd get mad at Elliot for making a mess" she gulped to hold back tears "He was only a baby" cried Liz "He was only a baby so I told her I made the mess- not Elliot"

"You're the best big sister" whispered Jane.

"I remember one day I got off school early, and usually Mrs. Medlin would take care of Elliot but that day she didn't , I still don't know why- I got home early, and Elliot was home, all alone. He was 3 and he had stayed home all alone." she pulled back to look at Jane who had tears in her eyes.

"And what happened love?"

"Everything was a mess, Jane" she looked down at her hands not being able to hold Jane's gaze "He was crying, it was so hot that day and he pooped his underwear and he got a really bad rash and it hurt him so he was crying really loud, I could hear him from outside- and when I went in I found him in the kitchen he had made a mess of cereal and stuff everywhere"

She was talking so fast she had to stop to take gulps of air to continue.

"I didn't know what to do, Jane- The living room was a mess too- I tried to clean everything up before Mommy Karen got back but it was too much and Elliot just wouldn't be quiet and my head hurt and my chest did too and-"

she gulped again and finally looked up at Jane.

"It's okay baby- take your time, breathe for me" Jane breathed in slowly and out and encouraged Liz to follow her lead.

Elizabeth breathed a long with Jane and rested her head against Jane's chest once again.

"He was scared and hungry and hurt- I tried to clean him up- I tried to clean the house, but it was so much and I was so tired and I fell asleep"

Jane closed her eyes and kissed at Lizards forehead.

"And when I woke up- I heard crying again. She was hitting him. With a belt or something, i'm not sure and I tried to make her stop but she told me to mind my own business so i grabbed the phone and told her that if she didn't stop I would call 911"

"Did you?"

she shook her head into Jane's neck and let the tears fall. She sniffled and hiccuped and Jane held her tighter.

"What happened sweetie?"

"She got mad at me for saying that"

"For saying you'll call the cops?"

Lizard nodded "Yes"

"What else baby?" encouraged Jane. She knew this was hard for the girl but she wanted her to be prepared.

"She said she wanted to see me try and she took the phone away from me and hit me with it"

Jane felt nauseated. She felt like she was sinking into the couch. Drowning, she needed to come up for air.

"She wouldn't stop hitting me with it and there was blood. And she still wouldn't stop" cried Liz. "It hurt so much Jane"

"Shh baby" cooed Jane "Im so sorry Liz. Im so sorry" she reached to grab Lizard's little face with her hands and wiped at her tears with her thumbs. She brought her forehead to rest with Elizabeths and smiled at her. "You're okay now, princess. You are okay and you are safe and you are loved, you hear me?"

Elizabeth nodded her head against Jane's and smiled back.

"I think that's enough for today, okay Lizard?"

"kay Jane" came the response.

Jane covered the little girls entire face with kisses until the little girl was giggling and squirming.

"Jane!" she squealed.

Jane laughed

"Sorry, I got carried away" winked the detective

-/-

"I've never slept in a bed this big before"

Elizabeth laid on her back on the big guest-bedroom mattress. The sheets made of a material _so soft_ and they_ smelled so good_. She squirmed and twisted around in the sheets so every inch of her skin could touch the fabric and revel in the smooth stitching and sweet scent. She sat up to look at Jane who was in a white muscle shirt and black underwear. Her hair wet and dripping from her shower, she ran the towel through her hair in attempt to dry it.

"You haven't?" asked Jane

"Nope" said Liz smiling at Jane who winked at her.

"You know what my favorite part about having a big bed is?" said Jane climbing up on the bed, crawling on her knees to Elizabeth.

"What?" giggled Liz

"This!" She said standing up on the bed and jumping up and down. "C'mon Liz!" she encouraged the little girl to join her.

Jane held Elizabeths hands as they jumped up and down in a fit of laughter and giggles.

"This is fun!" laughed the little princess

Jane hopped off and Lizard continued to jump as Jane put on some boxer shorts "Careful, Liz!" she called from the bathroom.

Jane hung the towel back in her spot and went to use the toilet, she sat with her panties to her knees and her boxers to her ankles, she reached for the toilet paper and flushed. She went to throw the dirty paper in the waste basket when she spotted _it. _ The dirty underwear. She picked it with the tips of her thumb and index finger and threw the dirty toilet paper away. She noticed the stain on the crotch of the underwear. _Fuck_. She thought. _I did that to her_. She threw it away once again, picked up her boxers and undies and pulled them back up, washed her hands, grabbed a comb and rejoined Elizabeth back on the bed.

The little girl was sitting on the bed legs crossed and breathing heavily with a huge smile on her face.

Jane chuckled, combing her hair.

"Tired, liz?"

"Yeah" she panted.

"Good, go brush your teeth please"

"Kay" said Liz climbing off the bed and skipping to the bathroom.

Jane finished combing her hair and climbed on the bed, got under the sheets and waited for Liz. Looking up at the ceiling, she wondered what Maura was doing. If she was having a good time, if she was smiling- if she was laughing. Maura's laugh was her favorite. And the way her eyes sparkled when she did so, and the dimple _god, that dimple._ She was in a reverie- thoughts of Maura. The way she moved, so graceful. The way she spoke. The way her bottom lip slipped out when she pouted. They way her lips tasted against her own. Her hot breath, her whimpers, her moans, the way her breast felt against her palms, the way her nipples hardened under her touch. The way her skin became chilled when she kissed at her neck, that spot behind her ear that made her knees buckle. Jane wondered what else made Maura go weak in the knees. But most importantly she wondered if Maura felt the same way she did. Does she struggle with the emotions as she does? does it eat at her, consume her?

"Jane?" came the little voice.

Jane felt the bed tilt slightly and she quickly wiped at the tears she wasn't aware had fallen.

"Are you okay?" asked the little girl climbing in and quickly making her way under the sheets- next to the the Detective.

No, she wasn't okay. She ached. She hurt. She wanted Maura. And she wanted to ease Elizabeth's pain. She was feeling everything. She wasn't okay.

Jane looked at Elizabeth and gave her the biggest smile she could manage.

"Yes, C'mere- let me hold you for a little while?"

with a huge grin, Lizard made her way to Jane's arms and rested her little head on her chest.

"Are you gonna sing to me again, Jane?"

"No" Jane wrapped her arms around the little girl

"Please?"

"Nope. Its your turn. You sing to me"

With a giggle, Elizabeth cuddled closer to Jane and sung:

_Twinkle, twinkle, little star,_

_How I wonder what you are._

_Up above the world so high,_

_Like a diamond in the sky._

-/-

The warm breath on her neck soothed her, inhale and exhale. She followed along with Elizabeth's breathing pattern and smiled at the slight snoring she heard. She drifted off to a deep sleep. Her mind lost in the dream. A dream in which she herself was gone- out of place- running worried looking for something. A field of flowers. She heard the cries and searched for them. She was frantic her vision blurred. The cries grew louder and there was an echo. Two different cries. One called out her name. She didn't know which way to go. She felt water falling on her face and looked up. The sky was crystal clear. _Where was the water coming from? _She ran again but the cries had stopped. She ran and she didn't know why. Was she running to something? was she running from something? _Why am I running_? She was panting now and she stopped to take a breath when she noticed; The water on her face was coming from her eyes. _Why am I crying?_. She stood looking towards every direction. There was no path, everything covered in weeds and tall dried sunflowers. That's when she saw it- red. A red stain a few feet ahead of her "_Jane?"_ someone called out but she ignored it. She started to walk towards the stain "_Jane?" _ more red. She walked and the red stain moved farther. She walked until she saw what was lying next to that stain. A body. A little body covered in blood. So she ran. She ran to the body. But she knew she was too late. She was too late.

"Jane?" came the whisper

Jane mumbled in her sleep, fighting to wake up.

"It's a bad dream Jane, wake up"

-/-

Maura was lightheaded, as she made her way into the house and into the guest-bedroom to check on Elizabeth she wobbled in her steps. She knew she was tipsy and the knowledge of that elicited giggles inside the woman. She knocked softly before peeking, and the image she saw; alone was enough to sober her up. She found Jane holding Elizabeth, the little girl was snuggled up to the woman's side, her face hidden in Jane's neck. Maura's heart warmed. She smiled at her two favorite girls from the doorway. _So beautiful._ She heard the soft snoring coming from the princess and she giggled to herself. She let herself take in the beauty and revel in the moment of serenity, a part of her was jealous, she wanted to be the one in Jane's arms, she wanted to be the one holding the little princess close, keeping her safe. _I love them_. She smiled to herself until she heard a faint whimper. At first she thought it came from the little girl but as she turned her vision towards her detective she saw the look of discomfort on her face. Her eyebrows furrowed with a glimpse of sweat. Maura hurried to Jane's side. Jane was in distress. Her lips trembled as if she wanted to speak out. Ask for help, or cry. Maura brought her hand to cup Jane's face.

"Jane" she whispered caressing her face.

Jane didn't wake. Her face was hot against Maura's hands.

"Jane" Maura called out again, careful not to be too loud.

Jane's feet began to move. Maura rubbed Jane's arms in order to calm her.

"It's a bad dream Jane, wake up"

Jane whimpered again and her legs began to lightly thrash.

Maura worried it would wake Elizabeth and scare her.

"Jane, please wake up" Maura was now shaking her softly.

Jane whimpered louder.

_She's going to yell_ thought Maura. _what do I do?_

A mumble roared softly from Jane's mouth. She was struggling to form her words. _What is she saying?_

_"N…n..no"_

"Baby, please wake up- It's just a dream" Maura shook her harder.

"_p p please" _Jane mumbled louder, her head moving frantically from side to side, struggling to wake up.

Maura looked to Elizabeth who was still in Jane's arms. _If Jane makes any sudden movements she can hurt Elizabeth._

Maura stepped over to the other side and quickly took Elizabeth in her arms. Elizabeth snored louder and Maura smiled at the little girl. She was glad Elizabeth wasn't a light sleeper. Maura quickly and carefully carried Lizard to her bedroom, threw the covers back and set Elizabeth down on her bed. Maura waited to see if Liz would wake, but when she heard her snore louder and burry her little head deeper into the pillow she quickly tucked her in and gave her a kiss on her cheek. _i love you, princess._

-/-

She entered the guest-bedroom in a hurry. She quickly settled in next to Jane who was in a fetal position. Facing each other Maura scooted closer bringing her forehead to rest against Jane's. She noticed how warm Jane was and how her facial expressions showed fear and agitation. She caressed her cheek with the back of her hand and gave Jane's lips a soft kiss. Jane didn't move. Didn't feel it. Maura became worried. She repositioned Jane to be laying on her back. She scooted closer to Jane, head resting on her hand hovering over her.

"Jane" she whispered.

Jane didn't move- her breathing became shorter and Maura could tell she was still in a deep frantic slumber.

She hovered closer and brought her lips to Jane's and kissed her harder, taking her top lip into her mouth and sucking lightly.

She heard the woman moan underneath her and Maura smiled.

"Wake up" stated Maura no longer in a whisper.

Jane moaned again and Maura kissed her cheek.

"_M..maur-_?" grunted Jane.

"Yes- wake up Jane"

She fluttered her eyes open- half asleep, to a smiling Maura hovered a top of her.

"You were having a bad dream" said Maura.

at that Jane was wide awake and attempted jolt up but Maura kept her from sitting up.

She noticed Elizabeth wasn't in the room and her heart began to pound in her chest

"Maura" she said her voice breaking "Where's Lizard?"

"Shh, its okay Jane" whispered Maura "She's okay- She's fast asleep in my bedroom"

"_Fuck" _ cried Jane bringing her hands to cover her face.

"Talk to me"

Jane couldn't speak- she let the tears come and sobbed into her hands.

"Jane" whispered Maura- her heart breaking at the sight of a distraught Jane.

"everything" whispered Jane.

"Everything what, Jane?"

"is so fucked up" She cried.

"It's going to be okay Jane"

Maura began to run her hands up and down Jane's torso playing with the hem of her shirt, she slid her hand under it and circled Jane's belly button with her index finger. Jane shivered.

"Hands cold?"

"Tickles"

Maura smiled.

"Look at me Jane"

Jane brought her hands down from her face and turned to look at Maura.

Maura retreated her hand from Jane's torso and brought it to cup her face.

"Maura" grunted Jane- her voice deep and husky.

Maura wiped at Jane's tears and kissed the edge of her lips.

"You don't hate me?" asked Jane

"No, quiet the opposite actually"

"Really?"

"So much, Jane"

Jane let out a breath and scooted closer to Maura.

"Maur'?"

"Yes Jane?"

"I love you too, so much"

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><p><strong>is Jane going to let go of the fear and be with Maura? let's hope so. It's about damn time. ;)<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks for all the story alerts this story continues to receive. Let me know what you think. Don't be shy.

Thanks to my elbiff for all her help.

& to Kelsey for her encouragement and daily pushes.

Mistakes are my own cause i'm not a writer and cause i'm not perfect and shizz, also cause im not re-reading this.

I do not own Rizzoli and Isles. Nor will I ever be their owner. *sigh*

Read on.

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><p><em>previously on Blue Distraction;<em>

**Maura retreated her hand from Jane's torso and brought it to cup her face.**

**"Maura" grunted Jane- her voice deep and husky.**

**Maura wiped at Jane's tears and kissed the edge of her lips.**

**"You don't hate me?" asked Jane**

**"No, quiet the opposite actually"**

**"Really?"**

**"So much, Jane"**

**Jane let out a breath and scooted closer to Maura.**

**"Maur'?"**

**"Yes Jane?"**

**"I love you too, so much"**

* * *

><p>"You do?" asked Maura, still hovering over the detective her voice filled with doubt and concern. She has waited so long to hear Jane say this. That she loves her too. She has hoped for it. Longed for it. <em>What if she takes it back?<em>

Jane looked into Maura's eyes and tried to decipher what she saw in them. Love. Fear. _I'm scared too._

"I do" she spoke and rolled Maura over on to her back; she placed herself to be hovering over her best friend leaning on her elbow "But…" she said and nudged her nose against Maura's "I'm…." she closed her eyes and sighed. _this is harder than I thought._ "I'm just.."

"Afraid?" Maura cut in

"Yes"

"I'm afraid too"

"I know" whispered Jane.

Jane brought her head to the crook of Maura's neck and inhaled her scent.

"I can't lose you, okay?" she whispered into Maura's ear.

"Okay" Maura answers simply; wrapping her arms around Jane, feeling her settle in to the embrace.

Jane began to lay kisses on Maura's neck. Soft lingering kisses. Slow and sensual. Maura whimpered and Jane continued down to her collarbone, flicking her tongue at the clavicle and sucking. Maura bucked beneath her and dug her nails into the detectives bare hip.

"Jane" she moaned. "Jane wait"

"I'm sorry" said Jane stopping her actions and resting her head on Maura's chest not being able to look her in the eyes.

"No Jane, don't be sorry. Look at me please"

Jane shook her head into Maura's chest.

"Yes, Jane. Look at me."

Jane tried to compose herself, tried to control her emotions in front of Maura. But something about her best friend made her go _weak_. Jane took a breath and looked at Maura.

"I am so in love with you" whispered Maura, Jane's own chest contracting at the confession "I have never been this afraid, or this out of control. I feel like I don't know anything anymore" her voice cracked and that was enough to get Jane's attention. She picked herself off Maura's body and rested a long side of her, facing her.

"Maura-" Jane began.

Maura moved to face Jane, so they both laid facing one another.

"So, when you say you love me, Jane. You have to mean it."

"You don't believe me?"

"I- don't- know- anything- anymore" Maura repeated herself, in a faint whisper.

"I've already hurt you, and I hate myself for it"

Jane moved in closer and cupped Maura's face.

"I'm sorry" Jane tried to control the tremble in her voice, her bottom lip quivered as she spoke "Please know; that you deserve so much better-" She breathed- gaining the courage to continue her own confession "But also know that I love you, _I love you_." She gulped and continued " I. LOVE. **YOU**. I love you so much and I don't know how to do this" she motioned to herself and Maura. "I don't know how to be what you need"

"Just be yourself"

"I thought I was doing that"

"No- you weren't. You were holding back. Just stop holding back and love me" Maura was on the verge of tears she bit her lip from letting the sobs escape the back of her throat. She closed her eyes and the battle was over, her tears spilled.

"No" Jane's own sobs caught in her throat making it hard to speak out "No" she repeated in a husk. "No please don't cry. Not because of me" She scooted closer to Maura- now breathing the same air as her. _How does she always smell this good- how does she always look this good_.

Maura's sobs came silent, her tears hot and heavy, shoulders trembling out the pain they have been carrying. "Just love me" she cried.

"I do" Jane leaned in capturing Maura's mouth in a soft quick kiss."I will" she said, kissing her again, deepening the kiss. Her own tears threatening to spill once more, her heart clawing at her chest, it rang so loud in her ears. Emotions begging for escape. She kissed Maura harder in a poor attempt to make her feel what she was feeling, in a poor attempt to stifle her own sobs. Maura ran her tongue along Jane's bottom lip asking for entrance, asking for attention, Jane opened her mouth to concede when a sob found its way out escaping her heart. Maura's eyes shot open and she pulled back.

"Jane?"

Jane growled in frustration, in anger, in sadness, in pain. "I'm so fucking sorry" She kissed Maura's chin. "I am so sorry" She repeated and kissed Maura's cheek. "Sorry" she whispered.

Maura shook her head in confusion and in empathy.

"I'm sorry I made you feel anything **but** loved" Jane cried, soulful tears, breath-taking cries, she gulped for air and licked her stinging salty lips and sniffled her now stuffy congested nose. Vulnerability at its best. Another layer gone. Another brick from her wall demolished.

"Shh baby. It's okay"

"It's not Maura, Its not"

"You don't want this, do you?" Maura asked; her insecurities on high.

"No! Yes. Wait. What" Jane pulled back to look at Maura. "Maura- I just told you I love you"

"Do you love me enough to take a risk and attempt to be in a romantic relationship with me, Jane?"

"I love you enough to just stop fighting it and let myself love you"

Maura tilted her head in confusion.

"Yes, Maura. Yes. I want to attempt a romantic relationship with you"

Maura smiled. _That smile_. she shook her tears away and smiled wider a laugh escaping her mouth "Really?"

"Mhm, I'm going to just kiss you now, okay? enough talking"

Maura nodded enthusiastically and Jane couldn't help but chuckle. "Okay"

She smiled into the kiss, softly brushing her lips against Maura's . She ran her tongue along Maura's bottom lip gently pulling it into her mouth, nibbling on it and biting it lightly, she let it go with a soft purr.

"You taste so good" Jane murmured into the soft kisses she was laying on Maura's lips.

"Mmm, just wait until you taste the rest of me" smirked the M.E

"_Christ' Maura"_ moaned Jane

"Mm, careful- don't use God's name in vain" chuckled Maura a wicked smile playing on her lips as Jane's brushed hers once more.

"Since when do you believe in God, Einstein?"

"Since now. Since you told me you love me"

Jane pulled back from the kiss to look her in the eyes once again.

"I do."

"I do too"

Jane sighed in relief. One thing was finally right. They were now loving each other. There was so much going on inside of her it felt so good to finally let something out. Something that was so hard to keep inside; The love she has for Maura. She settled into Maura, resting her head on her chest, feeling; sensing- her heart beat, the rhythm it played soothed her, deep beats, hard beats. She wrapped her arms around the Doctors torso. That's when she noticed Maura was still in her dress. Her head shot up to look at her now…_girlfriend?_.

"Maura, you're still in your dress"

Maura looked down at herself and Jane

"Oh, that's right. I am"

"It's wrinkled. God, I'm sorry" Jane said moving off of Maura.

"What? No Jane. Don't be sorry. You're more important than a dress"

They both sat up on the bed, Jane couldn't contain the shy smile playing on her lips. "Thanks" she whispered.

"Don't _thank_ me, silly" Maura said kissing Jane, quick and soft. "I love _you_ after all"

"More than dresses?"

"More than dresses" smiled Maura hopping off the bed

"More than shoes?" asked Jane with a soft chuckle and a wicked smile

Maura stayed silent.

"Oh my God!, You love your shoes more than me don't you?" Jane teased not being able to contain her laughter

"What? I did not say that Jane! "

"You kept silent, Maura. And you can't lie. So tell me, Me or the shoes?"

"The love I have for you cannot be measured"

"You love them more than me" whispered Jane.

"Do not"

"Do too"

"Let's go sleep with Elizabeth, I have to change out of this dress and my night clothes are in my room. I'm exhausted" yawned Maura beginning to leave the guest-room.

Jane hopped off the bed and followed her out.

-/-

Shine, warmth and comfort, greeted Doctor Isles as she fluttered her eyes open. To a little girl snuggled up against a very awake Detective who was looking right back at her. She smiled a shy, sleepy smile and yawned stretching her limbs aiming to leave her slumber state and be awake, be present, be here, in bed with Jane Rizzoli.

"Morning beautiful" smiled Jane

Maura chuckled, all of a sudden shy and nervous, butterflies in her stomach a thump in her heart _I love her_ "Good morning, Jane" she smirked "You're awake before me" She stated "Did you not sleep well?"

"She started to have nightmares again, so I stayed up"

"You stayed up? you didn't sleep at all?"

"Well…my eyes were closed, I got some rest, I'm fine really. I just didn't want her to dream again and not be able to wake up"

"Awe- Jane" Maura chuckled.

"Don't" Jane warned.

"Oh hush, you're a sweetheart"

"Am not" Jane whined.

"Are too, You're _my_ sweetheart" Maura purred

Jane chuckled "You like that, don't cha?"

"I love calling you _mine._ Yes"

"You don't _own_ me Maura"

"You mean because we have yet to consummate our relationship?"

"Ugh, Maura do you have to sound so ..I dunno, clinically?_" _

"Well?"

"That's not what I meant, no"

"What did you mean, Jane? have you changed your mind about us?"

"Maura" Jane said a little too loud. She immediately looked down to Lizard, making sure she hadn't disturbed her. The little girl was still sleeping, snuggled up against Jane. The detective smiled and brushed a couple of hair strands away from Lizards face. She stroked her cheek and frowned.

"Maura, does Liz feel a little warm to you?"

Maura furrowed her brows in concern and scooted closer to touch Liz's forehead and neck with the back of her hand

"Oh, you're right" Maura said and tucked some of Elizabeth's hair behind her ear "She's a bit warm, it could be from her deep slumber and perhaps her nightmares causing her skin to heat up due to the turmoil. We'll wait a bit after she has breakfast and see how she feels, if she's still warm I'll check her temperature"

Jane sighed "Okay."

"Don't worry, Jane"

"All I do is worry"

"She'll be fine"

"I hope so"

There was a pause, a silence as both ladies looked at the little girl nestled between them. She was here. She was sleeping. She was safe. _Breathe. _And Jane did.

"I love you, Maura Isles. I'm not changing my mind about you. _You_ I am sure of. So stop worrying. Stop doubting. And start trusting me" Jane whispered, still looking down at Elizabeth, playing with her little fingers. _I love her and I'm not holding it in anymore._

Maura's heart sank and she drew in a breath and smiled. "Okay, Jane" She said in a faint trembling voice, so quiet that if Jane weren't right next to her she wouldn't have heard it.

"I understand I was, stupid and stubborn and well…a damn right coward. But I'm learning and I'm here, trying….okay?" Jane now looked up at Maura, her eye's were a bright light green shade . "Don't cry Maur'"

"No crying" smiled Maura.

Jane smiled back at her "Good"

Jane took a moment to look at Maura. Really look at her. The way her hair was a bit frizzy in the morning, yet still beautiful. The way her skin had this special glow. The way her lips were fuller, the way her eyes sparkled, the way her moves were softer, more delicate. _So beautiful._

"Jane?"

"I really _really_ want to kiss you" Jane whispered licking her lips and looking at Maura's

Maura blushed "What's stopping you?"

"Morning breath" Jane admitted shyly

Maura laughed and shook her head.

Elizabeth squirmed in Jane's arms and both women held their breaths. Lizard rolled on to her stomach and settled closer to Maura and continued her sleep. They let out their breaths and chuckled in unison. Jane carefully drifted away from Elizabeth and climbed off the bed.

"Imma go brush my teeth, I suggest you do the same" Jane winked as she proceeded to step out of Maura's room and head towards the guest bathroom.

They went about their morning rituals. Brushing teeth, using the toilet, and washing their face. Jane joined Maura in the kitchen where she was starting a pot of coffee. She gazed at Maura as she went about her kitchen in a black silk robe _so sexy. _Jane felt free. She felt lighter; _Is this what it's like to be in love? To feel like i'm flying_.

"Coffee?" asked Maura with a sweet smile.

"I'd like that….can I kiss you first?"

Maura chuckled. "You don't need permission for that, Jane" she said walking towards Jane and wrapping her arms around _her_ Detective.

She looked up at Jane and grinned. Jane ran her fingers through Maura's hair and grinned back at her.

"You are so beautiful" she whispered and leaned down for a soft kiss.

"mmm" moaned Maura "So are you, my girl" Maura stood on her tip toes to deepen the kiss.

Jane brought her hand to the back of Maura's neck and slid her tongue inside her mouth and moaned at the warmth contact, she felt Maura's shiver and smiled through the kiss. Maura took Jane's bottom lip and sucked it; letting it go with a pop.

"You are so good at that" moaned Jane.

"I'm good at a lot of things, Detective" smirked Maura.

"Mind sharing?"

Maura leaned in to Jane's ear and whispered "I'd much rather show you" closing her lips around Jane's earlobe she sucked lightly.

The hum of approval coming from Jane was all the encouragement she needed. She trailed kisses down her neck tasting at the warm salty taste that was Jane's skin, she swirled her tongue at her pulse, bit down and quickly sucked hard. Her fingers traced the skin of the Detectives toned back. She dug her nails into the skin scraping across the spot she knew drove Jane crazy.

"Maura" Jane hissed "Don't….leave….mark"

"mmm, but Jane" Maura whispered into her neck, kissing and nipping, running her tongue up her length until she reached her earlobe once more "I just can't help myself with you" at Jane's shiver Maura pulled back and giggled.

"You..are…so….bad" gulped Jane.

Maura tilter her head in a frown "Did you not like it?"

"Loved. It" she breathed

Little footsteps traveled along the wooden floors to the kitchen, she greeted the ladies with a big yawn and a lazy smile.

Maura pulled back from Jane to look at the little princess.

"Good morning, Elizabeth" smiled the doctor

"Morning" she whispered stretching her little limbs and walking over to Jane. She stood in front of the Detective and looked up at her with a silly grin. "Hi Jane" she said holding her hands up for the detective to carry her.

With a small chuckle Jane complied and took Elizabeth in her arms.

"Whoa' there" strained Jane as she lifted the little girl "You're a little to big for this, Lizard" she teased

Elizabeth wrapped her little legs around Jane's waist, her arms around Jane's neck and giggled placing a kiss on Jane's cheek.

"mm, what was that for?" asked Jane.

"Everything" whispered Liz and squeezed the detective tighter hiding her little face at Jane's shoulder.

"Thank you sweetheart" whispered Jane and felt Elizabeth nod.

Maura watched the embrace with a smile on her face.

"Breakfast?" the Doctor asked.

"Yes!" piped Elizabeth squirming to get down from Jane's hold.

Jane put her down with another chuckle and froze when she heard the jingling of keys coming from the door and in bursted mama Rizzoli.

"Oh Jane!" Said Angela Rizzoli walking in to the kitchen "What are you doing here so early?"

"Hi Ma" Jane greeted her mother with a kiss on the cheek.

"We slept with Maura" said Lizard.

"Oh really?" smirked Angela.

"Yeah!" said Liz hopping on one of the bar stools on the kitchen island "We're going to have breakfast" continue Lizard "Would you like some?"

Maura smiled at Elizabeth's polite manners and poured Angela a cup of coffee.

"Would you mind making Elizabeth your famous bunny pancakes?" asked Maura, handing Angela the mug full of hot coffee

"For this precious little girl? Anything!" said Angela pinching at Lizards cheek and walking over to start the pancakes.

"Can I have some too Ma?" asked Jane "Just no animal shapes….Please " she smiled wide at her mother.

"Sure thing baby" responded the older Rizzoli "Bunnies or no bunnies for you, Maura?"

"Bunnies, please!" giggled Maura.

"Coming right up"

"Can I have some coffee?" asked a hopeful Lizard.

"Sure princess" said Maura grabbing a mug

Jane looked at Maura wide eyed and shook her head in disagreement

Maura winked at Jane and mouthed "De-caf"

Jane smiled at her brilliant girlfriend and took a sip of her own cup

"Here you go" Maura voiced softly handing Lizard her cup of coffee

"Mm thank you" Liz voiced back taking a slow sip

-/-

Maura Isles had insisted to eat breakfast on the dining room table. Maura sat next to Elizabeth and Both Rizzoli women sat in front of them. Maura cut up Elizabeth's pancakes's for her and poured her some orange juice. The morning was bright, partly cloudy with a chance of drizzle. But for the most part of the day the sun would shine down for them. They lingered on small talk in between bites of toast and jam. And laughed from joy at the little girl who ate like someone was after her plate of food.

"Slow down" whispered Maura and handed the girl a napkin.

"mmkay" she responded her mouth full of pancakes.

"It's such a pretty day! Don't you think Janie?" asked Angela "What are your plans for today? Are you taking your girls out? Maybe Elizabeth would like to go to the park"

"I have to meet up with Korsak and uh" She looked at Maura then at Lizard "uh settle some stuff"

"I was thinking Art Museum" Maura chimed in "There is this Family Art Day at the Boston Museum of Fine Arts that I think E_lizard_beth might enjoy"

"Oh that sounds like a lot of fun, don't you think Elizabeth?" exclaimed Angela with a clap to her hands.

Elizabeth looked at Jane who was smiling at her; At Jane's nod Elizabeth smiled and said "I don't know, maybe"

Jane caught Maura's frown at Elizabeth's hesitancy to her plans and added "Maybe you'll like it? wanna give it a try?"

With a bright smile of her own Elizabeth nodded "Okay"

"It starts at two E_lizard_beth so we have plenty of time" smiled Maura

"Can I be excused?" asked Elizabeth looking up at Maura.

"It's "May I" " Corrected the doctor "And yes you may"

Elizabeth hurried to the guest-bedroom while the ladies cleared the table, dishes were washed and put away.

"What are your plans for today?" Maura asked mama Rizzoli

"Oh dear, Stanley's got me working the lunch hour today" pouted the older Rizzoli

"He's an ass, Ma. I don't know how you put up with him. I would have blown off his balls by now" Jane chuckled

"Jane, must you be so curt?" Maura asked scrunching up her nose in disgust

"Sorry" whispered Jane.

"You have her on a tight leash, Doctor Isles" laughed mama Rizzoli.

"Ma" Jane growled "Drop it"

"I'm just saying, Janie"

Maura blushed and smiled at Jane who gave her a bashful smile right back.

_My love for her is too grand to keep inside_, she thought as she continued to gaze at Jane who was hiding her smile behind her cup of coffee. Maura wanted more than anything to yell it at the top of her lungs for the world to hear. _It's like i'm floating, I'm falling even more in love with her with each second that passes._ Angela Rizzoli noticed the look on the doctors face. _And I know she'll catch me_. The older woman cleared her throat. _Because she loves me too. _Angela cleared her throat louder.

"Oh" gasped Maura "I'm sorry" she apologized for being caught in her trance; putting her mug in the sink "I think I'll take a shower. You'll make sure Elizabeth is okay?" She asked directing her question at Jane.

"Yup, Be careful Maur'" chuckled Jane "No falling"

Maura blushed and walked away.

Angela stood gaping at Jane with her arms crossed.

_"WELL?"_

_"_Well, what mother?"

"You know what I'm talking about"

"Nope! no idea" Jane chuckled "Imma go check on Liz. Have a nice day at work Ma!" She called out walking towards the guest-bedroom.

-/-

Entering the precinct on full swagger mode, she smiled at the Officer who was standing guard. Entering the elevator, she smiled at the next officer entering along with her. She was full of smiles. She attempted to control her face, her mouth from curling upwards, but she couldn't. She just couldn't. She was smiling from the inside out.

"Detective Rizzoli"

Jane turned to find Officer Luna standing next to her in the elevator.

"Officer Luna" Jane smirked "Good Morning"

"Morning" Dani greeted "You look _chipper_ this morning"

"Is it against the law to be happy?" asked Jane with a chuckle

"Not at all, Detective!" Dani laughed along "But I HAVE to ask" she said and watched as Jane gave her an eyebrow raise. "Please tell me this happiness has something to do with Maura"

"Um…what?" Jane asked with a nervous chuckle

"It does!"

"How- " Jane looked around the elevator where two more officers rode along with them "How do you know that?" She whispered standing closer to the officer.

"I have magic powers. I read minds, and right now Detective? You should be ashamed of yourself" Dani whispered.

Jane chuckled "Ha- Ha. Very funny"

"So? did you get your head out of your ass and admit your feelings?"

"I'm.." She looked back at the officer standing behind her and gave an awkward nod. "I am not talking to you about this here….or anywhere!"

"Fine" Danielle huffed.

The bell to the elevator dinged and the officers stepped out leaving Jane alone in the elevator but before the door could close Dani whispered

"Jane loves Maura!" and made a kiss sound.

Jane chuckled _Oh man. Is it that obvious?_

-/-

"The court date has been set" Korsak handed a vanilla folder to Jane "and those are all the papers you will need, are you sure about this Jane?"

"Yeah. I am" Jane said as she sat on the edge of the desk facing Korsak's

"Have you spoken to Dr. Isles about it?"

"Not yet"

"The hearing is on Wednesday, early morning 8 am. You have three days. Is Elizabeth ready?"

"We're still working on it, Korsak. This isn't easy for her"

"We've arranged for it to be a private hearing. She'll go up against her mother in the Judge's chamber, Since you're head of the case you can't be in there."

"Are you 100% positive that I can't be in there?"

"Jane" he warned "You cannot be in there"

"She needs someone Korsak, I promised her I'd be there"

"Doctor Isles is her current Foster parent, She is entitled to be there. She'll have to be enough, Jane. You can wait for Elizabeth outside"

Jane grumbled an "ok" and took a deep breath.

"What do you think Maura will say?" asked Jane holding up the folder.

"If I were her, it would be hard to say no" smiled Korsak.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews are loved and appreciated. xx<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you to everyone who messaged me and reviewed encouraging me to keep writing.**

**If you are still with me, still along for the rest of the ride, this..my darling, is for you.**

**My tumblr name if you want to follow or go bug me to keep writing is : deceptively-complex**

**I do not own Rizzoli and I do not own Isles. I do however, own E_lizard_beth but you already knew that ;)**

-/-

The Boston Museum of Fine Arts was surprisingly not as crowded as Doctor Isles would have presumed. After having parked, they waited in line for the trolly to take them up to the main entrance. The line was short. A couple of families in line along with them. An African American couple with twins in matching outfits. A Caucasian couple with a toddler boy and another one on the way by the looks of it. A single father with his son. An old lady with her granddaughter. A Hispanic lady with a girl just about Elizabeth's age. Maura smiled at the Diversity in this group of people they were surrounded with. The wind blew and whistled its way through their hair and Elizabeth giggled at the hair strands caught on Maura's lip gloss. Maura smiled and charmingly shook her head side to side, her hair flowing beautifully with the wind, she winked at Elizabeth who reached up to Maura's lips, Maura bent down to meet her half way and pursed her lips together as Elizabeth removed the hair strands.

"Thank you, princess" Maura whispered.

"You're welcome!" exclaimed Liz with a giggle.

The trolly sang its way down the lane, the bells chiming its melody loud and clear eliciting giggles from Elizabeth. Her excitement grew larger at the site of the trolly stopping in front of them. She smiled wide at Maura and clapped her hands together. Eager to board the vehicle. With a clasp of their hands, Liz held on to Maura's fingers and urged her to _hurry hurry_ and board. She chose a seat next to a window and patted the seat next to hers for Maura to join her. Dr. Isles chuckled at the enthusiastic little girl and sat next to her. Elizabeth sat on her little legs looking out the window. She saw a lot of green. Green grass and trees.

"Please sit on your tush, Liz. I don't want you falling out of your seat" smiled Maura.

Obedient as ever, Elizabeth retreated from her legs and sat on her bum, she squirmed to look out the window and pouted when she couldn't reach to watch the view. With a chuckle, Maura swept in and took Elizabeth in her lap and sat next to the window.

"Better?"

"Yes!" said a very happy Elizabeth, settling on to Maura's lap. She reveled in Maura's arms around her little waist and threw her head back to rest on Maura's chest. She faced the window and saw how the flowers bloomed in between bushes. A pattern of different colors. Pink, purple and yellow. _pink purple and yellow._ And again and again. The patterns continued until they reached the top and the trolly came to a halt.

"We're here?" whispered the little princess.

Maura wiggled her eyebrows at Elizabeth with a nod. They held hands as they walked out of the trolly and headed for their entrance.

"What is this again?" asked Liz looking around, she spotted a sculpture entangled in green vines and white roses.

"It's family art day! You'll love it E_lizard_beth"

-/-

She held the folder under her arm as she strutted her way down to the police cafe. She mentally reminded herself to stop by her place and pack an overnight bag that would last her a day or two and head over to Maura's to drop it (and the folder) off, take a quick shower and join her ladies for the remainder of her day. She stood before the glass doors of the cafe and watched as her mother dealt with grumpy "customers". _She deserves so much better._ She thought. On most days Jane forced the thoughts of her father to the back of her head, and sometimes it worked but others, those thoughts crawled their way through her, sharp and stabbing thoughts that made their way down to her heart. This was one of those moments, watching her mother work; she thought of her father. She heard her mother's pained voice in her head _"he left me"._ She took a deep breath in and vowed to be a _little_ nicer to her Ma.

Angela Rizzoli spotted her daughter the second she entered the cafe. She smiled at her but refrained from calling out her name in fear she'd embarrass her.

"Hey Ma" greeted the Detective giving her mother her best 100 watt smile.

"Hi Janie, have you had your lunch? I could make you a nice sandwich if you like?"

"No thanks Ma, I'm going to join Maura and Liz for lunch in a bit" she smiled again before adding "but I will have a coffee, please"

"hmmm" Angela pursed her lips and furrowed her eyebrows at her daughter. _She's being nice…too nice_ "Is everything okay dear?"

"Yeah Ma, everything is fine" Jane smiled wider.

"Stop that!" exclaimed Angela

"Stop what!"

"That!" Mrs Rizzoli voiced, pointing her finger at Jane's mouth.

Jane brought the tips of her fingers to her lips "I'm not doing anything!"

"Yes, you are…now tell me Janie, What's going on?"

"_Nothing_ is going on" Jane scolded.

"Fine"

She closed her eyes and shook her head "I just love you, that's all." Jane whispered "I had it good with you and pop"

"Oh baby" Angela whispered bringing a hand up to her chest. "I love you too Janie"

"You sure you okay?" Angela asked

"Yeah….but I need to talk to you about something….got five minutes to spare?"

"For my _favorite_ daughter? Anything!"

"I'm your _only_ daughter Ma" Jane chuckled and rolled her eyes.

-/-

She wore a purple art smock apron, her little hips moving from side to side to the soft up-beat music playing in the background, the room was bright and smelled of paint and potpourri, the scents were strong but they didn't bother her. She once again dipped her brush in the yellow paint and brought it up to the painting easel. She continued to draw graceful and attentive strokes, with a smile that reached her eyes. Tilting her head to the side, she concentrated on the oval figures she painted. She dipped her brush in the water and wiped it dry on her apron. She looked up to Maura who was standing next to her.

"This is so much fun!" Elizabeth smiled

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself E_lizard_beth"

Maura stood next to Elizabeth facing her own painting easel. She had yet to dip her hands into her art. She had been entranced with the smile painted on the little girl's face.

"What should I paint, Liz?" asked Maura

"Ummm" Liz brought her little finger to her chin and thought, furrowing her brows she exclaimed "Jane!"

"Jane?" Maura laughed "Well….alright then, I'll see what I can do" she winked.

She dipped her brush in the red paint and began.

"Now the point to the three colors in front of you" said Miss Macy "Is to learn how to blend and work with what we have"

Miss Macy was tall, _really tall_ thought Liz as she peered over her easel to look at the woman who was talking to the class filled with parents and children. Miss Macy had a funny accent, and her hair was almost the color of fire, but what Elizabeth liked the most were her eyes. How green they looked and how when she smiled it was as if they sparkled. Elizabeth looked to her left where a little girl stood, painting. Her face was _serious._ In concentration of her painting. Liz noticed she was using blue, and a lot of it. She was about Elizabeth's height, with dark long curly hair _kinda like Jane's_. But softer, shinier. She was dark skinned and pretty.

"So let's say I wanted to paint some grass- out of these three colors- _red, blue, and yellow-_ which ones would I need to blend to make green?"

The parent's stayed silent as the kids thought long and hard. Elizabeth looked up at Maura who gave her a nod. _No _Elizabeth shook her head.

"Anyone?" asked Miss Macy.

"Blue and Yellow" said the little dark skinned girl. Her voice raspy which also reminded Elizabeth of Jane.

"Yes! very good!" exclaimed Miss Macy. "What's your name sweetheart?"

"Emily"

"Well, Emily" said Miss Macy walking over "You just earned yourself a gold star"

Emily looked up at the lady who was standing next to her with a huge smile as Miss Macy put a gold star sticker on her apron. "Thanks!" said the little girl.

"Now!" exclaimed Miss Macy with a clap to her hands, making Liz jump. Maura rested her hand on Elizabeth's shoulder, patting lightly _She must not be used to this_.

"Who can tell me what colors I would need to blend to make orange?"

Elizabeth once again looked up at Maura who raised an eyebrow at Liz, Elizabeth giggled and shook her head again. "Go on" Maura whispered. "No!" Liz whispered back. Maura nudged her and Elizabeth laughed.

"Yes?" asked Miss Macy looking at Liz, and waiting for an answer.

Elizabeth stood frozen, looking around the room.

Emily smiled over at Elizabeth and motioned her hands _"c'mon answer!'_ Liz could almost hear the girl say_._ Elizabeth smiled back at Emily who was nodding her head at Liz encouraging her to answer.

"um..yellow and red?…but not too much red…I think…right?" Answered Elizabeth.

"Oh that's right!" smiled Miss Macy walking over to Elizabeth. "We have to be very careful with the amount of color we add to blend." She said taking the sticker out "And what's your name, honey?"

"Lizard" Elizabeth stated.

The kids burst with chuckles and giggles.

"What a nice name, Lizard. You just earned yourself a gold star" said Miss Macy placing the sticker on Elizabeth's apron, Liz heard Maura clear her throat.

"Well it's Elizabeth…but I like Lizard better"

"Well, _Lizard_. You did a great job" smiled Miss Macy.

"Thank you" whispered Liz, looking up and smiling at Maura who gave her a wink and a thumbs up. Elizabeth shook her head and giggled at the sight of a giddy Maura.

"Now who can tell me, what colors I would need to blend to make….PURPLE?"

-/-

"Ma"

Time stood still at the police cafe.

Both woman sitting at a table, the people around them seemed to slow down

The noises muffled, low, Angela felt like she was underwater.

"Ma, please say something"

Angela Rizzoli opened her mouth to speak.

Like a fish she sat looking at her daughter, Mouth opening. Then closing. Then opening again.

"Ma, _please" _ begged Jane. "Please be okay with this"

Angela trembled.

"Ma…"

"I can't" Angela began "I can't believe…"

And she laughed. Hysterical laughter. "I can't believe…" she trailed off again, laughter getting the best of her "Oh my god" she brought a hand to her mouth to suppress the laughter.

"Ma" Jane breathed a sigh of relief, _At least she's talking now. "Please_" she begged again. "I know you're in shock but.."

"Shock!" laughed the older Rizzoli throwing her hands in the air.

"Ma…keep it down! People are staring"

"I can't believe you.."

"I know Ma, But I love her"

"No!" said Mama Rizzoli "That's not.."

"The church…I know Ma" Jane spoke softly with pleading eyes. "I know, but screw the church. I'm your _daughter"_

"That's not..oh my god, Janie hahahaha"

"SHHHH" Jane looked around the cafe in a frenzy.

Mama Rizzoli took a deep breath and attempted to calm herself.

"That's not what I meant" Angela waved a hand dismissing Jane's thoughts

"What?"

"Janie, you're my babygirl. I can't believe you would even THINK I would disapprove"

"You don't?" Jane said with a tremble in her voice "I mean, disapprove…you don't?"

"No!" Angela chuckled

"Then why are you laughing!"

"Because you told Maura you love her last night and now you want to adopt a baby with her! What are you trying to do Janie? Scare her away!"

Jane froze _holy shit. _"Oh"

"I think it's great Janie. You and Maura"

"Yes" Jane nodded, taking a hold of her mother's hands.

"And Lizard" said Angela.

"Yes, and Elizabeth…well, I mean…If Maura says yes"

"And if she says no?"

"Then…I guess that'll be a big problem. But..."

"You love that little girl" smiled Angela tightening her grip on her daughter's hands.

"I do, Ma" smiled Jane "I do, and I know Maura does too. I mean hell, everyone does. It's hard not to, you know?"

Angela chuckled "Yes, I know Janie"

"Are you really okay with this?" Jane asked her mother hesitantly with a weak smile.

Angela nodded and smiled "You're my babygirl" she repeated with tears in her eyes "And I love you, I'll always love you."

Jane smiled and held back her own tears

"So are you a lesbian now?" asked Angela

With a cough Jane laughed "uh- No? Yes? I don't know Ma, I'm still _me_"

"But you like the ladies now" Angela wiggled her eyebrows at Jane

"I just like Maura" Jane said taking a sip from her coffee

"So you're a Maurabian" Mama Rizzoli pointed out.

With a spit of her drink, Jane burst out in laughter.

Angela laughed too "She makes you happy huh?"

"Very much"

"Then that's all that matters baby"

Jane laughed, and shook her head. _Of course she'd be okay with this_

"And she's a doctor! My baby is dating a doctor!"

"Ma!" Jane scowled "Can you keep it down?"

"Oh! oh my god! Do you think she'll want to have babies of her own? Oh I'm sure she will!"

"Oh god, Ma. Don't start"

Angela laughed. "I'm just messing with ya"

-/-

The sunlight shimmered on their skin, leaving trails of burnt orange and bright yellow colors that caressed their faces and brought out the beautiful freckles planted there. Elizabeth skipped down the path ahead of Maura with a sway to her hips and a twinkle in her blue eyes. She was lost in the garden. Lost in between a sequence of white and yellow roses and pink daises. Green bushes and trees with red leaves. Maura kicked a rock along the sanded pathway, she strutted behind Liz with a giggle of her own. They came across a floral archway that was entwined in pink flowers and green thorns. Elizabeth stood beneath it looking up as the rays of sunshine shot through the leaves and flowers, casting shadows over her face, hiding the blonde highlights of her hair. She smiled at the beauty. Walked closer to the flowers and reached up to inhale. Maura took out her cellphone and captured the moment.

And of course, she texted Jane the photo. "**You are missing all the fun- be here soon, please. xx-M"**

The flowers were sweet but tangy, it was like hitting an invisible wall. A strong scent that overwhelmed your senses and left you with a mild ache but it quickly became soft and subtle. She inhaled again and the smell faded into the smells of everything else that surrounded her, the chloride from the water in the pond, the fresh cut grass and the faint smell of smoke and something else she couldn't quite put her finger on- but it was a familiar scent, a sweet scent and it lingered in her clothes and became stronger once Maura stepped closer. _Maura_.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Maura whispered now standing beneath the archway with Liz.

"Yeah.." Elizabeth whispered back smiling at the sky, the breeze brushing soft against her face. "It is"

They continued to walk along the pathway. In circles they went around the maze garden, looking over the small river, ending in a pond of rocks. They crossed the bridge and Elizabeth looked down at the blue water and at the grey and brown rocks. She caught sight of little guppies swimming along the small current. Bright orange, red and yellow guppies. And a white one with spots that was swimming alone, away from the rest of the group. Unlike them the white one swam against the current, swimming up towards the river instead of swimming down to the pond. She watched as it furthered along its trail, swimming between the rocks. Faster and faster never tiring. She smiled and ran to catch up to Maura.

They settled on a bench beneath another floral archway, this one was entangled in more leaves and white flowers. Blocking out the hot sun. Maura sat and watched as Liz climbed along with her. She reached into her purse where she took out a small ziplock bag that contained baby carrots and handed the bag to Liz without question. Elizabeth smiled up at Maura as she crossed her legs on the bench, opened the bag and took a bite of a carrot. She offered one to Maura who gratefully took one and bit into it with a silly grin.

She was hesitant in her questioning. She knew it wasn't easy for Elizabeth to relive such terrible memories at such a young age, but they didn't have much time left and the little girl had to be prepared. Jane had let Elizabeth know that they had to have this conversation so that she could be best prepared, and Elizabeth had hesitantly nodded her understanding. Maura watched as Liz chewed on her carrots with a carefree smile on her face, she watched as the wind blew through her braids, the small strands of strawberry blonde hair sticking out at the back of her neck. Maura wanted it to always be like this. _Simple and free_.

"Growing up I always wanted to have a sibling" Maura spoke looking out into the garden. "I was adopted" She stated "And I was an only child. My parents were always really busy so I spent a lot of time alone. And I always wished for a sibling. A sister or brother. Younger or older. It didn't matter. I just didn't want to be alone"

"Really?" asked Liz, munching on her carrots

"Really" Maura smiled weakly. "So I can't imagine how hard it must be to lose your little brother the way that you did, you two must have been really close"

"Yeah" whispered Liz playing with the carrot at hand "We were" she smiled recalling old memories "He was an awesome little brother, most of the time" she gave a weak laugh.

"Did you two fight a lot?"

"No"

"Well that must have been nice"

"He was a baby. There wasn't much to fight about."

"Tell me about him.."

"Like what?"

"Like anything- anything that comes to mind"

"His name was Elliot" Elizabeth began "He had blue eyes like mine but his hair was more yellow"

_I know_ thought Maura _I did his autopsy._

"He was a loud baby, he cried a lot. I taught him how to use the potty like a big boy and he was really proud of himself." Elizabeth giggled "this one time he went pee all by himself on his little potty pot, he was so excited he grabbed it and ran to the kitchen just to show me. But by the time he got there he had spilled it all over the floor"

Maura laughed a long with Elizabeth "Oh no" she chuckled.

"I had to hurry and clean before Mommy Karen saw" Elizabeth laughed "But it was okay because he learned and he was just so happy"

"He also liked to play with firetrucks a lot" she continued taking another bite of her carrots "I mean A LOT, That's all he asked for and that was the only toy that could make him stop crying. His firetruck." She swallowed and continued "He left it out once…forgot to put it away and left it lying on the living room floor…I didn't see it cause it was dark and I was barefoot and I.."

"Ouch" interrupted Maura knowing what was coming next

"Yeah" giggled Liz "I stepped on it. It hurt a lot. I tried not to cry so I wouldn't wake mommy Karen"

"Did you wake her?" Maura asked softly placing a loose strand of hair behind Liz's ear.

"I did" said Liz looking down to her lap.

Maura looked at Elizabeth her green hazel eyes glowing with love. "Tell me" Maura stated simply

"I woke her up and she was mad" Elizabeth looked up and held Maura's gaze and shrugged. "I knew what was going to happen the moment I saw her standing in front of me. So I wasn't scared."

"It's not okay" whispered Maura. "It wasn't your fault"

"I shouldn't have cried"

"It's OKAY to cry"

Elizabeth shrugged again and took out another carrot and handed it to Maura. Maura took it and placed the whole thing in her mouth eliciting a giggle from Lizard.

Elizabeth's bottom lip quivered and she took a deep breath in- her chest felt tight, there was a lump in her throat and her eyes stung _don't cry_ she told herself.

Maura grabbed Elizabeth and placed her on her lap. Liz settled her little head on Maura's chest and worked on her breathing.

"It's okay to miss Elliot" Maura whispered "It's okay to be sad and it's okay to cry, sweetheart" she murmured while drawing circles on Elizabeth's back. "It's okay" she repeated as she felt Elizabeth tremble in her arms and heard a small whimper and a sniffle. "It's okay"

Maura heard a soft beep and felt a faint vibrate coming from her pocket.

**"Turn around- J"**

With a jerk of her head Maura immediately spotted Jane walking down towards the archway. Her aviators on- along with a curl to her lips, the hot sun casting an engaging glow on her already tanned skin. Maura subconsciously licked her lips.

"Look who's here" she whispered into Elizabeth's ear

Elizabeth wiped at her tears and looked up from Maura's chest, turning to where Maura was pointing.

"Jane!"

-/-

If the grass is greener on the other side, then this must be that other side. The happier side. This moment _here_ was her happier side. Sure, she has gone through her personal hell, and sure- it's not over yet. But here she is, with people who love her. Not having to worry about spilling her drink, making a mess and getting punished for it._ Punishment. No more punishment-_ A sigh of relief escaping her little mouth- Here she is simply being herself, being free, being loved. Surrounded by green and pink. The garden was beautiful and she had deemed it her heaven on earth.

"Did you know that Van Gogh made a lot of paintings?"

Receiving a raised eyebrow as a response she continued.

"Yeah he made more than two THOUSAND paintings! Those are a lot of paintings, I only made one and my arms was already tired"

"Were" corrected Maura.

"Yeah" said Liz " And did you know that he had mental illnesses? Do a lot of painters have mental problems and that's why they have to paint everything out?"

"Illness" corrected Jane and added with a chuckle "I have NO Idea, Liz." Jane looked over at Maura who was sitting next to Elizabeth. They shared a smile and Maura blushed when Jane winked at her.

"You learned a lot, huh Liz?" asked Jane

"Yeah!"

They sat outside the Museum cafeteria at a small courtyard table, an umbrella keeping them cool, guarded by the shade it produced. Looking out into the garden, the pond, the green grass where children rolled down the little hill. And parents sat smiling with blankets and picnic baskets. Elizabeth swirled her spaghetti around on her fork and brought it to her mouth, slurping loud, unaware of the woman next to her smiling down at her. She licked her lips and went in for another bite when she felt a warm hand at her lower back, she flinched and softly jumped in her seat. Her heart rang heavy. She looked at Maura who was smiling at her.

"Yummy, Lizard?" the Doctor asked

"Yeah" she spoke softly, looking at Maura hesitantly.

"What's wrong?"

She stood frozen and felt as Maura started rubbing soft circles at her back. She sighed in relief once more. _No punishment. _ She had to remind herself.

"Nothing" she breathed and brought her vision out on to the garden. She watched as a little girl swayed her hips to a silver sparkly hula hoop. She smiled as the girl attempted to turn in circles without letting the hula drop. And stifled a laugh when the girl failed miserably.

The little girl in a beautiful yellow sundress spotted her. _oh it's emily_. Elizabeth recognized the little girl's face and she was waving, waving in her direction _why?_. Elizabeth looked at the girl with confusion. She looked behind herself but there was no one there. _is she waving at me?_ Elizabeth pointed to herself and Emily nodded with a huge grin and waved again. Elizabeth smiled and waved back. Emily hand gestured Liz to go over and Elizabeth shook her head. _No I can't_. But Emily wasn't having it, she pleaded with her eyes and gestured again.

"Are you done with your food Elizabeth?" Maura asked having been aware of the silent dialogue between both girls.

"No.." Liz answered playing with the spaghetti on her plate.

"Are you full?" asked Jane

Elizabeth nodded but took a noodle in her mouth and slurped it.

"Lizard, if you're full don't force feed yourself. It could give you a tummy ache. Alright?" said Jane.

Elizabeth looked up from her plate to Jane. "But…"

"No buts, If you're full- don't force yourself to eat. That's the new rule. Okay?"

Liz smiled weakly and set her fork down and grabbed her juice box and took a sip, she looked back at Emily who had begun to play with her hula hoop again.

"It's okay, E_lizard_beth" said Maura "Go ahead, have fun"

Elizabeth looked over at Jane silently asking for permission.

Jane chuckled "Go Lizard" she whispered with a wink.

"Here" said Maura reaching into her purse "Take her a juice box"

Elizabeth took the juice from Maura's hand and practically jumped out of her seat in excitement and ran over to the little girl, going down the little hill of green grass to get to the girl.

Jane chuckled at the over-enthusiastic little girl and swooped into her seat next to Maura.

"Hey" Jane smirked.

Maura blushed "Hi" she giggled.

"Miss me?" Jane said leaning closer to the smaller woman.

"Mhm" Maura nodded scooting her chair closer to Jane, smiling when the chair made a loud scraping noise against the pavement.

Jane chuckled and leaned in to nuzzle Maura's neck placing soft wet kisses at the skin she found there.

"Why do you always smell so good?"

"Well…" Maura smirked leaning her head to the side to grant Jane access "to keep you coming around, of course"

"In that case, I'll never leave." Jane smiled into Maura's neck leaving one last soft kiss.

"Please don't"

"Not ever, Maura" Jane said taking Maura's face in one hand and giving her lips a soft deep kiss. "Not going anywhere" she whispered pulling back and giving Maura her best Rizzoli grin.

Maura grinned back. "Neither am I" she purred.

Rizzoli couldn't contain the big smile on her lips and the giggle, yes giggle, that erupted from the back of her throat.

"Damn, Maur'" she laughed "You make me feel things I never thought were possible"

"You say that like it's a bad thing, Jane" she teased

"No…no no. Good, definitely…GOOD" Jane whispered leaning in for another kiss.

"So I take it, it went well?"

"What?" Jane question with a puzzled look

"Vince"

"Oh…Yes! Actually, it did. As you already knew -You will have to be present and...well I can't be there. But Korsak was able to get the private hearing. It's on Wednesday. 8am"

Maura nodded "I'm sorry you can't be there, but I will be there with her, she's a strong little girl."

"How did it go today? Anything new?"

"Not really, no. She really misses Elliot but doesn't know how to voice it or is afraid to, It's going to take a lot for her to get adjusted to a different life style. But she's young, she'll get there"

"She looked like she was crying when I got here"

"Yes" answered Maura "She was. We were talking about Elliot and Karen. She's not ready yet, Jane. I'm not sure she will ever be. How can anyone..especially a 7 year old confront their own mother…" Maura's voice broke and she shook her head and cleared her throat. "She shouldn't have to be doing this"

"I know" Jane held Maura's hand "I know, but she understands why she has to do it and like you said, she's a strong little girl and also, she has us."

"That she does" smiled Maura

"You love her, don't you?"

"You know I do"

Jane nodded and chuckled "Yeah, I know"

"What's so funny?"

"I told Ma about us…"

-/-

She was beginning to get dizzy and tired but the thrill of the twirling enticed her to continue. She swayed her hips until she couldn't no more and watched as the hula hoop dropped at her ankles. She picked it up and handed it to Emily. Who had been giggling and clapping along with excitement as she watched Elizabeth twirl and sway.

"You're good!" Emily laughed.

"That was fun!" Liz giggled along.

"Yeah! My mami gave me this one for Christmas cause my sister broke my other one"

"How did she break it?" Liz asked as she watched Emily put the hula hoop to her hips and begin to sway.

Emily shrugged "I don't know, I was at school"

"Oh" Lizard noticed how quiet Emily got once they started talking about her sister and wondered why.

Emily began to move around with the hula.

"If you stay in place it won't drop so fast" advised Liz.

Emily smiled and took the advice- she stood still but swayed her hips, faster and faster giggling along with Liz's clapping.

"Like this?" Emily asked.

"Yeah!" Elizabeth laughed as Emily made a silly face.

"Do you have a hula?" Emily asked

"Nope!" Liz answered sitting down on the grass and watching Emily "Yours is pretty"

"This one is okay, the other one was better. It had water and glitter inside!"

"Cool!" Liz grinned "It's too bad your sister broke it"

"Yeah" Emily responded with a pout on her lips "But it was an accident"

Liz smiled at the faint accent she heard in the girl's voice.

"What's your sister's name?" asked Liz

"Helena" Emily whispered stopping her movements and sitting on the grass with Liz, facing her.

"That's a pretty name" Liz whispered back.

"Do you have a sister?" Emily asked- noticing Elizabeth's untied shoe lace, she reached over to tie them for her without a word.

"No" Elizabeth settled her foot on Emily's lap and shook her head "I had a brother though, his name is Elliot…or was…I don't know"

"You don't know his name?" Emily asked tapping Elizabeth's foot indicating that she was done.

"I don't know if he has a name anymore" Elizabeth spoke softly not knowing how to explain.

Emily looked at her with confusion, she shook her head at Liz "I don't get it"

"He…died"

Emily gasped and took a hold of Elizabeth's ankle. "He was sick?"

"No…"

"Oh" Emily breathed out looking down at the grass between them- not knowing how to ask or what to say next; she whispered "Helena is in the hospital"

"She's sick?" Lizard ask taking the hula from the grass and bringing it over Emily's head.

"Yeah, she has _lookemah_" Emily said butchering the pronunciation of leukemia "It's bad"

"Is she dying?" Liz asked removing her ankle from Emily's grasp. She scooted closer to the smaller girl.

"Mami doesn't say anything" Emily whispered "All she does is cry…so..I think so, yeah"

"I'm sorry" Liz said taking a hold of Emily's hand.

Emily shrugged "Is okay"

Elizabeth stood up "Come on" she said holding her hand out to Emily.

"Where are we going?" Emily asked taking Liz's hand and standing up

"To look at the fishes" Liz smiled.

-/-

By the end of the day Elizabeth was exhausted, her tiny limbs felt weak and heavy. After the lunch break, they returned to the first floor where Jane had carried her down the flight of stairs. Back in the class Jane had the opportunity to meet Miss Macy while Elizabeth and Maura retrieved their paintings and aprons. Maura bought Elizabeth her own painting easel and a variety of painting colors and brushes, Elizabeth having hugged Maura tightly as a thank you- There was a new bond between them both and Liz couldn't contain the smile on her face. Before leaving Elizabeth said her goodbyes to the class and her new friend Emily; they made promises of "I had fun" and "see you laters". Maura had exchanged numbers with the lady who had taken Emily to the Museum, learning that her name was Claudia and she was Emily's aunt.

The sun was setting, leaving behind a pink glow to the sky. As they traveled through the Boston streets by car heading _home_. Elizabeth slept soundly in the back. They reached their destination in no time. Jane carefully carried Elizabeth out of the car and into the house, tip toe-ing her way into the bedroom. They were tired, the hot sun had made them sticky and drowsy. Elizabeth rolled to lie on her stomach and Jane took off her shoes and socks and changed into some loose yoga pants, a comfy tee and laid down with Liz as Maura hopped in the shower. She watched the rise and fall of Elizabeth's chest as she slept, and secretly sent out a prayer to the God she was raised to believe in. _Please, _she begged. _Let her sleep soundly, nightmare-less._ She scooted closer to Elizabeth and placed a small kiss at her cheek. _Help her get through this; ease her pain, and keep her safe when I can't. _She looked up at the ceiling and breathed in not remembering the last time she did this, the last time she prayed. _Am I doing it right? Are you listening? _She sighed and closed her eyes, biting back the sob she felt was about to erupt from within her. _I don't know what to believe. _She heard Elizabeth's light snoring and it somehow soothed her, helped her continue._ I grew up believing in __**you**__. But if believing in you means that loving Maura is wrong. I don't think I want to do it anymore. _She let a tear drop fall and groaned. _But here's the thing, I __**need**__ you. So…i'm going to choose to believe that you're more than okay with the love I have for Maura. And I choose to believe you can hear me. I choose to believe you still love me, and I choose to believe that you still believe in me._

She sat up and opened her eyes. She rubbed at her temples, wiped her tears and finished with _And I choose to believe you'll help me take care of __**us.**__ Amen. _Sitting up straighter and closing her eyes again, Jane brought her thumb and index finger to her forehead, and then to her chest. She moved it to her left shoulder and then to her right. She brought it to her lips and kissed her fingers. Making the sign of the cross.

-/-

"I thought you were asleep"

"No" came the husky reply.

Jane sat up from the bed to look at Maura, who was wrapped deliciously in a towel. Her hair still damp. She inhaled the sweet aroma along with the steam that had rolled into the room, she licked her lips.

"Like what you see?"

Jane groaned "You already know the answer to that"

"Jane" Maura shook her head "You know I don't like to guess"

A smirk played on her lips "Hypothesize then?"

Maura chuckled "Well, there is a pink blush to your cheeks, your breathing is a bit ragged, and you can't seem to stop biting that bottom lip of yours"

Jane immediately let go of her bottom lip and gaped at Maura who was striding over to her with a seductive smirk on her face, her hands keeping the towel closed, she slowly started to open it loose.

"Maur'" Jane's mouth was dry as she spoke, she look down at Elizabeth and back at Maura "Liz" she whispered as a warning.

"_Liz _is asleep" Maura let go of the towel dropping it to the floor as she approached Jane. "And my hypothesis concludes that you, very much like what you see, am I right Detective Rizzoli?"

Jane gulped and nodded her answer and let Maura reach out for her, she stood on trembling legs as Maura wrapped her arms around her torso. Jane kept her hands at her side and peered down at Maura. She gulped again and licked her lips.

"Maura" Jane whispered bringing one hand to Maura's hip and another to the back of her neck. Soft inviting skin met her trembling calloused fingers. She gripped her tighter. "Liz can wake up at any moment"

"Then you better hurry and kiss me now" Maura purred tilting her chin upwards to meet Jane.

Jane met Maura's lips hesitantly and delicately, Brushing her lips along Maura's- whose lips were_…soft…warm and moist_ and they tastelike _Maura_. Maura who was so easily becoming Jane's favorite taste. Maura hummed at the contact of Jane's thin lips against hers. She propped herself up on her tip toes and brought her body closer to Jane. Tugging at her belt loops, feeling the heat from the detective's warm skin. She groaned.

"Maura" Jane breathed heavily- her stomach in knots and her blood boiling in her veins. She pulled back and rested her forehead against Maura's and took a moment to catch her breath. "You need to get dressed" she said running her hands over Maura's body. She closed her eyes and once again bit her bottom lip. She reveled in the smoothness that is Maura Isles. Her skin was fresh, cool and possibly the softest thing Jane had ever touched. She let her fingers travel up and down her spine and over to her shoulders and down her arms, grasping at her hands and entwining their fingers together. "You" Jane's voice was low, she licked her lips to try and gain moisture in her mouth "God, You are amazing" she growled kissing Maura again, bringing both of her hands to her back locking her in the embrace. Her tongue ran against Maura's rapidly and frenzied she smiled when she heard Maura groan into her mouth and she pulled back suddenly, letting Maura's hands drop to her side, she took a step back to gawk at Maura, her skin in goosebumps and her nipples hard and erect, she licked her lips again.

"Here" Jane said bending down and collecting the discarded towel-she wrapped it around Maura and walked away from her.

"I need to go…start dinner…and you. You need to get dressed and wake Liz" and with that Jane was gone from Maura's sight.

-/-

There was something about seeing Jane like this, in the kitchen with an apron on and a little girl at her side so eager to learn so happy to help. It warmed Maura's heart and if anything it made her fall even more in love with Detective Jane Rizzoli. Steak, mashed potatoes and green beans with lemonade. Something so simple but Maura was impressed. Elizabeth re-encountered her day and her adventures with her new friend Emily over dinner. So happy to have someone to talk to who will listen and who genuinely cared. She was learning to eat slowly, take her time. She was learning to pace herself, she was learning to trust and learning to simply let herself breathe, let herself just _be. _They ate in contentment, happy to have this time with one another. Night crawled in and the little girl excused herself for the night, changing into her pajamas, brushing her teeth and settling in the middle of the big comfy bed, She waited for the ladies to tuck her in before letting sleep take her.

Maura and Jane sat in comfortable silence on the living room couch. Jane being entranced with the skin her finger tips were caressing. She traced the curve of Maura's foot and ankle, adding pressure to the muscle and rotating her ankles in circles. Maura let out a small moan as Jane found a sweet spot at her heel.

"I don't know how you can walk in those heels all day"

"You get used to it" Maura replied settling further into the couch and closing her eyes.

"You okay?"

"Mhm, bit of a headache"

"Here" Jane said removing Maura's legs from her lap "I'll go get your medication"

"No!" Maura spoke out crossing her legs "I mean, no…it's fine. I don't need them"

"Just take your meds Maur', your headache will be gone in no time"

"I don't have them anymore" Maura replied opening her book and pretending to read.

"You finished them all? Already?"

Maura sighed. She didn't want to have to explain.

"Maura?"

"I threw them out."

"Oookay?" Jane sat back down and waited until Maura looked at her.

"I.." Maura started "I..found..it's just that" she gave a frustrated sigh and put the book down once again "I found myself being a little too dependent on them so I decided I didn't need them"

"Too dependent?" Jane questioned.

"Yes" Maura responded and went to grab her book but Jane stopped her.

"Explain" Jane demanded but her voice was soft and concerned, so Maura gave in.

"I grew fond of the…" she searched for the right words so Jane would understand her "the _high_ if you may; from taking more than one or mixing it with prior medication" at Jane's wide eyed look she continued "I've had this problem before, in college" she looked down at her arm where Jane's hand was resting. "I needed medication to help me relax, my anxiety around crowds grew too monumental and my therapist suggested it" she looked back at Jane who was listening intently "I was hesitant at first, of course. But…after a while.." she gave another sigh and looked back down.

"Maura" Jane held Maura's hand and gave it a light squeeze "You don't have to explain if it bothers you that much."

Maura shook her head "I'm just…disappointed in myself. I'm a doctor, I should know better."

"You do know better. You threw them out right?"

"I did" Maura looked at Jane again "Yes."

"What made you start doing this?" Jane whispered.

Maura closed her eyes "I'm sorry" she whispered "I just wanted to….feel something different. Or somehow be in control of what I was feeling."

"Because of me" Jane whispered.

Maura stood quiet and entwined her fingers with Jane.

"I'm sorry" Jane spoke retreating her fingers from Maura's.

"No" Maura practically growled out seeking Jane's hand "Don't let go."

"Maura-"

"No Jane" she shook her head "hold my hand."

Jane rubbed at her eyes before holding Maura's hand with hers.

"I'm sorry" she repeated.

"Me too" Maura smiled softly.

The look on Jane's face worried Maura. She couldn't decipher what she was feeling by her facial muscles. _upset? worried? wanting to run? all of the above?_

Jane looked at Maura and saw the hint of panic.

"Still not going anywhere" she reassured.

Maura let out a sigh of relief "I'm sorry.." she laughed mostly to herself "I can't help it."

"I'm not Ian" Jane simply stated "I won't leave you so easily."

Maura smiled but still noticed something in Jane.

"What is it?" she gave a light squeeze to Jane's hand "are you alright?"

Jane gave a nervous chuckled and nodded "I am" she said "But we need to talk."

Maura's heart sank at the words.

Jane let go of her hand, got up to retrieve a folder and sat back down, facing Maura.

"Jane?"

"I .." Jane was hesitant. She wasn't sure where to start. She groaned frustrated _How do I begin to say this?_ She grabbed the folder opened it up and handed it to Maura.

Maura raised an eyebrow at Jane and looked down to her lap were the folder rested and she read _Certificate of live birth. Name: Elizabeth Rose Jeffrey. Sex: Female. Date of birth: January 4 2005 3:56 am_

Maura looked up at Jane in confusion.

"Keep looking."

Maura flipped through to the next paper and the title caught her attention _Official Adoption Papers. _She looked up at Jane in surprise.

"Just hear me out, okay?"

Maura nodded.

"I'm sure you already know this" Jane smiled "You know everything."

Maura smirked.

Jane took a breath to prepare herself, trying to find the right words to say "I love her and I know you do too" she paused "I can't let her go, she's ours now. I..I want to adopt her. But I don't want to adopt her without you."

Maura's smirk faded.

"God" Jane groaned bringing her hands to her face "Ma said I would screw this up."

"You're not screwing anything up, Jane. Please continue."

"In order to be able to adopt her with you we'd have to be legally married or file for domestic partnership."

Maura nodded.

"I mean, we haven't even gone out on our first date yet. It's _way_ too soon for that, I know. But I love you and you love me."

Maura's smile was back.

"And if anything is going to finally make you trust me and believe I'm not going anywhere?….It's this."

"Are you asking me to marry you, Jane?"

Jane chuckled "No Maura, I mean…No…"

Maura furrowed her brows in confusion.

"But I am asking you to adopt Elizabeth, and when our relationship has grown and we are both in a place in our lives when we are ready to" she paused searching for the words again "to make a bigger commitment…to one another…Well then, I would want to adopt her too" she smiled.

Maura raised a finger to Jane and got up, she rummaged through her desk and took out a folder of her own, she went to sit back down and handed Jane the folder.

"Open it"

Jane was hesitant but curiosity got the best of her and she opened the folder.

"It seems we were thinking the same thing Detective." Maura smiled.

-/-

**reviews, thoughts…confessions? all are so very welcomed.**


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